spanking...yes or no?

[HugeBabyBoy]

No! No way, no how, not once, not ever!

I was occasionally spanked myself as a child. All too often I've seen children spanked, and I've never seen it done by a calm collected adult.

Adults don't realize their own strength over a child. With adrenaline pumping because a child is defiant and disobedient, spanking then becomes about an outlet for adult's frustration... a child should NOT be that outlet.

There's no teachable moment in spanking, only fear.

If one feels relieved, upset or like they got their point across after spanking, there are other methods that can be implemented without hurting a child.

[Computermama]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady Yep, I spank on occasion. It's one of the many tools I use in my overall "discipline philosophy." I use punishments on occasions, of various types, from sitting in the corner (ie time out) to taking away toys etc. I have also used rewards at times. And I have used natural or logical consequences. I teach my kids write from wrong, and I teach my kids to do what they are told. I teach them to think about things and I teach them to respect authority. There are many things that I teach in my overall discipline process. And I use what tools I deem necessary to teach the things I want to teach.

this. In my case I use spankings only when the natural consequence to her action was danger. The only two times she's been spanked were for running away towards cars - once in a busy parking lot and once towards the highway we used to live on. For other things i prefer to use gentler techniques - like natural consequences or time outs.

[Happy Mommax4]

I can't say I've never done it, mostly outta shear frustration. I can probably count on one hand the times I did. To see that look on your child's face, can't live w that.

Plus I have a HUGE issue teaching my kids not to hit/keep your hands to yourself etc. and then doing it!!!

[angelisagemini]

Nope, never. It disgusts me and I think it should be treated as assault.

[southernbelle04]

Originally Posted by mama2jack Yes I have. That said it is something I don't want to do and it does not work for our family. It just gets everyone more upset. So we are using other methods now. IMO the environment you were describing sounds excessive.

This.

Posted from my iPhone while nursing...or just procrastinating

[Leiiki]

Never have, never will. If you use an appropriate baseline for discipline, spanking is never even a possibility. The families I see who spank are those whose *baseline* reaction is already off the scale: if you scream at a toddler for spilling food, there's nowhere to go but into physicality when they are truly misbehaving.

I agree with PPs: if it's abuse to hit your spouse or your parent, and assault to hit another adult, there's no logical or moral excuse for hitting a child.

[mibarra]

I voted no. I don't personally feel smacking/hitting/whatever TEACHES anything except that physical consequences are appropriate, and obedience through fear. I get much better results with brief time outs and explanations. I have spanked, I hate it, it doesn't work on my kids, and I don't find it useful.

[Leighleighbuggy]

I wonder what those with more "defiant" children do in certain situations. I have 3 rambunctious boys and we don't spank. However, I will be first to admit, two of my children are not the most behaved. We do time outs and behaivor charts, but a lot of times they could care less about the consequences. Especially my middle son. My older son cares more about losing his stars, but his nature is to be a people pleaser, etc, so he is usually really well behaved.

Anyway, sorry to hijack, but for those that time outs/ behaivor charts don't work, what do you do?

[JoeysMomma]

No, never.
I don't agree with hitting children. There are more respectful and effective ways of punishment for our family.

[Fishie Kisses]

Originally Posted by Leighleighbuggy I wonder what those with more "defiant" children do in certain situations. I have 3 rambunctious boys and we don't spank. However, I will be first to admit, two of my children are not the most behaved. We do time outs and behaivor charts, but a lot of times they could care less about the consequences. Especially my middle son. My older son cares more about losing his stars, but his nature is to be a people pleaser, etc, so he is usually really well behaved. Anyway, sorry to hijack, but for those that time outs/ behaivor charts don't work, what do you do?

I'd love some guidance here as well!