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Old 07-29-2012, 03:16 PM   #1
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How to handle going from 1 to 2.

My son just turned 10 months and will be 12 months when his sister gets here. Honestly, I'm terrified and clueless about how to handle the transition from one to two. Worse yet, no one has any helpful advice for me. Everyone has been saying to me for the last 8 month, "How will you handle 2?" "You will have your hands full!" What are you going to do with 2 so close in age?" etc....Needless to say, this has just made me MORE worried and feel LESS equip.

I was a nanny for many different kids, mostly special needs. It was not easy, but very worth it. As soon as I had my son I doubted ***everything*** I already instinctively knew about with him. I still do. Everything I learned with other people's kids went out of my mind and I just stress and worry over him constantly. I rarely had this problem with other people's kids. I knew what to do almost all the time and it was soo much easier. The other babies/kids were a lot harder also, but I took it in stride.

Now, with another on the way, my fear is in overdrive. How will I physically, emotionally, spiritually do it?

What do I do with my son when he starts crying and my daughter is breastfeeding? How do I divide myself? What things made it easier for you guys? What are some tricks? What are some at-home stress relievers?

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Old 07-29-2012, 03:22 PM   #2
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It actually isn't easy. You just do it.
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Old 07-29-2012, 03:25 PM   #3
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Can you tandem nurse? It might be the easiest part of your day.

That's the only suggestion I have for you...

Will you have help? How mobile is OLO?
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Old 07-29-2012, 03:28 PM   #4
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Re: How to handle going from 1 to 2.

Pray! I have dd 3 1/2, ds 12 mos and ds2 due on Friday. Anxiety has really been taking its toll recently. I've been asking for help from friends and family, trying to keep my sense of humor, and just hoping I'll survive the whole thing!
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Old 07-29-2012, 03:32 PM   #5
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Re: How to handle going from 1 to 2.

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Originally Posted by Mom2jandb View Post
Can you tandem nurse? It might be the easiest part of your day.
My son is on formula. I was never able to get him to latch and didn't have help or support.

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Originally Posted by Mom2jandb View Post
Will you have help?
Don't know.

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Originally Posted by Mom2jandb View Post
How mobile is OLO?
Very! Crawling, could be walking any day, but I'm almost 100% positive he is going to be diagnosed with ADHD when he gets older.
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Old 07-29-2012, 03:40 PM   #6
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You just figure it out... Promise.

Let me tell you that in the beginning, it might very well be very hard. However you will love it as they get a little older and it will be so easy!
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Old 07-29-2012, 03:44 PM   #7
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I don't have two, BUT if I am watching my neighbors 4 week old, we go to DS's room to eat in the rocker. I put toys out for ds and lock the door, so I know there's NOTHING he can get into. That helps. If he cries, he cries. If he's hurt, I help him out, and then resume feeding. The worst that can happen is a temporary scream fest, KWIM?
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Old 07-29-2012, 03:50 PM   #8
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My kids weren't as close as yours, they were 22 months apart, but it wasn't super crazy difficult actually.

I tandem nursed, which helped a lot for me. Both kids nursed to sleep at the same time for naps & bed, so that was a huge stress reliever. I slept whenever they did.

DD cried a lot the first three months or so, but that was just her personality, so there wasn't much we could do about it. We learned to not let it upset us when she was crying & we couldn't console her.

We were living in the master bedroom at my mom's house at the time, so I didn't have to worry about cleaning very much, that helped too. I did keep up with cooking & shopping, but again, I had family around to help.

Now from 2 to 3 was harder, since we live in a 3 bedroom 2 bath apartment with no family around. I had to seriously lower my expectations with housework & what not. Whatever I was able to get done in one day (cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming, etc) I had to expect that I would now need at least a week to get it done.

I prepared a ton of freezer meals ahead of time. We actually bought a small chest freezer & I literally filled it with meals & muffins & whatever else I could think of. I made detailed menus & shopping lists for DH & he handled heating up dinner & grocery shopping. We share a car, so that made it easy for me to stay home all day & just enjoy my new baby & big kids without worrying about getting errands done. DH did them all.

So I would suggest preparing things as much as possible now, cook, clean, organize your home, etc & that will help a lot on the days that you feel overwhelmed. You can also begin to teach your little one to entertain himself, that will help too!

Good luck mama!
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Old 07-29-2012, 03:51 PM   #9
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Don't forget babywearing! I have a 3 wk old and a 2 year old. I am learning to nurse in a ring sling and that is helping. During other times I put on a movie for DS and keep lots of snacks on hands and when the newborn is not eating I give DS as much attention as I can. We also got some toys for DS he can spend lots of time playing with. I wear the baby so I can take DS outside to play. My mom told me that the oldest will just learn to need you less. He will mature and grow more independent. Good luck.
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Old 07-29-2012, 04:57 PM   #10
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Yes, babywearing!! Also, "locking" yourself in a room is a great idea too. I would do that in the playroom when I nursed my little one. Older one would play and I could see him and didn't have to chase him anywhere.
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