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Old 07-29-2012, 02:45 PM   #1
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Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

I am currently battling the "Mine" with two of my four. They fight all the time and take toys from each other. I refuse to buy four of the same thing and even if I did they would probably fight anyways. Any suggestions on what to do when they fight over a toy. I want them to learn to share and taking the toy away isn't working. They just find another one to fight over.

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Old 07-29-2012, 03:03 PM   #2
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Re: Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

Ahhh welcome to my everyday.... I hope someone can chime in,I have no energy left to entertain this "mine" and not sharing thing.... Im spun!
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Old 07-29-2012, 08:00 PM   #3
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Re: Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

I think it's just going to take time for them to learn. But, what I do with my twins is if I know who had it first, I give it to that child. I take the other one and we go find something else together. If I don't know who had it, I take it away and make them both find something else. I know it's frustrating. I'm sorry you are dealing with it. At least it's only 2 of them so far.

ETA - We do have another mom of Quads on here. Her's are around 2.5 or 3 also. She'll probably chime in.
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Old 07-30-2012, 11:23 AM   #4
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Re: Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

It is normal. It will drive you nuts. It will pass.
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Old 07-30-2012, 07:55 PM   #5
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Re: Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

I put the toys they're fighting over in "time out" up on a shelf for a good amount of time (at least 15 minutes). Typically this gets them to cool down and they figure out quit that if they don't start sharing, they run out of toys.
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Old 07-30-2012, 08:03 PM   #6
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I do a "training" session and have with all my children. It became a part of our daily routine. Since a child isn't born knowing what it is to share they must be taught so I lay a small blanket on the floor and put 2 children on each blanket with 4-5 desirable toys/books then sit beside the blankets with a timer. Each child picks one toy then gets to play with that toy(on the blanket) for 60sec. The timer goes off and the children must swap toys. It can be trying at first but eventually(and not talking a day or two more like a week or two) it will become easier my children learned to love "blanket time" and also started getting along consistently every day! I'm not sure how much harder it will be to do with 2yr olds since we begin training/teaching our children a bit earlier but consistency conquers many things so te best to you
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Old 07-30-2012, 08:17 PM   #7
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Re: Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

Yes this is just a stage. My twins don't just fight over the toy one of the girls hits the other one with the toy until she cries. If I know who had it first I give it back and tell the first one, "She had it first, when she is finished you can play with it." If they are just fighting over it with no end I take the toy away and tell them that Mama will play with it until they can be nice.
I do not like forcing children to "share" meaning, "you have that but I want it so hand it over." Instead we reinforce taking turns, I ask the girl with the toy that when she is finished she let's her sister play with it.
I never buy two of the same of anything, they only want the toy that the other one has in her hands. I think the main point I am getting at is pick a philosophy about sharing / turn taking then decide how to respond and have EVERYONE respond the same way. My hubby, their grandparents and their nanny all do my same response.
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Old 07-30-2012, 09:24 PM   #8
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Re: Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by twinpossible View Post
Yes this is just a stage. My twins don't just fight over the toy one of the girls hits the other one with the toy until she cries. If I know who had it first I give it back and tell the first one, "She had it first, when she is finished you can play with it." If they are just fighting over it with no end I take the toy away and tell them that Mama will play with it until they can be nice.
I do not like forcing children to "share" meaning, "you have that but I want it so hand it over." Instead we reinforce taking turns, I ask the girl with the toy that when she is finished she let's her sister play with it.
I never buy two of the same of anything, they only want the toy that the other one has in her hands. I think the main point I am getting at is pick a philosophy about sharing / turn taking then decide how to respond and have EVERYONE respond the same way. My hubby, their grandparents and their nanny all do my same response.
This is what we do too. I think "sharing" is too vague of a concept for 2 yr olds to understand. We've also taught them the art of the trade. If they want something that someone else has they have to give a toy up. And I have them give out snacks to each other so they get used to the give and take, thank-yous and your welcomes. And sometimes I just turn up the music so I can't hear the screaming Good luck!
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Old 07-31-2012, 10:19 PM   #9
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Re: Mom of 2 y/o Quadruplets- fighting all the time.

I just got the Siblings Without Rivalry book. I'm about 40 pages in, and so far, I like what I have read. I got it from my local library. It is by the "How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen" people.
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