Late talker and it's my fault?

[wonton]

Originally Posted by my2sweets I wouldnt worry just yet. She needs to be talked too(reading is awesome, even if she wont sit still she'll still hear you and you wont feel as silly talking outloud-at least that was the case for me lol). Also encourage her to talk. If she just points and/or grunts and gets exactly what she wants then she doesnt have a reason to talk kwim?

That makes sense.
She is my bitty baby and kinda like having "my first child all over again", sense her brother was nearly 8 when I gave birth to her.
She has just started the "screaming/squealing stage" so that is umm different.

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange I wouldn't be overly worried. And I wouldn't blame yourself. DD was a late talker. She just learned 'no' at 21months. Of course, I try not to say 'no' very often. She really took off after 18months, which is when they're supposed to. She still doesn't do 2word sentences really or anything, but she is using more words. Not mama, mind you.. she refuses to say anything that designates me. I used to worry that it was my fault. It made a ton of sense. DH deployed when she was 8 weeks old and I pretty much had no one to talk to. I'd try to say everything out loud, but I forgot a lot. I have a pretty constant internal conversation with myself and actually speaking doesn't happen as often as some people. I would notice when she was a little baby that she would babble a lot more on days when we went to playgroups, so I decided that it was me. She was quiet because her mom was quiet, but when she heard all the talking at groups, she would get more talkative. Friends told me that I just had to try harder to speak out loud. And I do. The real issue that they have where children start looking like they need early intervention is when they don't really communicate in other ways, either. Like not pointing. They should be pointing around a year. DD was not doing anything other than screaming when she wanted something and this was concerning. She ended up qualifying at 14months, but by the time the sessions started a month or so later, they thought she had caught up and that her delay was due to her being focused on other skills (most notably gross motor, in which she is advanced). They've kept her in the program anyways because it's easier to stay in than to get back in and we're waiting to see what happens when she turns 2. So, I really wouldn't worry at 18months, I'd just wait until 2. There is SO much that will happen in those 6 months. And if it doesn't happen, then you know there might be something to work on. It's easy to blame ourselves. I don't inherently think it's our fault, but we do have to make a bigger effort than some people in saying things out loud.

That is me too, I am constantly talking to myself but dont really talk aloud unless Im really motivated to.
I dont even have any mommy groups either, Im not very social and she hates her carseat so that all makes it really difficult to get out of the house.
I feel so awkward around others Im not comfortable with and it really drains me.

She does point and does what she can to communicate.

I guess Im more worried that it might be an indication of other learning problems.

My son just didnt seem to *need* to talk to get his needs met and didnt seem interested in it, we also taught him some basic sign language. He was more physical than anything. DD has discovered climbing the last couple of months and really *loves* that, much to our terror lol. She's not even super advanced at but enough to scare us because she could hurt herself if she fell. She does have some desire to "write", which her brother had none.

I just feel bad that Im not a "fun nurturer", I do all the basics like always quickly changing her diapers, comforting her when shes tired, hurt, hungry, but I am not a fun and engaging momma.
My adhd gets in the way a lot, Ive always struggled w/being "in the moment" and interactive w/their play and finding creative things for them to do. I suck at all of that, but at the same time Ive felt it was important for me to be at home w/them.

Im going to start her in preschool sooner than I did ds and see how that goes.
He was 3.5 when he was in part time daycare and 4 when he started preschool.

Dh was excited that DD could throw a ball overhand as that seems to be a more advanced skill for her age group. He is a "certified genius" (more like certifiable, jking! lol) so I know he places a lot of value in being highly
intelligent. Heck I know every parent wants their kid to be super intelligent and be "advanced", but honestly if my kids are just average and happy I am perfectly ok w/that.

[mamashhon]

Originally Posted by my2sweets I wouldnt worry just yet. She needs to be talked too(reading is awesome, even if she wont sit still she'll still hear you and you wont feel as silly talking outloud-at least that was the case for me lol). Also encourage her to talk. If she just points and/or grunts and gets exactly what she wants then she doesnt have a reason to talk kwim?

DS2 was late to talk and this really helped us. But now I can't ever shut up with three kids so it remedied itself!

[isabelsmummy]

That doesn't seem at all delayed to me. Not even a little. It seems totally common. Some speak more, some less but that isn't odd. If by about 22-24 mos you don't see the very typical language explosion at all, I might have it looked into.

