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Old 07-20-2012, 08:45 PM   #11
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

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Originally Posted by Brittany1287 View Post
she does cry alot... I already took gluten/dairy/rice out she still has bad gas. DS will be 3 in August...he is really naughty we have some behavior issues he goes to a developmental ped the end of the month. unfortunately we have no family here and really don't know anyone. And the only thing my sister and mom do is tell me I just need to go to formula and feed her cereal and that she is starving (which my dad tried telling me to). I can nurse in a sling thing i have but she gets a bad latch when in there then I get super sore, although sometimes I do it. It is way too hot to go to a park 107 today. And I hate nursing in public. I tried doing the bare minimum then DH flipped out on me and told me I am getting nothing done and that TONS of other women nurse and keep up with lots of kids and housework so i should too (he got this stupid idea from a guy at work that has 9 kids and his wife bf and homeschools)
For that.. please tell your husband to STFU from me!

The next time he's home. Make him do exactly what you do all day long. Seriously, Sitting with you the whole time your baby nurses, waking up and staying up everytime she needs to eat, taking care of your son. Just see how much he gets done. My husband was a little annoying when i got burnt out during the horrible 3 week growth spurt. I forced him to stay awake with me everytime my daughter was awake at night for 2 nights by screaming at him, poking and kicking him so he couldn't go back to sleep. After 2 nights he said he was sorry and started to cut me some slack and help out more.
Take care of your kids and screw the house!
and it gets way better at like 8 to 10 weeks!

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Old 07-20-2012, 09:11 PM   #12
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

LOL well I have tried that...he thinks because he works such long hours and is gone that when he is home it is "rest" time so he is either on the cpu or something he never wants to play with DS hardly and doens't help much at all...he tells me I "spoil" our kids (yeah right I feel like I Don't spend enough time with DS as it is!) that he just needs to play by himself so all I hear when he is home is "go play go play go play" and he has been on the couch since DD was born bc he gets grouchy at me when the lights on and she is crying in the night so I told him just sleep on the couch..now he is grouchy cause I still have him on the couch lol but he is a noisy sleeper and as soon as I get her to sleep he rolls or flops around and wakes her up.
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:31 PM   #13
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

Oh mamma! Hugs! You are doing great, just take a deep breath. Your baby is 7 weeks old! First off, the nursing habits you describe are 100% normal. Sounds like you and baby have got the nursing down, and baby is gaining weight- great! Second, switching to formula won't fix the issues you've described; hang in there.

A few other things. You mentioned pumping and that you don't get much from pumping. Just wanted to head off any worries you may have had about your milk supply. Pumping is not a reliable indication of milk supply, so don't worry about that. As long as baby has output and is gaining, you're fine. Also, relax about the house. I know it is so easy to say online, but you have a newborn. Those first few months are so intense, and your baby so helpless and needs you. Life will settle again, but for now, you can't expect life to be as it was. Now you have not only a newborn, but two children to tend. Perhaps your husband has forgotten how demanding an infant is. Is there a gentle way to remind him?

Finally, I wholeheartedly recommend the pp's suggestion to attend LLL. That stands for La Leche League. It is a breastfeeding support group for moms and it is the best thing ever. Find a local meeting location at their website and GO! You can bring both your kids. It will give you much needed support, and probably some other ideas on how to handle what you're going through.

Hang in there, your baby sounds perfectly normal. You can do this!
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:39 PM   #14
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

Just saw your new posts. Your husband is full of BS and out of line. For the first three months, I didn't cook, and my house certainly wasn't clean... sorry your husband doesn't get it right now. I know my husband had a reality check when he was home with me for a month in between jobs. Seeing what it's really like taking care of baby... he was glad to go back to work! He told me he doesn't know how I do it or how I'm so patient. I'm trying to say at least other moms "get it". Wish I had some better ideas on how to handle your husband.
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:45 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Brittany1287
My DD is 7 weeks she wants to nurse every 1.5 hours and eats for 45 minutes...which means I have 45 minutes to pee and eat and take care of my toddler and sometimes that 45 is spent trying to keep her from crying... I am so close to switching to formula...DH is gone 2 weeks at a time and no help when he is here and DS1 is so naughty and getting neglected bc I am busy nursing...I can't even go anywhere cause she needs to eat by the time we get there and DS1 wont sit in the car for 45 minutes while I nurse her. She is gaining well...so wth is going on...I really want her to have bm and the thought of not is making me depressed and DH told me how bad i am for wanting to quit and how i need to let her cry and organize my time so i can cook and clean the house..he has no idea...someone suggested pumping and feeding her bottles but i get 2 oz max a session after 20 min of pumping so i dont think that would work. I am having almost like panik attacts bc I am so stressed.
Your pump output is right on.

