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Old 07-22-2012, 10:27 AM   #11
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Re: How do you deal with gender dissapointment?

I was really crushed when I found out I was having a girl instead of a boy. My whole life i'd imagined a boy.

I'm very glad I found out in an ultrasound so I had time to process it and change how I felt about it. It was really a struggle though.

Several years later (maybe when she was in early elementary) I realized that she was exactly the person I needed in my life... A boy would not have fit in with my personality as well as a girl.

I am not a sports mom anyway.. I can't even unfold those lawn chairs. But, I fell in love with being a dance mom.

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Old 07-22-2012, 10:36 AM   #12
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Having been told all through my 2nd pregnancy I was having a 2nd girl and then ending up with a surprise boy, I had gender disappointment in a major way. I really did feel like I was grieving the loss of a baby. And in a way I was. She had a name. She had a personality. She had clothes and blankets and gear. And then she didn't exist and I was holding him instead. DH and my MiL did not understand. I think they still don't.

We had initially said that if #2 was a boy we would stop with 1 of each, or if #2 was a girl we would wait 3 years & try one more time for a boy. So when he was born, DH said we are done. But I'm not. I had my heart set on 2 little girls and all the pink frilly things that entails. I still want another baby girl.

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Old 07-22-2012, 10:43 AM   #13
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Oh my dear, I am in your shoes. Well I was & my DS3 is 8 months old. I cried at the ultrasound & my husband made me feel like a terrible mom so I cried more. He doesn't get it as he has a daughter from his first marriage.

As for how I got over it, I didn't really except accept that I am the mom of all boys. No girls to compete for me being their only gal. That's all I got. I hope you find peace with this. I am still working on complete acceptance.

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Old 07-22-2012, 10:44 AM   #14
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It's weird. I always wanted boys. Never 'wanted' a girl. Knew this one was a boy. Not shocked to hear I was right. Even might go as far as to say I was/am thrilled. Took sooooooo long to get him, I just want HIM. But lately, I realize I won't have a daughter. And I think my DH's sadness over that makes it harder on me. A son marries a wife but a daughter is for life. Right? Lol.

I talk to my mom daily. Idk any grown men who do that, that aren't severally pissing off their wives. Lol. Idk. It is a different family dynamic too. Girls ARE different than boys. We often have them here, for awhile and it's a different vibe. For sure. We may or may not have a 4th. We are undecided. We certainly are aware that more than likely, he'd be a he. Lol
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:45 AM   #15
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Re: How do you deal with gender dissapointment?

Sorry you are going through those feelings. MIL had the same thing, she has 2 boys and no girls. But now she has 2 granddaughters and I think it has helped fill that void a bit from what she has said, so maybe when your boys have children you will have a granddaughter and can enjoy spending those girly moments with them
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:55 AM   #16
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Re: How do you deal with gender dissapointment?

You are definitely not alone. I actually got my tubes tied because I didn't want to go through it again.
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:26 AM   #17
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I am glad to see a thread on this. Mu middle is a boy, i always wanted two girls. I still struggle with it regularly especially since he is my more difficult child. While i have no advice to offer i wanted to send some hugs and support your way.
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Old 07-22-2012, 11:30 AM   #18
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You definitely aren't alone. We have two boys and I was very disappointed when we found out DS2 was a boy. I wanted a girl soooo bad. I cried at the ultrasound. On top of that I felt so guilty and selfish about being disappointed. We are going to start TTC #3 next month (our last, 100% sure it's our last) and I'm already nervous about going through that again.

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Old 07-22-2012, 11:55 AM   #19
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I can't tell you how much better you all have made me feel! DS2 is a total momma's boy muffin <3 and I am happy that I at least tried for that girl. I have tons of love to give DS3 it just slaps me hard sometimes that this was the last shot. Huge hugs to all of you!! I pray for sweet granddaughters <3 <3!!!
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Old 07-22-2012, 12:07 PM   #20
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Personally I hate my mom. I don't hate things or people either. But her-I hate. I got 2 boys an was thrilled but when I (surprise) got pregnant again I just knew it'd be a girl and I was kinda disappointed. I think I'm he odd one out with not wanting a girl. I was just so afrai of having a girl. I'm fine now but it took a few months. The way I reconciled it was that-since this is ourlast-if I really have strong feelings about havin another of either gender there's always adoption. Sorry I can't be more help. But it is totally normal-so no worries there!
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