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Old 08-31-2012, 07:59 AM   #1
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Help with foster child behavior (toddler)

Hello! We have been fostering for a little over a year now. We have a 3-year-old of our own and have been fostering a sibling pair (our 3rd placement) for a little over a month now. These two come from a background of neglect. The oldest is a 15-month-old boy and the youngest is a 3-month-old girl (almost 4 months--they are 12 months apart). They both obviously have some emotional issues, though the girl (baby) has now adjusted and is a happy, content baby. Her brother still has some struggles, understandably, BUT he is definitely making progress. He clearly loves our son, but also definitely feels somewhat competitive for our attention with both siblings (he was also the middle child in his sibling group). Anyhow, he tends to often be very dramatic, when he is told "no" he will "cry"--more like a fit--for a prolonged time afterward and if he cannot have something he wants it is the same way. He will sometimes also "scream" (a light-not really a loud piercing scream) and clench his fists if he wants something or me and pinches if he is mad or if someoe is a bother to him. His emotional issues are clearly something we understand, and like I said he IS making progress and sometimes is completely great for a long period. I have called Early Intervention and we will be meeting with them within the next couple of weeks to see if they can help me help him. I think some of his behavior is just being a toddler, but much I can see is related to his past and emotions that go with that. I was just wondering if anyone else has experience with these kind of issues and has any suggestions on how to help him cope/change/curb/progress past this behavior. TIA!


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Old 08-31-2012, 08:31 AM   #2
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Re: Help with foster child behavior (toddler)

Help him put words to his feelings and acknowledge that you understand (paraphrase back to him). Firmly but calmly tell him "we do not pinch (hit etc) people". Make sure you don't give in when he throws a fit but it is good to talk him through it calmly acknowledging his feelings. When he begins to calmdown a little, try distracting him with a toy or fun activity.
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:23 PM   #3
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Re: Help with foster child behavior (toddler)

That actually sounds a lot like what my bio daughter (18 mos) has been doing for a couple months. I think it's just frustration over not being able to verbalize what he's feeling. It will probably pass as he begins to speak more.
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Old 09-05-2012, 08:13 PM   #4
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Sounds like a very frustrating phase, but just a phase ((hugs)). Keep on doing what you're doing, mama!
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