Early speaking can be a sign of great intelligence but not necessarily. DH's brother, and his kids (our nephews)were crazy late talkers - pretty much nothing until after 3 and they are all far more 'school smart' than my daughters who spoke at a more expected time.

[escapethevillage]

Well, it has to be your fault.

It can't be his fault.

[eahcapemay]

DS is starting to be behind in his speech. It's 100% my fault. I don't even question it. I'm not saying with your LO its your fault. I'm not in your house everyday. But I do know I've epicly screwed up. We go see the ped on Friday for an evaluation.

[EmilytheStrange]

a delay in speech that is due to a person not talking enough can easily be remedied by talking, eahcapemay. I wouldn't worry. That's just something to work on.. but not something that's clinical.

As for the ball throwing over the hand - DD still doesn't do that at 21months, but she's not very 'fine motor' enthused. She will drop it in a certain direction and kick it, but throwing? nope. I think your daughter is just focused on different things. I really bet you'll see the explosion in her vocabulary after she's 18months.

[wonton]

Originally Posted by escapethevillage Well, it has to be your fault. It can't be his fault.

Uhh that seems to be par for the course in this household lol.

Originally Posted by eahcapemay DS is starting to be behind in his speech. It's 100% my fault. I don't even question it. I'm not saying with your LO its your fault. I'm not in your house everyday. But I do know I've epicly screwed up. We go see the ped on Friday for an evaluation.

Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange a delay in speech that is due to a person not talking enough can easily be remedied by talking, eahcapemay. I wouldn't worry. That's just something to work on.. but not something that's clinical. As for the ball throwing over the hand - DD still doesn't do that at 21months, but she's not very 'fine motor' enthused. She will drop it in a certain direction and kick it, but throwing? nope. I think your daughter is just focused on different things. I really bet you'll see the explosion in her vocabulary after she's 18months.

I am wondering does it matter *what* one reads? Ive been reading the Rachel Morgan witch book series.
I just dont think I can handle reading about elmo and dora *all* the time.

I am also worried about her getting confused like if I say a word but she's looking at something and she suddenly thinks ie: a tree is a truck.

As for overhand throwing she doesnt do it a lot but we have witnessed it.

I need to not let her screaming be her main communication, it's just when she does it, the first thing I think I do is whatever I can do get her to stop!!! Bad mommy!

She's probably fine, but we will just keep an eye on her and I just hope she doesnt have any LD's like her brother.

Thanks everybody!

[eahcapemay]

[QUOTE]a delay in speech that is due to a person not talking enough can easily be remedied by talking, eahcapemay. I wouldn't worry. That's just something to work on.. but not something that's clinical. [QUOTE]
Except speech isn't just a numbers game. The answer isn't say X number of words per day and read for Y hours and *bam* highly verbal baby. Teaching a child to talk is more complex. The child of a parent who is very good at correctly identifying what the child is looking at and naming it for the child will have an astronomically higher vocbabulary than the child of a parent who isn't as good. Yammering at your kid for hours doesn't teach them much. Conversing with them and eliciting a diversity of sounds is what matters. Immediately catering to your child's needs, instead of attempting to get them to ask also doesn't help them develop language. Parenting is huge part of when a child learns to speak. It's why early or late speech isn't indicative of iq, it's usually indicative of the primary care givers ability to teach. (I'm not being critical of parenting ability, just teaching ability)

[ktmelody]

Originally Posted by stevensmom Dd is 22mo and is delayed in her expressive language. She only says dada and uhoh and will arff arff. However she is a bright cookie! She can hear and understand very well. Even better than her bug brother or dad Our ped said that we will evaluate her at 24mo if it doesn't increase. And we talk talk talk to her constantly. I keep getting reminded that Einstein didn't talk until 3. **I do know how to spell...my iPod on the other hand does not**

Einstein was 5 and almost all professionals agree that he had aspergers syndrome or a form of autism.

op if you are concerned call early intervention. My dd was delayed and EI has helped us immensely. She has other issues, but her speech at home is great now after a year of therapy.

[bigmamakelsey]

I think your DD sounds absolutely normal. DS only knew mama and dada at 18 months. He didn't really start talking at all until 2, and even then, he babbled a lot. He's 2 1/2 now and finally to the point where he can say short sentences to get his point across. He's GREAT at retaining information though. He surprises me all the time with what he knows and can remember.