Things get easier. This IS the hard part. I always say, give it 3 months. You WILL find a groove. Baby gets used to it. You get used to it. Find a way to nurse in a moby. Start offering a paci, even if you hold it in her mouth ( not forcing but stopping it from being shot across the room, lol)
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:50 PM   #16
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Hugs! I also have a 2 yo and a 2 mo...it is a lesson in patience on the best of days. I agree your DH is out of line! Next time he is home you need to leave him with both kids for 4 hours and go to the spa or movies, when you get home ask him why the house is a mess and where your dinner is.

My best advice is get out of the house more. Even if it takes til 11am to get out of the house, you have to nurse in the mall food court and in the car, and you get home late for nap time it is worth it! Cabin fever in a 2 yo is ugly! An outing, a little change of scenery, some socialization and a long nap for the toddler can do wonders for your frustration level at the end of the day.
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Old 07-20-2012, 09:51 PM   #17
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

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Originally Posted by mariamommy View Post
And I swear...bottle feeding is harder. Both hands are tied up doing that! :P
I agree. Breastfeeding means no bottles, no cleaning, no heating up water, no mixing, no nasty smell. If I can encourage you, your baby is about to hit the 8 week growth spurt. She may eat like a fiend for a few days, but then she will SLEEP for long stretches. During those naps, try to pump (you'll probably feel like you need to anyway) and then have your DH feed the baby from a bottle for one feeding every couple of days. This will help you get some time to yourself or to take care of the toddler.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:12 AM   #18
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I agree that getting out helps. Even babies are interested in the change and crying stops. You could put both kids in the stroller and take a walk in the early AM while it is still in the 80s, or if it gets really cloudy/overcast that's a good time to walk too. (I'm in Texas so I completely understand the heat.) I always feel better after a walk. One time both my 3yo and baby fell asleep in the stroller - it was the best hour of my life

Or just go for a drive if you are at your wits end and need a change of scenery.

How is your almost 3yo at independent play? Does he enjoy educational cartoons? My 3yo spends half the day playing learning games on pbskids.com. She taught herself how to do this about a month before she turned 3 and right before DD2 got here. It has saved my life. I feel like I ignore her too. I just do the basics (brush her teeth, comb her hair, get her dressed, feed her) and do the occasional book/puzzle. I talk to her as much as I can when I am "stuck" with the baby, and try not to beat myself up, but I do feel badly about it. So don't feel alone in this - you are doing your best and doing it right, even if less important things like housework and complicated dinners fall through the cracks.

You've got to ignore hubs. He is full of it. Maybe he can get you supermom's email addy and you can ask her how she does it. If she tells you the same things as us, you can tell DH "see?!".

Do you think your elimination diet is helping? If not, I highly recommend cutting out soy and eggs as well as pork and beef. Why did you cut rice? I thought that was a safe one. I'm doing this as well so I know how much it sucks.

Being a mom is hard! You are doing a GREAT job. Hang in there because it WILL get better.
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Old 07-21-2012, 06:36 AM   #19
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You mentioned your DH wakes up the baby when he rolls over...have you tried putting a fan on? My 2wo woke up every time I got back in bed after nursing but after I put a fan on it got much better. Good luck with your DH. *hugs*
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Old 07-23-2012, 09:52 AM   #20
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Re: How often do your babies nurse?

Your husband needs to keep his mouth shut! Haha No, but really he has NO idea how difficult it is to nurse, keep up with a toddler, and keep a clean house. I only have 1 DD and I can tell you I didn't cook a meal for probably the first 2 months of her life. The ONLY thing I could do is feed her. I had no energy for anything else. DD is a year now and my house is still a mess.

If he thinks taking care of kids and keeping a clean house is easy, tell him to try it. Leave him alone for a day with them and I guarantee he'll change his attitude.

HUGS! The first couple of months are rough. You're doing great. If you want to keep nursing I think that's awesome, but just know that formula isn't the devil if you decide to go that route too.
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