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Old 08-04-2012, 05:39 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Michelle_M
Ok.. so until recently, my two older boys (7 and 4 1/2) shared a room. Bedtime was rough.. but not TOO bad.

I now have moved my 2 1/2 yr old into their room (weaned him off of co-sleeping in prep for the new baby due in 7 weeks). Bedtime is NOW bedlam!

Bedtime is 8pm. Everyone was normally asleep by 9pm. NOW they are awake until like 10pm or 11pm. They are up a million times for a drink of water, or to go to to the bathroom, or to ask for a toy.... they play and are loud, and that often turns into someone getting hurt a couple of times (over active playing).

It's driving me INSANE!

HELP ME PLEASE!

It seems to be better if I turn off all the lights and tell them I'm going to bed and then go sit in my room for an hour, they calm down. But as soon as I come out.. they are all crazy again.

I've tried taking away their bed time privileges for the next night (bed time shows, a book and songs), I have tried taking favorite toys and putting them in time out the next day. I've tried spanking.... I don't know what to do at this point.

The MAIN problem is DS3... but I don't know what else to do.... I could try getting a crib and putting him in it... he'd cry for a few minutes probably.. but would that work? I'd have to FIND a crib first..

Thoughts, advice, ideas?

God bless!
Sorry I have no advice but how did you get your 2 1/2 year old out of your bed. My son won't go and I have a baby coming anyday!!!

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Old 08-04-2012, 05:44 PM   #12
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Re: PLEASE help me with my kids bedtime!

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Soo frustrating! Here are some ideas for you. Like a pp said, have everything they need in the room:water, lovey, anything else they are getting out of bed for. Also, you could give each child three out-of -bed "passes". If they need to go to the bathroom, it uses a pass. If they come out to ask you a question, it uses a pass. This can limit how many times they get up.

Also, it sounds like you want to put your three kids down, in the same room, and have them magically, peacefully drift off to sleep alone. How nice... (not trying to be rude in any way, that's just how I read your post). however, this may not be a realistic option. I would try sitting either in their room, or just outside of the room. You could knit, read, whatever. But often a parent's (quiet) presence is very helpful for keeping a sleepy atmosphere. If you're there, it would probably only be 15-30 minutes. (haha no guarantees).

When I am having issues, I like to remind myself that the time will be spent one way or another. I can spend it fighting with them, and thinking about all the other things I want to be doing, or I can spend it peacefully, and think of those 20 minutes as just part of the bedtime routine. Good luck!
LOL I certainly don't expect to put them all down and they magically go to bed.. more for looking for just LESS TIME of them goofing off.

When it was just my older two in one room, and the little on in my room, the little one was settled down and asleep within half an hour, and usually an hour for the older two... now it's 2 to 3 hours for all of them, MOSTLY because the toddler "bugs" the older two if they try to ignore him to go to sleep. And my oldest is the one who gets upset because he WANTS to go to sleep.

We had planned on buying a full/full or twin/full bunk bed set next month, so that DS1 could be on top by himself and the other two would leave him alone... but that's not gonna happen for a while.

Got some good advice here though!

Thanks ladies!

God bless!
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Old 08-04-2012, 05:46 PM   #13
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Re: PLEASE help me with my kids bedtime!

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It can be rough. You've already gotten some good input, so I don't have a whole lot to add.

The one idea I've had and done is to give "free moment pass". Set the amount that you won't. 1,2,3, etc. You make up these "Free moment" passes. If you say 2 times, give them two passes. They let you know, they give you a pass [for a drink, bathroom, for you to come in to answer a question, give a hug, etc.] Once, they use all passes, that's it. They know they are not allowed out of their bed/room anymore. Gradually wean down the pass until it is none.

I would suggest putting the the 2.5 year old to bed 1/2 hour before as well if that would work for you.
Aside from that, as the PP'ers said you can wait outside the door and anytime they try to come out, you don't say anything but direct them back to bed. It may be many times the first couple of nights, but it does go down.

Good luck!
I might try putting the toddler to bed earlier. Put him to bed at 8pm like normal, then put the older two to bed at 8:30... I don't know if DS3 would go to sleep in half an hour or not...... hm? Worth a try though.

