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Old 08-07-2012, 11:00 AM   #21
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Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?

Is there any way your kindy kid can get into morning kindergarten? And if so, would you be able to take him? If so, then your DH might be able to get a bit more sleep if the new baby can settle into the same schedule.

It looks like it might suck...but since it's made sucky by the kindergarten schedule, it IS only temporary. I think anyone could stick that out for just 5 months (Jan to May) Then you can all reevaluate in the summer again.


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Old 08-07-2012, 06:47 PM   #22
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Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?

Originally Posted by keonli View Post
See, I'm not crazy for thinking this. DH thinks he's able to adapt to any environment though. I'll have a talk with him tonight. If anything, he'll have his trial run during my maternity leave and then come end of January, he can seal his own fate. Thanks for the input!
Dh thinks he can adapt or the baby can? LOL I would find some other way. The whole lack of sleep thing is really hard to deal with. My dh works nights & odd hours & still hasn't fully adjusted a few years later. He will need to sleep & it wouldn't be safe for him to be out driving under those conditions.
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Old 08-07-2012, 07:39 PM   #23
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I would definitely let him try. If you see his health or attitude degrading, then look for other solutions.
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Old 08-07-2012, 07:57 PM   #24
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Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?

We did that type of schedule for 5 months....
It was terrible and seriously effected our marriage. I got maybe 6 hours of sleep a night and my husband got 4 hours. We never saw eachother and were so stressed out. After 5 months and my husband almost falling asleep driving home every day we gave up. I quit my job and now 4 months later w are happy but poor.

when i have more time i'll lay out our schedule and more info if you want.
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:25 PM   #25
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Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?

i would see about switching to morning kinder, then it would work perfect.
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Old 08-08-2012, 08:39 AM   #26
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Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?

Dad did this when I was the youngest so no newborn to factor in. He also didn't have to commute over 100 miles a day.

Morning kindy wouldn't work either. I have to be at work before 8 and my commute is half an hour. DS will need to be dropped off between that time frame, so DH would still be stuck with bringing him to and fro, thus losing sleep either way. I've tried for 3 years to find a job closer to home, but they all want huge pay cuts that exceed my commuting expenses. Not doable for us right now. DH has been trying to find a job closer to home as well, but all the places are only looking to hire for a few months, and since DH handles our insurance, also not doable. We're really stuck between a rock and a hard place in regards to better jobs in RI. I really, really wish staying home was an option, but then we'd only be able to make the mortgage and a few utility bills...and we still wouldn't qualify for any assistance.

I'm willing to let him try it though, because he really thinks he can. Our back up plans are:

-relying on his family (who haven't been very reliable at all)
-asking my mom and dad to help out (either she moves in or I bring baby to her)
-YMCA after school program for our oldest or something similar

We'll figure it out though. DH is a bit hurt that I have no faith in him but I'm thinking of his health too. It has nothing to do with his ability to parent. I know he's a good dad.
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Old 08-08-2012, 08:55 AM   #27
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My DH and I lived a very similar schedule when our oldest was 4 and our then youngest was 9 months. He worked nights, got home around 7am to two already awake kids at which time I left for class (was in nursing school). He would nap when they napped during the day, I would get home at 3ish at which time he would go to bed until he had to get up around 9 to go to work. I would study either when the kids went to bed or get up at 4 am to study before the day started all over. It was an exhausting 2 years and not healthy for us or our marriage.
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Old 08-08-2012, 05:28 PM   #28
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Re: Do you think this is an impossible schedule for DH?

Your husband sounds like a great man for trying to work this out without assistance from any family/friends. I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying this out as long as you both know that there is a high possibility that it may not work out. As long as you have some sort of a back up plan to use if he can't handle it, why not at least try? You never know for sure until you try.
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