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Old 07-20-2012, 08:27 AM   #11
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Re: Mean Mommies

Why NOT start your own group? Sounds like you All NEED an alternative place to get away from this woman and her odd oppression of others!

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Old 07-20-2012, 08:50 AM   #12
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Re: Mean Mommies

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Originally Posted by babycat42 View Post
How do you deal with mean mommies?
I wrote this at three in the morning so my thoughts are out of order.
I joined a new moms group and of course one of the first thing I start talking about is cloth diapers. I mention my gigantic stash and how I went waay over board and have lots of cheap diapers to sell. Not all in one post but as it became relevant to the thread. She contacted me to buy some of the diapers and then chewed me out about selling on her board. (I also posted the diapers for sale on craigslist and she tried to buy them from me there too.) After the way she spoke to me I wasn't going to sell her any of my diapers.
After a few weeks the the mom who started the group decided that she didn't want anyone selling anything in "her" group. Anytime anyone posts anything that she doesn't like she deletes the post. She allows her friends to post what I would call ads for things like photography and other businesses.
I posted about a flea market this weekend. I was not the first to post about this particular flea market. I just mentioned that I would be there and what I was bringing IE: Tons of cloth diapers. People start asking what diapers am I bringing. I don't post any more about what I am selling.
Previous she claimed that I had a cloth diaper business.
She posts again "No sales threads."
I post on her thread saying this is a mom's group not your private group. You need to respect the wants of everyone in the group not just what you personally want. Several other mom's post saying that they agree with me.
She responds with well if you don't like it make your own group. More people disagree with her.
I post that since she is always talking about how much money she has that she doesn't understand what it is like to be poor. That sometimes you need new things for your kids and you don't have any money to buy new things but you have some things your kids have outgrown and you would love to sell or even trade these things with other moms. She deletes my posts and all the posts where people are agreeing with me. No one posts supporting her. I was angry that she kept deleting posts so I posted about how she has so much money that you don't need to worry about selling things that she will buy the things you need because she is loaded. She deleted that post. I posted Tyrant dictator and another mom posts yep. And we both get booted from the group.
The mom that started the group is pretty much the only one that posts new threads. I think that the other moms in the group are either afraid to post or she just keeps deleting all of their posts.
I think that she needs to be called out for her actions.
I don't want to act childish about it (although the post about her buying the thing you need was very childish of me)
What would you do?
Post about when you have encountered a mean mommy.

I what I think is the saddest is that lots of moms are joining the group and mommy groups are not very common around here. There are a few very cliquey play groups that snub you completely if you attend to join them. I think most moms just want other moms to hang out with and playmates for the kids. But these few mean women ruin it for the majority of us.
Make your own group , problem solved
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:00 AM   #13
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Re: Mean Mommies

I agree, I would just go ahead and make your own group.
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:17 AM   #14
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Re: Mean Mommies

I don't believe it's our job to put others in their place. THAT is mean. If you don't like someone's behavior then don't associate yourself with that person. By engaging in back-and-forth you not only contributed to the negativity, you encouraged it.
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:47 AM   #15
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Re: Mean Mommies

i dont get involved in mainstream parenting groups. im sure there are enough crunchy open minded people in your area. maybe give your info to baby wearing or bfing mamas you see, try going to LLL that is usually a good place to start
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Old 07-20-2012, 10:13 AM   #16
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Re: Mean Mommies

Create your own group and dont stoop to "mean mommy" status just because you are frustrated or upset. Its not okay for our children to do mean things just because they are frustrated, right?

Sorry but you are in the wrong here. The other mom is too. But you cant control her. Focus on controlling yourself and not putting yourself around people that bring out the worst in you.
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Old 07-20-2012, 01:09 PM   #17
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Re: Mean Mommies

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Originally Posted by dancermommy1 View Post
So... You joined a group where you posted something that the moderator didn't like and asked you not to post any more along those lines, and then got mad because you continued to post those things instead of just leaving and using other means to post your sales?

Am I missing something here? Just because you convinced other people to team up and bully her along with you doesn't make you the one in the right.

Why didn't you just write down the email addresses of the moms you like and then leave the group and contact them one-to-one? Why start/perpetuate drama with someone you only know online, and with whom you have no other contact?

In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? This seems like a pretty petty online dispute, IMO, when there are a lot of "real-life" things out there that could use the energy put into this sort of quarrel...

Just my
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I want to make sure I'm understanding you. You join a new group and shortly after get into a posting war with the owner/moderator to the point that you call her a name and pick on her for having more money.

Have you considered that there was more than one mean mommy in this situation?

I usually deal with mean mommies by avoiding them at all costs.
Sound to me like you were the one being the mean mommy.
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Old 07-20-2012, 01:56 PM   #18
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Re: Mean Mommies

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Originally Posted by misscrazO View Post
Make your own group , problem solved
Yep
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Old 07-20-2012, 01:57 PM   #19
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Re: Mean Mommies

Personally, I hate seeing B/S/T ads on my Facebook mommy pages... all those pages also have a B/S/T page that goes along with them, and all ads are placed there. I can understand why the mod in your OP didn't want you constantly posting about diapers you want to sell. I'm co-leader of a local AP group, and we have a Facebook page... all B/S/T ads get deleted, and we ask the seller to post them on our B/S/T page instead. That's one of the rules, so our page isn't constantly getting spammed.
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Old 07-20-2012, 07:53 PM   #20
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Re: Mean Mommies

our mommy group has a rule that you post what you have FSOT in one single thread, this way the wall isn't bombarded. And all "business" stuff needs to be in a Doc.

I agree that creating your own group sounds like the way to go. If any of the other moms from there are your FB friends, they will probably join
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