How do YOU deal with defiance? My 5.5 y/o...

[ktmelody]

I ignore it. Soon as it starts I get up and leave the room and give positive attention to my other kids. Works pretty good. The only negative behavior we deal with now is from my 2.5 year old who is on the spectrum. My oldest has a nasty streak and I just tell her to do what is asked and dont make remarks to her or she keeps egging it on.

[HugeBabyBoy]

Our 2.5yo DD, can be this way at times. She is warned and if she continues it's a choice a) time out or b) she's asked to go sit down, so we can talk about it. If she chooses b) we talk about it and use it as a teaching moment and then redirect.

God bless her, she's very good at saying "I'm not happy right now!" so we try and explain it to her, and help her understand expectations...

"You have to wait while "x". I know it's hard to understand and makes you sad/upset/unhappy, but sometimes we have to wait; it's called patience. Can you wait 5 minutes and then we'll do "x"? Can you help me do ___ now?"
"Okay, Mommy." *hugs all around*

It works. Her feelings are addressed and peace is restored.

[luvsviola]

Originally Posted by jac1976 In my house, my children would have gone up to their room the minute they started to scream and protest. I let them know that it is okay to be upset about not getting what they want, but that the behavior (screaming, yelling) is not okay and must be done in private.

This is what happens at our house too.

[TwinKristi]

I have one who's a tantrum thrower and i put him on his bed. I used to let him decide when he was ready but now *i* decide or he comes off still whiney and sniveling and ends up going back.

[TS8213]

In the same boat with my 5.5 yr old son. When he talks back or gets mouthy he gets a tsp dipped in black pepper in his mouth (got that idea from another DS mama). For tantrums or arguing he gets an immediate 5 minute timeout. If he stalls going to timeout, 5 add'l mins....argues, 5 more mins...etc. He's taken quite a few 45 min timeouts this week but it has cut back on his actions. I've found that consistency is really the key.

Hang in there!

[Leighleighbuggy]

My oldest son has major tantrums sometimes. They don't happen very often, but when they do they are awful. He has to go sit in his room until he calms down. Sometimes he is in their 10 minutes and sometimes an hour. Sometimes he plays quietly or falls asleep and sometimes he comes right out. In the past he has kicked the door, took all the sheets off his bed, etc. out of anger, and if he does that, he loses his positive behaivor sticker for the day. We coordinate chores/behaivor with allowance here, so it hurts him pretty hard because he loves allowance day LOL.