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Old 08-04-2012, 07:19 PM   #21
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Re: Birth Assault

I'm so sorry ladies, what frightening, painful experiences for you. I hope you all get over it in time, and I keep wondering why there isn't a bill to prevent this. If an orthopedic surgeon treated patients like this his license would be revoked and his butt would be sued to kingdom come. It's sad, but I can't see it as anything but the worst sexism. The laws are made to protect cruel, ego-driven male doctors from their idiotic, litigious female patients who just don't know how to give birth.

I knew this would be a difficult thread to read, but it has really solidified my determination to have a homebirth next time. People constantly say that "all that matters is you have a healthy baby," and that attitude infuriates me. Of course that is the BIG thing that matters, but it isn't the ONLY thing. If an OB actually did rape you after you gave birth, would people say "oh well, you have a healthy baby"? No, they would not. But because it's an instrument and not his privates involved then the mother must just be overreacting and she obviously doesn't appreciate her baby.

People refuse to acknowledge that the things a doctor does to a woman during labor counts, just as much as the things a doctor does the rest of the time. These people would never let this crap fly under any other conditions. Childbirth shouldn't be a free pass for abuse and mistreatment.

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Old 08-04-2012, 09:24 PM   #22
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Re: Birth Assault

agreed. i think there is not enough protection in this country for women in many ways. i really don't understand it either. i think its just that a lot of people take what doctors say and do as gospel and don't question it.

there is the forum about birth trauma. http://www.solaceformothers.org/ it was shocking how many stories are similar. so many common practices are so traumatic for so many women.
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Old 08-05-2012, 07:28 AM   #23
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Re: Birth Assault

Newmommy I'm so so sorry.

Doctors would not be allowed to treat any other type of patient that way. It will never cease to amaze me how doctors can get away with abusing pregnant women.

When I was first doing my research on the manual removal of the placenta procedure I found a question posted online by an OB to other OB's asking if they use pain relief during this procedure. Even though all the medical texts talk about how painful it is quite a few of the posters stated that they don't give pain relief because it is so quick. One of the OB's stated that he gauges his patients. If they seem like they they handled L&D well he doesn't but he does if Mom's seem worn out. They were also talking about how it's a great 'tool' to speed up the process of L&D
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Old 08-05-2012, 08:03 AM   #24
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I'm in shock reading these accounts. My heart is just breaking for all of you mamas who have had to deal with such trauma. How incredibly awful.
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Old 08-05-2012, 08:13 AM   #25
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Re: Birth Assault

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Originally Posted by Ellasundies View Post
Newmommy I'm so so sorry.

Doctors would not be allowed to treat any other type of patient that way. It will never cease to amaze me how doctors can get away with abusing pregnant women.

When I was first doing my research on the manual removal of the placenta procedure I found a question posted online by an OB to other OB's asking if they use pain relief during this procedure. Even though all the medical texts talk about how painful it is quite a few of the posters stated that they don't give pain relief because it is so quick. One of the OB's stated that he gauges his patients. If they seem like they they handled L&D well he doesn't but he does if Mom's seem worn out. They were also talking about how it's a great 'tool' to speed up the process of L&D
wtf?!?! someone forgot to tell my doctors that it was a quick procedure. i guess i know now why i was not given pain relief. they just didn't want to take the time.
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Old 08-16-2012, 08:18 PM   #26
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Re: Birth Assault

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He then proceeded to insert his ARM up into me, while I'm still contracting no less. He was probably up to his midforearm inside of me. It was the most excruciating pain in my life. I SCREAMED, up until that point I had been silent, and the dumb nurse sneered at me while I did so. I can't even begin to describe the pain but I would deliver 1,000 babies naturally if I never had to go through that. He ripped my placenta out by scratching it out of me with his fingers.
OMG!!!! I was ignorant of what happened to me until I read this!!! WTF???!!! The doc told me I was bleeding heavily and they had to get the placenta out fast. But now that I think about it, the hospital was VERY busy when I checked in and the doc only showed up the last 2 pushes before baby was out. I bet she just had to be there for the placenta to be expelled and didn't want to wait and that's what she did! OMG!! I feel SO violated!!!
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Old 08-17-2012, 04:48 AM   #27
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I didn't experience birth assault but had a traumatic birth experience. I had PTSD and PPD. Keep talking about what happened, keep processing it, keep reaching out for support. Don't let people tell you that you should just be happy that you have a healthy baby and minimize what happened (I think people say this bc they don't know what to say - kind of like after you say you had a m/c and someone says it must have happened for a reason).

I also STRONGLY encourage you to seek out a therapist who does EMDR. It's a therapy that helps people who've had traumatic experiences learn to re-process what happened in a non-traumatic way. It helped me in one session after I had been in trad therapy and on meds for months. It was hard but worth it. Been used for 20 yrs and involves listening to sounds while recounting and discussing the trauma. I know it sounds goofy but it works.

I'm now preggo again. I question whether I should even bother to hope for a joyful birth experience or if it will lead to more disappointment.

Find a therapist that you like, it might not be the 1st one you try. But keep looking until you find one who supports you and gets you. Dont be afraid to take meds if you need them. Yr baby needs a healthy mentally available mama. Find a mom's group or online support. Know that you are not alone.

You will end up on the other side as a survivor not a victim.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:13 PM   #28
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Re: Birth Assault

I don't have any encouraging words but I wanted to tell you that I am sorry this happened to you. I don't have any idea how to deal with something like that. I hope you are able to heal soon, in all ways.
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Old 09-03-2012, 10:36 PM   #29
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My first birth was a traumatic birth. It's been 13 years and I'm still dealing with it.

I recently found a post partum counselor. She's in PA but can do Skype sessions. She takes most insurance. I was thinking about trying counseling through her. She came to our ICAN meeting and told her own birth story and listened to ours. Her feedback in that short amount of time was wonderful. Laura Favin is her name of anyone wants to contact her.
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Old 09-07-2012, 04:12 AM   #30
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So sorry for those who have had such traumatic births. I had an episiotomy and my dr used the vacuum on my 1st b/c of her HR. Not sure if it was entirely necessary as I didn't question it (I totally would now). But my dr asked my permission first, which is something they should always do unless it is a REAL emergency.
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