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Old 07-25-2012, 09:43 PM   #21
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

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mia-I'm an "tivist" too!
Yay!

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Old 07-26-2012, 09:05 AM   #22
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I would just be honest. My kids have seen DH pee a lot and have never said anything
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Old 07-26-2012, 04:35 PM   #23
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

My son has never said anything about DH (DH is circed, our boys are not) but he knows the difference between circed and uncirced. The book Its Not the Stork shows a drawing of circed and uncirced. DS1 says, pointing to the drawings, "This penis has a foreskin and this one does not. This is what my penis looks like (intact). Some boys look like this (circed), because their parents have their foreskins cut off when they are born, and that is just wrong!". He is 5. He has never asked why DH is circed, or even pointed out that he is, and it isn't for lack of seeing it because the boys shower with him occasionally. I think there are enough differences (size, hair, etc) that it isn't as obvious to a 5-year-old because his looks so different anyway. If he does ask, we will tell him the truth - when Daddy was born people thought it was better, now we know how harmful it is.

FWIW, my father is circed, his father was circed as an adult because of recurring infections. My brother's pedi told my parents, by the grace of God, in 1980, that "circumcision is extremely painful and completely unnecessary" and so my parents left my brother intact. They never discussed it growing up but did ask when we had DS1 and were so relieved that we would never do that to our sons. I assumed, until that conversation, that they were too poor to afford it or something, it never occurred to me that, given the general practice at the time (to cut boys), that anyone in the medical community would speak out against it. My brother is so thankful that his doctor did!
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Old 07-26-2012, 07:50 PM   #24
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

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My son has never said anything about DH (DH is circed, our boys are not) but he knows the difference between circed and uncirced. The book Its Not the Stork shows a drawing of circed and uncirced. DS1 says, pointing to the drawings, "This penis has a foreskin and this one does not. This is what my penis looks like (intact). Some boys look like this (circed), because their parents have their foreskins cut off when they are born, and that is just wrong!". He is 5. He has never asked why DH is circed, or even pointed out that he is, and it isn't for lack of seeing it because the boys shower with him occasionally. I think there are enough differences (size, hair, etc) that it isn't as obvious to a 5-year-old because his looks so different anyway. If he does ask, we will tell him the truth - when Daddy was born people thought it was better, now we know how harmful it is.

FWIW, my father is circed, his father was circed as an adult because of recurring infections. My brother's pedi told my parents, by the grace of God, in 1980, that "circumcision is extremely painful and completely unnecessary" and so my parents left my brother intact. They never discussed it growing up but did ask when we had DS1 and were so relieved that we would never do that to our sons. I assumed, until that conversation, that they were too poor to afford it or something, it never occurred to me that, given the general practice at the time (to cut boys), that anyone in the medical community would speak out against it. My brother is so thankful that his doctor did!
Wonderful story, so refreshing to hear about our parents' generation being on the same page as ours, rather than starting a family fight over current circ knowledge. FWIW, my MIL is an intactivist herself, from the 1980s, too. As the odd one out at the time, she tells everyone, she asked, "Why, what's wrong with it? ...then WHY would I cut it OFF?!" Haha! She has a very strong personality.
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Old 07-26-2012, 07:53 PM   #25
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

DDC -

We have 3 intact boys and my DH is circ'ed. None of the boys have ever asked why daddy looks different.
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Old 07-26-2012, 08:01 PM   #26
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

Another DDC. When my older boys noticed my youngest was intact, I just told them that the doctors didn't recommend the surgery anymore. That was good enough for them. And, they have no idea what their dad's penis looks like.
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Old 07-30-2012, 12:20 PM   #27
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

My husband is circ'd and both boys are intact. Haven't needed to explain it. But I'd just explain that husband's parents circ'd for whatever reason they did it (it was considered "routine" at the time or for religious reasons, etc.). I don't even know why my husband is circ'd. His mom came from a Jewish family and I suspect that could have something to do with it? He's also the first boy in his family and the first US born, so it could be just the fact that the US docs recommended it. I can't imagine it coming up till they are much bigger and they are more, uh, comparable? lol. My boys are almost 3 and almost 5 right now. They have been way more interested in why *I* was different.
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Old 07-30-2012, 12:25 PM   #28
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

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Wonderful story, so refreshing to hear about our parents' generation being on the same page as ours, rather than starting a family fight over current circ knowledge. FWIW, my MIL is an intactivist herself, from the 1980s, too. As the odd one out at the time, she tells everyone, she asked, "Why, what's wrong with it? ...then WHY would I cut it OFF?!" Haha! She has a very strong personality.
My brother is circ'd, but he never even thought about circing his 3 boys. I actually had to ask him, as an adult if he was circ'd because I'm kind of shocked my parents would circ him. I think it was before their mega hippy days. Other than my brother, all my nephews (of which I have MANY) are all intact, it never even occurred to me to circ my kids. All the boys on my husband's side are circ'd. I'm always happy when I find they are having a girl instead of a boy.
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Old 08-01-2012, 07:37 PM   #29
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Re: Cric'd DH and intact DS

DDC! sorry

DS is 4.5 and still bathes with his dad regularly and has never once asked why they are different. I know that if he had noticed he would say something! he has told me how much he loves his foreskin though
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