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Old 07-30-2012, 08:49 PM   #41
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

I personally love dress codes. When my girls went to catholic school they wore navy or khaki bottoms and collared blouse or polo shirts. The tops could be any color, any print but no wording. I absolutely loved it, they had room for creativity but the kids all looked decent. Now they are going to go to a Lutheran school and while they have a dress code, it isn't as strict. I'm kind of bummed. Anyways, while I feel bad for you I think I would have checked the website before getting anything. Kind of like I wouldn't buy school supplies without a specific list, kwim? It sucks, but I think you'll just have to deal with it. Hopefully you can sell some of the stuff you don't need. I do think a sock dress code is a tad ridiculous, geesh!

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Old 07-30-2012, 09:39 PM   #42
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

To the OP--Didn't your son visit the middle school at some point near the end of last year? Our school brings in every elementary 6th grader. Didn't he notice that the kids were all in uniform????
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Old 07-30-2012, 10:02 PM   #43
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

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I forget I am in the boonies and everyone wears walmart as there is not much else around here.
But if they are making fun of the brands on the uniforms, imagine how much more room there would be to make fun of a whole wardrobe.
At least with a uniform it is cheaper to buy a few nicer name brands than to have to buy a whole wardrobe of them.
It is crazy how cruel kids are
I will tell you the single year my son was in charter school it cost me far more to buy clothes for him than any other year ever. Now this is probably at least partially because I typically buy my kids thrift store and other second hand clothes and my kids are far from picky at all (my youngest loves tie dye and Hello Kitty and my oldest likes Star Wars and penguins). It is super cheap for me to buy them clothes typically and when I homeschool I don't worry about what I buy them. If they went to most of the local elementary schools they would wear plain t-shirts (so long as there are no offensive slogans) and shorts or long pants. Just a pretty relaxed dress code typical for most places. It really just bans spaghetti straps, crazy hair colors, offensive words on clothes, and saggy pants in the elementary grades. But in the Charter school the dress code was super strict and required 3 button polos and khaki pants or shorts. 3 button polos are super hard to find and are not the type you can pick up at Walmart cheap. These are the expensive kind made by Tony Hawk or Izod. They could be any solid color or stripes but they cost more than 3 times what I would normally spend even if I bought all new t-shirts and long sleeved shirts for him (and I normally would buy second hand so it really hurt). Then there were the khakis. Khaki pants on a kindergartner is a recipe for disaster. He went through several pairs of pants and shorts either by staining them so badly they wouldn't come clean or by putting holes in the knees, and he is the type of child who doesn't play rough or get dirty. They just had the kids on the playground twice a day every day so this was no surprise. Essentially I had to buy pants twice that year. On top of all of that I still had to buy "play clothes" so he wouldn't wear out his school clothes after school and over the weekends. It was a very expensive year. I am thrilled to have him back home and if I ever sent him to school again and had a choice between a school with a super strict dress code and a school with a liberal dress code I would go with the liberal dress code for many reasons.
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:15 PM   #44
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

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Okay sorry, rant over. OP I agree that you should have been informed via mail, email, or phone call well in advance to the start of the school year about the changes to the dress code. I'm sorry you were not.
Yes, sorry this is such a pain. DS's school had a dress code (khaki or navy bottoms, solid color polo shirts) all the way through elementary school, but for high school it is an actual uniform. I absolutely hate it. To get him started last year was over $400, and that was after a friend whose son had graduated handed down 5 shirts. This year, fortunately, we've only had to buy pants. But they're still $30 per pair.

I can tell you, though, that the dress restrictions reflect teenage attitudes. The more often the kids flaunt the dress rules, the more strict they'll get. When I went to highschool, the code was no blue jeans. Kids would actually go buy bottles of RIT dye to change the color of the jeans.

