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Old 12-18-2012, 05:30 AM   #1
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DH Leading the Family Testimonies

Hi Ladies,
I'm posting this on here because I know many of you believe in the husband being the head of the family and the wife being submissive (I also believe this). I was just wondering if you all could share instances when your DH took charge of a decision and maybe you were a bit iffy on your thoughts of it, but let him lead, and it turned out to be a major blessing.

My DH rarely has a strong opinion about an issue, but has made a decision about a situation in the last few days. I'm submitting (albeit with a scared, sad, and yet relieved and calm heart... don't you love how we can be a bundle of opposite emotions. haha). I would just love some encouragement about instances when you all did too and it turned out to be for the benefit of your families.

There have been a few times this has happened in our marriage (farm related) and me not getting my way has been SUCH a good thing in the end! I keep trying to think of my Dad and Mom too. Them moving across country was a big decision my Dad made and my Mom was not happy about, but submitted, and it was such an amazing thing for the family (and to her!). Totally God's plan for us. SO I keep trying to think of this stuff, but need more testimonies to replace the doubts in my brain, kwim?

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Old 12-18-2012, 05:53 AM   #2
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No story to share...but I'm in the same place...although I'm not comfortable with the decision dh wants to make. Looking forward to stories of success.
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Old 12-18-2012, 03:52 PM   #3
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Re: DH Leading the Family Testimonies

Hi there!

I can't offer you a story about my husband making a decision that I wasn't in agreement about because I don't believe in the being submissive wife and neither does DH but I do want you to take comfort in your DH deciding what he thinks is best because 1. I want to be supportive and 2. he has made good decisions in the past.

The fact he isn't usually big on deciding things for the family says he is thinking of what is going to be best, not being thoughtless. Take comfort in the things he's decided in the past and know things will work out well.

A few yrs ago we needed to find a house quick. We looked at one house, were sure we wanted it and put an offer on it. We were crushed to find out we didn't get it, so so disappointed. Guess what? A couple weeks later we found a better home and we are so glad we ended up here instead of the 1st house. The point of this story is sometimes we think we know best but things work out differently and we are very happy w/ the way they worked out.

Best wishes and hoping everything works out.
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Old 12-21-2012, 12:51 PM   #4
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Re: DH Leading the Family Testimonies

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Originally Posted by Holly dolly View Post
No story to share...but I'm in the same place...although I'm not comfortable with the decision dh wants to make. Looking forward to stories of success.
((hugs)). I have been talking to some of my friends IRL and have been so blessed by their stories. I am not super comfortable with DH's decision, but feel like God is leading Him as the leader of our family and that maybe I am not getting direction because it isn't me who should be making the call. KWIM? DH is so certain that this is the right thing for our family and I am really thinking he is so certain because it's the Holy Spirit speaking to his heart. When I look at it from that view, I feel more calm and at peace and pray that down the road God will help me feel completely so. So many of my friends were telling me about how they were so blessed by submitting even in difficult circumstances, even if it was years down the road (whether it was a job change or a move or family-size). So I keep that in mind when I start feeling anxious or start second-guessing inwardly.

And I know that DH tries his best to make decisions that benefit our family and that he looks to God for guidance. That helps!

Thank you for the kind words, R055ANA. You are right on about DH!
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Old 12-23-2012, 12:54 PM   #5
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Re: DH Leading the Family Testimonies

I have a story I can share. This is about 8/9 years back. We were moving to a new area and buying a new house. We saw one and I wasn't thrilled with it, especially with the neighborhood. He felt it would be a good investment and we were wanting to be in real estate investing as well. At his leading, we bought that house. I still wasn't thrilled with it. My husband knew I wasn't happy with it. So, within a few months, he had found us a new construction house that would be done about 9 months or so later. It would mean moving from the house (which was also new construction) that I didn't want about a year after moving in. The mortgage would be significantly higher. Again, I wasn't so sure even though I loved the house he found. At his leading, we wrote a contract on it. (I wasn't as apprehensive about this house because I loved it so much more.) I wanted to sell the first house because I never wanted it to begin with. He wanted to rent it out, which was always the intention whenever we would have moved out. So, we rented out the first house and moved to the second. A couple of years later, we had to move again, to a different area. We sold the second house because it wouldn't have rented for enough to justify keeping it. Even though I was hesitant to buy this house in the first place, we sold it for 100K more than we bought it for and it was exactly 2 years later! At this time, I wanted to sell the first house too. (I really didn't care for the neighborhood and thought it was going to go down hill. He disagreed.) Again, he was the leader and we continued to rent it out. 2 years later, he decided it was time to sell that first property that I really never wanted. (For tax reasons, it was a good time for us to sell it.) We sold that house in a down market, in Dec. We sold it in 8 days! And, we made over 100K on that house that I never wanted. While all the other houses in the area had been declining in value, it was at the perfect price point in the market to still be very desirable and NOT lose value. I really couldn't believe it. I definitely thanked God that I follow Him and submitted to my husband in buying both of these houses.