God bless!
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Old 08-04-2012, 05:48 PM   #14
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I used to sit in the room with the toddler if they couldn't put themselves to bed yet and any time they got wiggly or made a lot of noise I told them to shh it is time to calm our bodies. I had to do that with my older two when they were toddlers. If they got really bad I would give them a warning then walk out of the room and come back and tell them I will sit with you if you are calm and ready to go to bed. Once they learned to be calm I would then work on them putting themselves to sleep. At first I walk out and tell them I had to do something I would be back in a bit. Eventually I just start telling them night night it is time to go to bed. I always have the kids go potty before bed. I do not let them come out of the room for things like drinks and potty because it just excuses. If they tried to come out of the room I calmly bring them back in and say it is time for bed. They all share a room.
This is actually how I started to get DS3 to bed when we stopped nursing to sleep..... It's just since we moved him into his brother's room that the major "bed time issues" have arisen. But most of you have the same advice.. .so we'll give it a try tonight!

God bless!
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Old 08-04-2012, 05:54 PM   #15
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Re: PLEASE help me with my kids bedtime!

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Sorry I have no advice but how did you get your 2 1/2 year old out of your bed. My son won't go and I have a baby coming anyday!!!
I put a twin sized mattress on the floor next to my bed and started laying down there with him until he fell asleep.

Then when he realized that he wasn't sleeping in my bed anymore, and was comfortable down there... I started staying until he was ALMOST asleep and then getting up. If he cried for more than 5 minutes I'd go in and lay down with him for a bit, and then get up again. Eventually he stopped crying for more than a minute or two when I left.

Then, when he was used to that, I laid with him for just about 10 minutes, then got up and left.. again.. if he cried for more than 5 minutes I'd go back in, and start over.

Then when he stopped crying over me leaving... I just put him to bed, told him "I love you, night night." And gave him a kiss and covered him up and left... and if he cried for more than five minutes.. I went back in to him.

It eventually got to the point where I just said "Ok, it's time for bed." He would cry, but run through the house, to my room, get on the mattress, fluff his pilow (yes, he fluffed his pillow, lol), sit down, pull the blanket over him and lay down and then give me a kiss.. .ALL while crying!

Then when I left, he'd cry for just a few minutes... and then that was it.

So he's been on his mattress for some time now... I'm 33 weeks pregnant, and he was on his mattress right around the time I found out I was pregnant... and I just moved him into the room with his brothers a few weeks ago.

Now, through all this, he would wake up in the middle of the night and climb into bed with me. When it got to the point where he was sleeping on his own mattress through the night more than 3 nights a week on average.. that's when I moved him in with his brothers.

Hope that helps.

God bless!
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:02 PM   #16
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Re: PLEASE help me with my kids bedtime!

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Originally Posted by Michelle_M View Post
I might try putting the toddler to bed earlier. Put him to bed at 8pm like normal, then put the older two to bed at 8:30... I don't know if DS3 would go to sleep in half an hour or not...... hm? Worth a try though.

God bless!
Keep us posted! Bedtime can be tough! My two boys share a room and one is a night owl by nature, the other is a sunset to bed sleeper [he's my SPD/ADHD child]. He actually likes to sleep on our sofa because it makes him feel enclosed so it all works out with that.

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Old 08-04-2012, 08:18 PM   #17
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Re: PLEASE help me with my kids bedtime!

Watching TV at night is really stimulating to the brain and can prevent the child or adult from falling asleep. I suggest putting the youngest back in a crib and putting him to bed first. Then the older 2 should be able to go in and sleep without making noise. Do they take naps? That could be the problem also. As much as we don't like them to stop it can stop them from being tired at night. Even if they are in the habit of falling asleep during the day doesn't mean they need a nap.
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Old 08-05-2012, 03:56 AM   #18
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Re: PLEASE help me with my kids bedtime!

Hope you figure something out. We're needing to figure something out for our 2.5 yr old's bed time too b/c she takes forever to get to sleep!

With ours we just co-slept with both LO's when we were expecting our newborns. We used to have two beds pulled up next to each other and would put the older one on the other bed once fully asleep and keep our newborn in the middle.
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Old 08-05-2012, 04:10 AM   #19
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Do they take naps? That could be the problem also. As much as we don't like them to stop it can stop them from being tired at night. Even if they are in the habit of falling asleep during the day doesn't mean they need a nap.
Yep, for us my 2.5 yr old isn't tired early enough (for us) at night b/c she still naps. Not totally sure what to do about it though b/c if she didn't nap she'd probably be super fussy all evening (went through that with our oldest when he dropped his nap )
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