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Old 09-16-2012, 08:28 PM   #1
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Question for parents of ASD kiddos

I'm not 100% sure this is the right place to ask, but I thought I might have the best chance here.

Do any of you with kids on the Spectrum have a spouse/partner on it as well? Both my 5 yo son AND my DH have been diagnosed with Asperger's. My husbands is actually much more severe than my sons. I feel so very ovetwhelmed and am having trouble finding anyone who has BTDT.

Discovering DS was on the spectrum was hard, and DH should have been the one I could turn to, but he was in the middle of coming to terms with his own dx.

If nothing else, this may have saved our marriage. I finally know why we just can't seem to connect and why dealing with all four of our kiddos nearly sends him into a panic attack...

Anyway, I know this is technically for parents of ASD's but maybe someone is in the same boat???

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Old 09-16-2012, 08:43 PM   #2
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

Different boat, lol. I was the parent that didn't figure out I was an aspire until ds was diagnosed. After I came to terms with it all I have been able to use my experiences to help ds
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Old 09-16-2012, 08:55 PM   #3
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

Ah! *hugs* Do you ever have any... I don't know what to call them... quirks? Obsessions? That conflict with your sons? What do you do in that case??? DS, When upset, takes all of his DVD's out of their cases and lines them up on the entertainment center then spends hours sprting them different wys.

DH has to have everything PERFECTLY in its place or he stresses out. Having the discs out of their cases will put him in a panic. I'm stuck in the middle trying to figure out which one to stress ou...
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Old 09-17-2012, 05:36 AM   #4
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

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Originally Posted by Ky-Momma View Post
Ah! *hugs* Do you ever have any... I don't know what to call them... quirks? Obsessions? That conflict with your sons? What do you do in that case??? DS, When upset, takes all of his DVD's out of their cases and lines them up on the entertainment center then spends hours sprting them different wys.

DH has to have everything PERFECTLY in its place or he stresses out. Having the discs out of their cases will put him in a panic. I'm stuck in the middle trying to figure out which one to stress ou...
My son did this as well (also 5). It frankly drove me nuts because I was worried about them lasting and it did take a toll on them. It started with arrangements on the table, but then moved to the floor, then to books in his room. He completely wanted to own them and the obsession with them was getting worse and worse where there would be melt downs and fights when I told him it was time to put them back. My DS did this with our DVDs sooo much that they wound up unplayable. I tried to limit the time my kiddo did this with the DVDs and eventually went and hid them all once it got so bad it was a daily battle multiple times a day.

Out of sight, out of mind. He was a bit upset at first, of course. But I redirected him to make arrangements with other toys/books and eventually this helped him with his need to arrange things without it being something like his DVDs. I thought of possibly making photocopies of the DVDs and laminating them to give him those to rearrange. But he mostly has taken to arranging books with the same sorts of characters on them that the DVDs had. Maybe you can find a substitute that your kiddo will accept and that won't drive your DH nuts.

Good luck!
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Old 09-17-2012, 12:41 PM   #5
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

My husband has undiagnosed OCD, but as far as i know, nothing on the spectrum.. But after my daughter was diagnosed, I saw it in alot of people, Including myself, .I'm 90% sure I have Asperger's myself. So I'm kinda in a different boat. lol

As a kid i had alot of the obsession thing (dogs and ninja turtles) but as an adult it's much more social now. not knowing what to do/say in certian situations, acting differently than what other people would do/say, hard to make real friendships (as a child I hung out with the recess teacher, even though kids were always wanting to play with me), Anxiety, didn't learn to drive until I was 28, BIG social anxiety issues, Can't do crowds of people, Stores are too busy I wig out, (normally right next to miranda, lol)

And on and on.

I wish you luck with the situation. I can't imagine what it's like to have a DH with something like this. Maybe you should be talking to my DH who has a wife and child like this. lol
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Old 09-17-2012, 08:04 PM   #6
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

Thank you guys so much for the open and honest responses!! No, its not the same boat, but any insight into AS/NT relationships or hearing from Aspie adults helps. It feel. s like a glimpse into his world.
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Old 09-17-2012, 08:22 PM   #7
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

My ds is HFA, and my dh is most likely an undiagnosed aspie. Actually he is a lot better now, before we got married there where a few quirks, and from what he has said he was way worse as a kid. He has taught himself a lot of nessecasary social skills(like looking people in the eye or at least acting like it), but there are still some social aspects you can tell he just doesn't get. he also has some social anxiety, especially in crowded, noisy areas.
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Old 09-18-2012, 07:44 PM   #8
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

I really don't have too many aspire issues anymore. But, I have one son with aspergers and one with autism. They conflict a lot. It keeps getting better but they definitely but heads
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Old 09-18-2012, 08:24 PM   #9
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Re: Question for parents of ASD kiddos

Can your son have special DVD's that are kept in his room so he can do his thing while not stressing your dh out?
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