This has happened several times in real estate with us. We still own our very first house we bought 11 years ago. I have wanted to sell it several times. He has never wanted to. It's been a big blessing to us. We were able to use the equity in that house to pay for fertility treatments. (We were able to pay off that equity line of credit because of the sale of the above houses. ) If we had sold this house when I wanted to, we would not have our 6 children. We also had to move back into it. It's a very long story, but we suddenly needed to move within a very short time. (Through no fault of ours.) It just happened the renters in that house were moving out and we were able to move back in. It is now a rental again making money for us.

I have found that following my husband is always the right thing to do. Not only is it Biblical, but it's very freeing. I feel it is our calling to advise our husbands. But, God made them the final say and He is faithful to lead them. By following our Godly husbands, we are following Christ.

Good job following your husband!
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Old 12-23-2012, 01:13 PM   #6
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Re: DH Leading the Family Testimonies

There have been a few times (mostly minor) but some of the major ones would be moving to NC from TX. In TX we owned (paid off) our home, had great jobs, friends, family, had just remodeled the house, etc when God called us to NC. No job, no income, nothing. Just move for ministry (volunteer). I agreed though emotions were exactly like you said- all over the place! Now 5.5 yrs later I can't imagine anything else. It's exactly where we need to be. It hasn't always been easy but God took our comfy life and threw it out the window to teach us SO much more. Would not give up that wonderful lesson for anything we're closer as a family and cling to God more tightly because of those experiences
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Old 12-28-2012, 12:52 PM   #7
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Re: DH Leading the Family Testimonies

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It hasn't always been easy but God took our comfy life and threw it out the window to teach us SO much more. Would not give up that wonderful lesson for anything
I LOVE that! haha. Isn't it the truth? God has done that for me a few times in my life and I am also thankful for it! And on the things in life that I do not feel like God caused, but sadly happened anyway; He sure made good come from it all! Love your testimony.
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Old 12-28-2012, 01:10 PM   #8
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Re: DH Leading the Family Testimonies

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Originally Posted by HeatherlovesCDs View Post
I have found that following my husband is always the right thing to do. Not only is it Biblical, but it's very freeing. I feel it is our calling to advise our husbands. But, God made them the final say and He is faithful to lead them. By following our Godly husbands, we are following Christ.

Good job following your husband!
Thanks for the encouragement! I am starting to find it freeing vs. feeling so much struggle with it. I'm thankful my heart is finding the beauty in it and feeling like I understand it more and more. My husband is not like an "commander" leader and he really has a servant's heart and so I always have had to figure out "is he telling me what he would prefer or is he telling me how this all needs to go and just isn't wording it like that?" or "is he just saying something because he knows I feel a certain way?"haha. Anyway, I feel like as I am growing more into my role, he is also growing into his more and more. Very cool. Well, I go in spurts still of being perfectly fine with his decision and then being sad and shedding some tears; but as time goes by it's getting easier.
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Old 12-31-2012, 06:50 PM   #9
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This past year I was reading something, I think it was the blog of anther wife. And she was saying how she was upset and frustrated one day and thought something ill toward her husband who had asked her to do something else on top of all the stuff for her kiddos, the house, etc. And into her head popped, "because I made you his helpmate". She went on to explain it better, but I find myself thinking about this when I get frustrated...which probably happens more than I want to admit it *blush*, my nature is not quiet submission although I long for it. But the more I serve, the more I submit, the more I find that it requires great strength to do so, and that God has totally instilled us with the capability to do so and I feel blessed. Prayer totally gets me through these times when I wouldn't make it on my own strength. I'm so glad you're finding peace in this place!
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Old 01-08-2013, 12:28 PM   #10
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Re: DH Leading the Family Testimonies

My 12 yr marriage is a testimony to the blessing of submission. It is the work that God has done in my heart and life in this area that has brought about amazing fruit...in me, in my marriage, in my children! I am not voiceless or ineffective, either. DH and I have great communication and he, truly, loves me as Christ loves the Church...he adores me and his love has deepened with each passing year. God is good!
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