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Old 07-20-2012, 05:10 PM   #21
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Re: Am I overreacting?

If you are honoring the with being your child's god parents, I would do it at a time that they can relax and enjoy it. It should be a memorable occasion, I wouldn't want it clouded with grouchy thoughts.

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Old 07-20-2012, 05:21 PM   #22
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Re: Am I overreacting?

I'm personally on the fence. This event is really about the child's baptism, and I realize your sister decided it would be a good idea to do it while she would already be in town, and you agreed or vise versa.

But what is more important having many people who love and support the child there or accomodating it for 2 people knowing others won't be able to take off work for this joyous event? However this far in advance it might not be too difficult for others to arrange their work schedules to come in late, leave a little early for lunch, etc.

You just have to decide what is more important to you. I'm sure your sister will come whichever you decide wether she "wants" to or not, and if she chooses not too, that should say a lot about the role you are asking her to take on in your child's life.
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Old 07-20-2012, 06:05 PM   #23
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Re: Am I overreacting?

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Catholics dont do them during services, at least not here.



Check on that. Alot of churches are relaxing that rule. We didnt have to follow it here, and we are Catholic.
I don't say this to attack you at all I just want to clarify incorrect information.I have worked at several Catholic churches and that is not true. You have to be a Catholic and in good standing to be a godparent. You may be talking about being a witness but you are not a godparent. If churches are allowing people who are not Catholics and are not in good standing to be godparents you need to call your bishop.

OP:Not sure if this will work but you could do a proxy baptism. If your sister can't make it you can complete all the paperwork for her and her husband and then have someone stand as a proxy for the actual baptism. On the baptismal record it will have your sister and her dh as the godparents. I understand you want her there but I know how important baptism is as well so this may work and then you can see your sister around her schedule.
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Old 07-20-2012, 06:26 PM   #24
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Re: Am I overreacting?

My suggestion would also be to do a proxy baptism. We've often had to do this with our kids. Our general rule is to schedule the baptism when it's convenient for us but usually in the 4 to 6 week period after the birth. We avoid having any family visitors before the baptism (everyone lives out of town and would stay with us, most are the type to expect me to entertain them as well) and say that no one can come until the baptism. I've learned to no longer stress over making sure the schedule is perfect for everyone because you'll never be able to keep everyone happy. I'd try to work with your sister's schedule since they will be so close but if it doesn't work out, just apologize and schedule the baptism for the date that works best for you.
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Old 07-20-2012, 06:32 PM   #25
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Re: Am I overreacting?

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Honestly, if the wedding was planned first, and she is asking for Friday, I'd do Friday.

However, I am confused why you aren't doing it on Sunday during services? Every baptism I've ever been to is on Sunday morning during the church service.
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Old 07-20-2012, 06:40 PM   #26
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Re: Am I overreacting?

If the wedding festivities are spread over a whole weekend I think she could take a few hours out to come to the baptism since they are the godparents. I would say no if one of them is a major player in the wedding. I am guessing that no one would miss them for a little while if they are not. If they don't want to do it, see if they would be willing to come back another time. I would not do it on Monday since dh and other family members can't make it since they will be at work.
Oh, and for all the godparent questions. Being a godparent doesn't give you any legal rights to that child in the event of the parents' death. Wills and state laws govern that. If you want someone to raise your child should you both die, be sure to write it down in your will so it can happen. Biological parents usually have first rights. Grandparents on either side are usually next. Don't count on the state to decide where your kids should go.
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Old 07-20-2012, 06:46 PM   #27
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Re: Am I overreacting?

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My bet is that they are planning on drinking Sunday night at the wedding, and don't want to get up early Monday to do the baptism early enough to make their flight. They may be hungover, and are too polite to say..."We don't want to be hungover at your kid's baptism."

I can completely appreciate that. They paid a lot of money to fly across the country and want to enjoy themselves at the reception.
My thoughts exactly!
By doing the baptism on Friday they can have a drink-fest the whole weekend long and enjoy themselves.

If you don't want to do it on Friday then I think you should just schedule it for Sunday during the service and let them chose to either "ruin" their weekend plans or not come to the baptism. Offer them the proxy option if you want.

YDD's Godparent actually got the flu two days before the baptism, so we had a proxy stand in. It went fine.
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Old 07-20-2012, 10:01 PM   #28
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However, I am confused why you aren't doing it on Sunday during services? Every baptism I've ever been to is on Sunday morning during the church service.
We did not have our children's baptisms at a Sunday service or the multiple family baptisms many Catholic churches now have.

Their baptisms were private events, and those in attendance were family and friends. They were wonderful celebrations about our family and our babies. Laughing, family involvement, cameras, re-takes for missed photo ops... it was so personal & so lovely!
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Old 07-20-2012, 10:19 PM   #29
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Re: Am I overreacting?

maybe if they cant find a way to carve out any time during the 4 days they are in town you can just have the baptism some other time and they can fly out across the country for it
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Old 07-20-2012, 11:31 PM   #30
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FYI - the Catholic church only requires 1 godparent (not 2). Also, you can have 2, 3 or even 4 godparents for a child... Any only 1 has to be Catholic.

We had a proxy DD's godmother.

Due to the fact they're traveling, I would ask your sister what times (plural) she has open in her schedule. What will work, and what won't. Settle on a schedule with your priest and what will work for all with time to enjoy the event. It may not be the exact day you had planned, but it will be blessed and you'll all be together enjoying baby's special moment.
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