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Old 07-31-2012, 01:42 PM   #45
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

I think when dress codes start to interfere with a parents ability to feed their kids it is time for the rich school staff to pay for it themselves. Oh wait wasn't there a thread about teachers not getting paid enough. News flash most of us don't get paid enough. OP mentioned choosing between buying yet more clothing and feeding her kids. That is a problem. Her kid can either choose to eat or get an education. Nice choice.
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:49 PM   #46
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

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It doesn't matter. They will make fun of your hair, your nose, your weight, whatever. I personally don't like uniforms and think it solves nothing, just takes away from creativity and self expression.

Reading through the responses, I see my view may not be popular. I also think it is harder for families financially because I know we used to not make much $ and I was so happy for Garage sales where I could get my kids cute clothes for not much money.
I didn't like uniforms for similar reason. You spend so much of your life needing to conform to what society thinks is appropriate business attire or having to wear a uniform for work, why not let kids wear kid clothes. I also didn't like having to essentially buy two full wardrobes. It cost me not just twice the money but more than triple because the super strict dress code was so limiting on where I could buy clothes for my child and still conform to dress code. Home schooling makes life so much simpler and it isn't like my kids are running around dressed like nasty little hooligans (ok maybe Tharen is a little, or at least a hippy).
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Old 07-31-2012, 03:55 PM   #47
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

Charise, I would be frustrated as well! I don't know exactly how I would handle it, but I would try to get the administration's attention and communicate to them that you didn't receive any information on the new to you dress code. I would tell them how you happened to find out about it after you had done your school shopping. I would ask them if there was some handout that they had sent home in a packet somewhere along the line that you had missed. When they say there wasn't one, ask them point blank how they were planning on communicating it to parents of new students and how they are going to do it in the future. Make it about informing them of a communication problem and wanting to fix it so that you CAN play by their rules. Basically tell them that you are just dying to play nice, but need some help knowing what the rules are! Put it on them without actually blaming them.

I know you aren't fond of it, but I also know that if you had been given a heads up, you it wouldn't have been a big deal.

Our school system is set up a little differently. Elementary is K-2 and Intermediate is 3-5. At the end of 2nd grade, the elementary kids go on a field trip to the intermediate school. Part of that field trip involves a "fashion show" put on by the 3rd grade that shows the dress code differences. It's a little stricter for the older kids.
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Old 07-31-2012, 06:06 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iris0110

I will tell you the single year my son was in charter school it cost me far more to buy clothes for him than any other year ever. Now this is probably at least partially because I typically buy my kids thrift store and other second hand clothes and my kids are far from picky at all (my youngest loves tie dye and Hello Kitty and my oldest likes Star Wars and penguins). It is super cheap for me to buy them clothes typically and when I homeschool I don't worry about what I buy them. If they went to most of the local elementary schools they would wear plain t-shirts (so long as there are no offensive slogans) and shorts or long pants. Just a pretty relaxed dress code typical for most places. It really just bans spaghetti straps, crazy hair colors, offensive words on clothes, and saggy pants in the elementary grades. But in the Charter school the dress code was super strict and required 3 button polos and khaki pants or shorts. 3 button polos are super hard to find and are not the type you can pick up at Walmart cheap. These are the expensive kind made by Tony Hawk or Izod. They could be any solid color or stripes but they cost more than 3 times what I would normally spend even if I bought all new t-shirts and long sleeved shirts for him (and I normally would buy second hand so it really hurt). Then there were the khakis. Khaki pants on a kindergartner is a recipe for disaster. He went through several pairs of pants and shorts either by staining them so badly they wouldn't come clean or by putting holes in the knees, and he is the type of child who doesn't play rough or get dirty. They just had the kids on the playground twice a day every day so this was no surprise. Essentially I had to buy pants twice that year. On top of all of that I still had to buy "play clothes" so he wouldn't wear out his school clothes after school and over the weekends. It was a very expensive year. I am thrilled to have him back home and if I ever sent him to school again and had a choice between a school with a super strict dress code and a school with a liberal dress code I would go with the liberal dress code for many reasons.
Wow they were picky! At the end of this school year, the shirts were on clearance at Walmart for $3 and the shorts were on sale for $4.so not including shoes, I have spent a whopping $45 on school clothes so far. I will need to buy him pants when it gets cooler, but the kind he like are only $10-$15 and I will buy 5 pairs.
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Old 08-04-2012, 10:54 AM   #49
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days I forgot and had things come up like we will most likely be moving in a few months so that makes this cost suck more.

