Support for mean mamas

[Palooka]

This is a shout-out to all my fellow "mean" mamas!

Okay, lol, I'm not actually mean... but there are so many attachment parenting threads on here that I thought hey, maybe there are some non-AP mamas who might want to bond, or some AP moms who also are "mean" sometimes. Not talking about hitting kids or being emotionally abusive, so let's not even go there. This isn't to rag on AP moms, I love AP moms and am good friends with a few in real life. Also NOT saying AP moms don't discipline. I just mention AP because I do time-outs and stuff. If you're an AP mom who can relate to this thread please join in! However you want to parent your little one is OK by me, this isn't an attack or anything. Just looking for other like-minded parents.

If you refuse to count to 3... you might be a mean mama!
If you say this is your dinner and if you don't like it you'll go hungry... you might be a mean mama!
If you've ever said "You can come out of time-out when you're ready to be happy" and only later realized that sounds totally nuts... you might be a mean mama!

Add yours. Mine is probably TV and screens, I literally smacked the phone out of my hubby's hands a few days ago when he tried to show our baby something on the screen. It was a total reflex, "No screens until age 3!" *whack!*

[bluedaisyma]

I am a mean mama....but I am also totally AP. I am not sure if you are thinking AP parents never discipline their kids, etc? just curious

[Palooka]

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma I am a mean mama....but I am also totally AP. I am not sure if you are thinking AP parents never discipline their kids, etc? just curious

Noooo.... this is so what I was afraid of. I'm about to ask to delete this thread right now.

I'm just looking for funny things mom's do that some other mom's might call "mean." whether you are AP or not, whether the one's calling you mean are AP or not.

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

usually people opposite of AP are referred to mainstream. but yeah i can see why people would call someone that does CIO or spanking mean

[bluedaisyma]

Originally Posted by jenn.mcc Noooo.... this is so what I was afraid of. I'm about to ask to delete this thread right now. I'm just looking for funny things mom's do that some other mom's might call "mean." whether you are AP or not, whether the one's calling you mean are AP or not.

awww, I hope I didn't upset you! I just meant I am super AP and crunchy, but I am a mean mama as well. People tell me all the time bc I am strict, I don't allow them to eat junk (for some reason that makes me mean in some people's eyes) don't put up with backtalk, don't let my kids just go out without knowing where they will be (the teens) and so on and so forth.

[CM6755]

I get what you are saying! I am a 'mean mommie' my friends tell me that often...I have two teen girls and a 3 1/2 DS and one due in Nov...I have rules that WILL be respected and followed.
I make my DS say sorry when he does something that he should apologize for (hitting, name calling, snatching a toy, etc...all very mild stuff but still needs to know about remorse and right and wrong) my friend says she read that we should never make our LO's say they are sorry...my thought...how do they learn when it's appropriate? I am not raising a BOY and TWO GIRLS...I am raising MEN AND WOMEN...I teach them accordingly. My son is taught to respect the girls bodies and privacy as well as his own and everyone is taught to/expected to respect rules, boundaries, feelings, etc. We are very lovey-dovey, we kiss and hug and say positive things to each other all of the time, I am a BIG believer in +reinforcement but do give time-outs as needed (yes, even for the teens, they go sit at the dining room table...if they storm off...they can practice exiting until it's acceptable behavior...period...they slam their bedroom door...they lose it....I am fully capable of doing this on my own and they are fully aware that I will do it in a instant...no games. We love each other very much and we know how to respect each other and value each other as well as friends, coworkers, acquaintances, extended family, etc. We co-sleep with my DS (he has his own room too) and the girls share a room (we have two extra bedrooms so they could have their own rooms but choose not to...they are 17&16 BTW). I plan on BF, Baby Wearing, Co-sleeping, and LOVING my kids WHILE teaching them how to behave as a decent human being, and knowing how to be great MEN AND WOMEN! It is our job/responsibility as parents to guide and teach our kids how to be children as well as grown ups! I am not perfect, or an angel, I have said my fair share of bad words and exhibited poor behavior in front of my kids when I lost my cool...I don't regret it though...it allowed me an opportunity to talk to them about what to do when it happens to them...they also know that Mommy isn't perfect and has to apologize sometimes too...I think it's great and healthy!

[mommabritt]

Lol I may be a mean mama then. I tell my kids they may come off of their bed (which is where they do time out/calm down) when they are ready to talk nicely/play calmly/turn on their listening ears. That may be 2 minutes and it may be an hour. Anyhow, they never stay there all day .

I'm really bad at keeping up with ongoing convos here tho so I may disappear.

[knodceo]

You might be mean mom if you tell your child they can't come out their room until they put on a pretty face because they are being ugly...


You might be a mean momma if you hope for natural consequences so you can say I told you so...and hope you never have to tell them to stop doing x again.

[Leanbh]

I was at a Party yesterday(seriously the worst and most boring party of my entire life - nobody was allowed in the house and it was 95 F, I left after 3 hours as I'd had enough or being polite!)


Anyhoo, I'm 100% sure people thought I was the mean mommy to my older two. Not entirely their fault as there was nothing much to do and they had to stay on the teeny front lawn for 3 hours. Of course got into trouble with their similar age cousins. Cousins parents were not their, so it was constantly(4/5 times) me telling my two kids not to do that or I gave them a time out under a tree at one point.

I just won't tolerate them misbehaving, regardless of what the other people thought. I dunno, maybe they thought I WAS doing the right thing. Just a funny situation as the other kids were not getting in trouble as nobody was watching them.


So I guess I'm mean for making my kids do time out at a party for basically running into a car(trying to park) and scaring the bj's out of the driver. Yep, they were embarressed, but I didn't really care....

[danner]

I consider myself an AP mama, but you bet your rear end that if my 4 year old is being a little wretch and not going in the house when I've asked nicely I will grab her wrist and make it happen. I don't like game playing nonsense. Judge away, DS mamas and neighbors!