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Old 07-27-2012, 04:09 PM   #1
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CLINGY FUSSY 3rd baby

Ok so I have a 4 year old a 2 year old and a 10 month old. My 10 month old is fine if I am holding her or sitting right with her but the moment I leave the room or even if I go to the other end of the room she freaks!! This is a typical day, she wakes at 5am, she nurses then just lays/crawls/plays in our bed till 6 or 7, then we all get up and she screams, I put her in the high chair while I get breakfast she screams, I feed her oatmeal and yogurt and she is OK while eating but the minute I move away she screams (mind you the other 2 kids are sitting right there!) So we finish breakfast change diapers and I put her on the floor with some toys to clean up and she screams!! I try to lay her in the crib (maybe she is tired) 20 minutes she screams, I get her and she is fine, I put her down and she screams, I lay her down and she screams again for 20 minutes. If we are in a store she is fine because she is in the cart and can see me, but any time I am away from her she freaks. I wear her sometimes but I want her to explore and be independent and play with her siblings. On my back she will pull my hair and wiggle and squirm and sometimes fuss there too. I've tried blowing in her face to startle her and maybe redirect her but nope she just gets more pissed. I feel bad because she is almost always miserable unless I am holding her. I know she is little and snuggly and she is my last but sometimes I need to get things done. She is also at the point, I know my fault, but she will not nap unless I lay with her. I started that because she could sit up but not lay down so I would go into our room and lay with her. Any suggestions?? Please help~!! It just raises my bloodpressure and I am snapping at the other kids because the screaming is killing me and I know that is not fair

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Old 07-27-2012, 04:53 PM   #2
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Re: CLINGY FUSSY 3rd baby

Oh, that was like my first. She had to be entertained constantly, from about 2-3 weeks of age on, or she screamed. I took her to Alzheimer's Day Care Unit every week, and let the grannies all fuss over her, just so I could enjoy a cup of coffee while I watched someone else play with her. She is 15 now and very mellow, easy teen.

Can the four year old help entertain her? I had the most success paying a little girl, about 8 years old, $1/hr just to come over and play with her, so I could get some housework done. I remember to this day, her name was Elizabeth, and she was the only way I ever managed to mop the floor or make dinner for a period of months.
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Old 07-27-2012, 05:35 PM   #3
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Re: CLINGY FUSSY 3rd baby

I would LOVE it if she were entertained by anyone but me, my 4 year old tries to read to her or give her toys etc but she just throws a FIT. I feel a little guilty because I am not on the floor with her playing but seriously I need to run a household, take care of a dog and 2 other kids, I can't be 1 on 1 with her. I am just hoping it's a phase. Other people can hold her and she is sometimes ok but for the most part she only wants me if I am in the room.
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Old 07-27-2012, 07:09 PM   #4
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Re: CLINGY FUSSY 3rd baby

are you telling her you'll be back and where you're going?

around 9months, that separation anxiety sets in good and that's the advice I've seen for that. Do lots of 'mommy is going to the kitchen, I'll be back' and then when you come back say 'I'm back from the kitchen', etc. Seems silly, I know.. but............. she should get used to it.

I would also want to know if she's teething? That can make for extra fussiness.

My DD was similar, but I had only 1, so it's easier with 1.

when I needed to not be holding her or if she was very upset, I'd sing to her, it always calmed her down. We had our regular songs that I'd have to sing in order to take a shower, wash dishes, etc.

Otherwise, this might not be popular, but I'd probably just let her fuss a bit. If you're nearby and smiling at her and singing or whatever, then you're doing what you can.

It might help to take some Omega3 vitamins. They seemed to calm me when I was feeling overwhelmed and crabby. Or carry a flask if that suits you more teasing, of course.

is she mobile? Things always get easier when they get mobile. You know, right before they get harder again.
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Old 07-27-2012, 07:45 PM   #5
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Re: CLINGY FUSSY 3rd baby

Quote:
Originally Posted by kochmm View Post
I would LOVE it if she were entertained by anyone but me, my 4 year old tries to read to her or give her toys etc but she just throws a FIT. I feel a little guilty because I am not on the floor with her playing but seriously I need to run a household, take care of a dog and 2 other kids, I can't be 1 on 1 with her. I am just hoping it's a phase. Other people can hold her and she is sometimes ok but for the most part she only wants me if I am in the room.
Also had some success at about that age doing some chores with her riding around in the back pack. Have you tried that yet?
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Old 07-27-2012, 08:08 PM   #6
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Re: CLINGY FUSSY 3rd baby

good ideas so far. another thing to consider is that if all her needs are met and you have to put her down, that is okay. its important that she gets floor time at this age and its important that you do what you need to do to keep your sanity.....tidy up the house, pay attention to the other kids, take a shower on occasion seriously though, i just wanted to pop in and tell you that if baby wearing and such are not options that work on a constant basis, your child will be just fine with a little push towards independence. I just would hate you to feel like the only option is to hold her 24/7. that is very exhausting and really not realistic when you have to divide resources between 3 kids.
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