That said we have managed to get some free shorts he can were was one shirt that fits the uniform policy. And they where free.

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I am such a meanie I wouldn't buy it if they didn't tell ya. Let them try and send my DD to ISS for that, without being told! Come on! Though my attitude towards schools stink right now. After the hell I went through last year I am so over it. If DD doesn't get into the district I want, I will just cry.
I thought about it for the first day only but at the end of the day it isn't right and not teaching him what I want plus I don't want him in ISS for my hating the rules.
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I'm honestly not trying to be ugly, just coming at this from a teacher's/schools point of view. ETA: This is a topic that burns me up b/c it makes my job ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE.

If as kid has to sit in ISS b/c his parent, who is charged with teaching him to follow the rule of the school REFUSES to purchase him/acquire for him the appropriate attire that obeys the school rules, then maybe the parent will get so upset that the kid isn't getting to take advantage of his educational opportunities that the parent will choose to make the kid obey the rules.

It is SO INCREDIBLY HARD to teach middle and high school (I have done both) because parents think they are above the rules of the school. I'm sorry but if I told my boss I thought his dress code/other rules were stupid or I couldn't follow them for XYZ reason, I wouldn't have a job. Unfortunately, we can't kick kids out of school (easily) for not following the rules. They think if their mommy or daddy complains enough they will get away with what they want to get away with. And its working. Mommy complains, most schools give in (at least in my experience). The kids aren't learning any lessons and when they go out into the real world they're shocked that their complaints do not get them their way!!!

Okay sorry, rant over. OP I agree that you should have been informed via mail, email, or phone call well in advance to the start of the school year about the changes to the dress code. I'm sorry you were not. However, please accept these changes for what they are: the educators at your child's school doing everything they can to ensure that your kid has the best learning environment and every opportunity possibly to reach his full academic potential.
I am accepting them I still hate them but I am teaching my son that while I hate the rule and think it's dumb and it's a rule that must be followed like rules at home he hates. And we are following them.

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Originally Posted by Vivhop98 View Post
It doesn't matter. They will make fun of your hair, your nose, your weight, whatever. I personally don't like uniforms and think it solves nothing, just takes away from creativity and self expression.

Reading through the responses, I see my view may not be popular. I also think it is harder for families financially because I know we used to not make much $ and I was so happy for Garage sales where I could get my kids cute clothes for not much money.
Yeah it's a money thing if I had known I would have planned differently and it would be an issue for me while I would still disagree with the rule we would still follow it.

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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
Because it is not fair to the other 29 kids in the class who know how to follow the rules and aren't creating a disturbance by not following dress code.

Indianapolis Public Schools suspends kids after the second uniform violation and they can't come back til the parents meet with the administration. If you can't follow the rules, you can't come to school.
I still dissagree with it. How can a school expect me to follow a rule I have not been informed on? I have to dig through the website to find. I am slowly getting things from the school which starts in three weeks. Really do they expect to be able to mail home notices of the policy a week before school and have everyone drop everything and buy one of two colors you can for shirts which I don't know what Nolen blue looks like to buy so it's one color until I learn it.

