WWYD? Return or keep the child you've been raising?

[Umm_Ibraheem]

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes her son was removed by cps because he was born with meth in his system. she was able to get him back but then after getting 2 DUI's he was removed from the home again. it came about that they found a report i had written against my stepfather accusing him of sexual abuse back when i was 15. CPS interviewed me and i confirmed that what i wrote was the truth (stepfather refused a polygraph) and CPS would not give him to my mother if she was living with him. she had the choice to voluntarily terminate her rights to him or forfeit any future child as well. she chose to let the foster family do an open adoption and she gets to do a visit with him every 3 months. now that he is older (11) he has caught on that they are his parents. i do not see my brother or any of my family as i moved to MO and they live in OR. my mother has since cleaned up her act, she now has a 8 year old daughter as well.

Thank you for your honesty and for sharing. I'm glad your mom is doing better.

[Kimmyann]

I would not give him back..but I would also allow contact in the form of letters, pictures, skype..as long as my son was interested in doing so.

[FindingMercy]

Originally Posted by musicmom2x I don't understand the don't be selfish aspect that people go on about. Yes it would be a transition and would need some help with adjustment issues, but if a child's mother wants it, is physically and mentally capable of caring for their child then no matter what the circumstances are, that child belongs with its mother. Period. I get that it's emotional and traumatizing, but so is tearing a child from a loving mother and KEEPING that child from her. It is not just the right thing to do. It is the right thing for everyone involved.

Because a child isn't an "it". And an adoptive mother is a mother as well. There are 2 loving mothers in these situations.

Now, if the adoptive mother knew of the fraud ahead of time, that changes things.

[kelly679]

i had a similar situation. A 3 month old who's mom surendered her at a safe place. She changed her mind and wanted the baby back. We were to be her adoptive family. (she was not yet placed with us but we were visiting her) CPS bent over backwards for her. Calling a special interruptor so the woman could understand (she spoke with a special dialect) arranging her services. Woman was in the country illegally. CPS decided that ultimately she would get custody back. She'd been away from the baby only 9 weeks. It was heartbreaking for us. But in this case i could understand giving baby back to bio mom. After 5 years? No. That kid knows his parents and is stable.

I feel awful for both parties in the trafficing case. I sincerely hope that didn't happen with my daughter. Would i give her back? No.