Honestly if they didn't inform me and I got a call the first day of school I would have been pissed and raised a HUGE stink.
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Originally Posted by pumkinsmommy View Post
I agree with this 100%. OP they should have given more notice. Schools are trying to overcome so many problems that boil down to poor parenting that I think that they deserve support.
They should have. instead it's still no notice. Heck I had to long on to see when the first day of class was since we weren't told (normally it's on the last report card of the year but it wasn't this year)
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Originally Posted by luvsviola View Post
To the OP--Didn't your son visit the middle school at some point near the end of last year? Our school brings in every elementary 6th grader. Didn't he notice that the kids were all in uniform????
He did visit the school but doesn't remember seeing how the kids where dress, it didn't click that it was school policy he was paying attention to other things. and I still don't think that is what qualifies and telling that there is a dress code seeing how kids are dressed.
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Originally Posted by qsefthuko View Post
I think when dress codes start to interfere with a parents ability to feed their kids it is time for the rich school staff to pay for it themselves. Oh wait wasn't there a thread about teachers not getting paid enough. News flash most of us don't get paid enough. OP mentioned choosing between buying yet more clothing and feeding her kids. That is a problem. Her kid can either choose to eat or get an education. Nice choice.
Thanks, we did luck out and find some free uniforms for him the shorts are a little long but I think they will work. and one shirt he can us. they are from a different middle school with a different dress code and colors (in the school that we got them from he would have been able to wear red, navy, black, or white polos, and naky, khaki or black pants. His school is khaki or navy pants, and navy or nolan blue polos only) honestly I am dreading finding a belt next pay check it's probably going to cost as much as his shoes.

the polos he can't wear we are going to pass on to another family

Quote:
Originally Posted by iris0110 View Post
I didn't like uniforms for similar reason. You spend so much of your life needing to conform to what society thinks is appropriate business attire or having to wear a uniform for work, why not let kids wear kid clothes. I also didn't like having to essentially buy two full wardrobes. It cost me not just twice the money but more than triple because the super strict dress code was so limiting on where I could buy clothes for my child and still conform to dress code. Home schooling makes life so much simpler and it isn't like my kids are running around dressed like nasty little hooligans (ok maybe Tharen is a little, or at least a hippy).
Thing that kills me is we will be moving when the hubby is out of the army and we move to CT for him to go to school which I don't even know if I will have to buy more uniforms or not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
Charise, I would be frustrated as well! I don't know exactly how I would handle it, but I would try to get the administration's attention and communicate to them that you didn't receive any information on the new to you dress code. I would tell them how you happened to find out about it after you had done your school shopping. I would ask them if there was some handout that they had sent home in a packet somewhere along the line that you had missed. When they say there wasn't one, ask them point blank how they were planning on communicating it to parents of new students and how they are going to do it in the future. Make it about informing them of a communication problem and wanting to fix it so that you CAN play by their rules. Basically tell them that you are just dying to play nice, but need some help knowing what the rules are! Put it on them without actually blaming them.

I know you aren't fond of it, but I also know that if you had been given a heads up, you it wouldn't have been a big deal.

Our school system is set up a little differently. Elementary is K-2 and Intermediate is 3-5. At the end of 2nd grade, the elementary kids go on a field trip to the intermediate school. Part of that field trip involves a "fashion show" put on by the 3rd grade that shows the dress code differences. It's a little stricter for the older kids.
Thanks I will do this I have been meaning to call but frankly I have been ticked I wanted to be claim when I do it.

In the end things are working out and we will be fine. but dh is getting out sooner than we thought. and I would be lying if I didn't say that I thought one shirt and pants was enough and I would just wash them every day as to not buy more because we will be moving soon and it feels like a waste but I will buy at least two more. but I will still have to find plan sweaters and hoodies for the fall where the heck can I find a plan hoodie of decent quality that's navy (i have to read the rules on the pockets I am sure they have them)

So thanks for all the ideas. I still hate the rule but I will follow it I am going to call the school to find out the rules on watches since I want to get him one but I wanted to get his style of one. to make sure it's not going to be an issue.
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Old 08-04-2012, 01:13 PM   #50
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Re: Ticked at the middle school

I'm a middle school teacher, and have worked in 3 middle schools in 2 districts. We ALWAYS have parent orientation in May for the incoming parents to come and find out about the school. I'll bet they had one too. Did you attend?
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