Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-11-2012, 12:49 PM   #1
theonenonlymrssmith's Avatar
theonenonlymrssmith
Poet Laureate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 4,246
Any recovered yellers out there??

I Hate yelling. Really, I do. But if you ask my son he would probably tell you differently. For instance, I just handed ds a basket of freshly folded clothes to put away. He decided to dump the basket of clothes over his head instead. (he is 4) I yelled, because he is CONSTANTLY unfolding my laundry. This is at least a 3x a week occurrence and he knows better. Anyways, I digress. I'd like to quit yelling. Any tips on how to quit?

......you should see what my posts look like BEFORE auto correct.

Advertisement

theonenonlymrssmith is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 01:11 PM   #2
Mac & Cheeses mom's Avatar
Mac & Cheeses mom
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Nj
Posts: 6,289
My Mood:
I am a reformed ish yeller. I try really reall hard not to yell because if I'm yelling then I am really mad, or frustrated which in turn turns in to throwing item (totally Hispanic stereotypical reaction here). Anywho if I get to my boiling point I run away and tell DH I'm off duty. Or I put on music step back walk away and do something I like to change my mood and then resume what I was doing before.

As for the clothes I stick to folding after DD2 is in bed because she does the same thing.
__________________
Mom to Breille (cheese) 9-14-00 & Mackenzie (Mac) 12-31-10
I do know how to spell, my smartphone does not.
Mac & Cheeses mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 01:18 PM   #3
Fairycat
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 5,288
My Mood:
Re: Any recovered yellers out there??

I am fighting this myself. my number one biggest helper is to take ever desire to be louder, and use it to be that much quieter. I have found talking just above a whisper seems to get DS's attention so much better then yelling. It seems to less likely to tune me out and more likely to come closer and listen.
Fairycat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 01:18 PM   #4
Fairycat
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 5,288
My Mood:
Re: Any recovered yellers out there??

dp

Last edited by Fairycat; 08-12-2012 at 12:22 PM.
Fairycat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 01:21 PM   #5
KLeeCW
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 647
My Mood:
Re: Any recovered yellers out there??

My name is Kristie and I am a yeller. Yeah, there needs to be a 12 step program for this. I'm right there with you. My mom was a yeller growing up and I think I just didn't learn good ways to mediate a problem. I usually start out calm and patient, but after repeatedly being ignored or tested, I do yell my butt off. I always feel so bad after. I frequently apologize to DS because I think it's important that he knows I didn't respond properly to the situation. I'm working on it and getting better, but it's still hard sometimes. Sometimes, I even find that it just means letting DS get away with something because I know if I open my mouth it's going to come out as a scream. In those situations I tend to walk to the other room, take a minute, then try to come back and discuss with DS why what he was doing is not okay.
KLeeCW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 03:43 PM   #6
tweety612's Avatar
tweety612
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 1,095
I got a book out from the library called "Scream Free Parenting". Has good reviews on Amazon. Haven't started reading it yet.

Sent from my DROID4 using DS Forum
__________________
Mama to 1 big guy 9 yo) 1 little guy (2 yo) and one angel (7/06)

Last edited by tweety612; 08-11-2012 at 03:45 PM.
tweety612 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 06:45 PM   #7
monkeymama07's Avatar
monkeymama07
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NOVA
Posts: 2,294
Re: Any recovered yellers out there??

I try very hard not to yell...

my son 4 dumped his huge box of clothes out and guess who got to refold them and put them away all by his lonesome ... yep Mr. Liam did... and you know the fold job was terrible and hell be wearing wrinkly clothes BUT he learned valuable lessons..1. mom works hard to keep things nice and its not easy peasy and is tiring...2.he got a sense of achievement and independence and hopefully he wont rip everything out like a mad man since he will be picking them up... and hey if he folds and puts away his wn clothes it saves me time

but yeah learning not to yell is VERY VERY hard... I have to walk away and take a minute before I talk sometimes so I dont yell. I try to only yell for emergencies so I get the reaction I want him to stop immediately.. I find in yelling houses the kids have learned to tune you out... and well when I yell not to go in the road or to watch out for something hot I dont want to be tuned out.

I TRY to go for natural consequences.. tis a work in progress....
__________________
Single mama to an awesome 6 year old and fighting cancer one day at a time.
Looking for Womens clothes size Large 12/14.... any help would be appreciated
monkeymama07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 06:58 PM   #8
emerino's Avatar
emerino
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 807
Im not a yeller, most of the time, but I've heard of counting to 10 before reacting. It has something to do with giving your brain time to process the emotions properly. I know I'm butchering how it was explained to me.

I think I raise my voice too much but I'm not a screamer with my kids. But I'm a thrower/door slammer when I get really frustrated with DH, especially when I'm hormonal. It's not frequent, but it happens and I'm not proud. I try to remove myself from the situation (him) when I feel I'm about to react. Something just boils up inside me. Maybe when you feel the urge to yell you should step away from your DS until the urge has lessened.

I know some awesome moms who struggle with yelling. It's great that you desire to change it.
__________________
Emerson - happy, far-from-perfect, Christian, not-so-crunchy wife to K(3/05) and momma to M(11/06), S(2/08), and N(1/12)
emerino is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 07:55 PM   #9
leadmare's Avatar
leadmare
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: on an adventure with the one I love!
Posts: 1,197
Re: Any recovered yellers out there??

You can also try giving yourself and your child a time out out When you are really frustrated, try telling (no yelling) your kid you are both going to take a time out before talking about *whatever is going on*. Then you each go into a separate room, and don't come out until you can calmly handle the situation. Then you can talk about why you were upset, consequences, etc. Another benefit is it teaches your kids that timeouts aren't "bad", (i. e. If you're upset, it's good to take a break) and gives them a tool to handle frustrating situations. Good luck mamma!
leadmare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2012, 08:35 PM   #10
theonenonlymrssmith's Avatar
theonenonlymrssmith
Poet Laureate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 4,246
Quote:
Originally Posted by leadmare
You can also try giving yourself and your child a time out out When you are really frustrated, try telling (no yelling) your kid you are both going to take a time out before talking about *whatever is going on*. Then you each go into a separate room, and don't come out until you can calmly handle the situation. Then you can talk about why you were upset, consequences, etc. Another benefit is it teaches your kids that timeouts aren't "bad", (i. e. If you're upset, it's good to take a break) and gives them a tool to handle frustrating situations. Good luck mamma!
Ohh I like this! I will try to remember to try before I yell tomorrow.

Ds just started working night and I've got to get it under control, since I am interfering with his sleep.

......you should see what my posts look like BEFORE auto correct.

Edit: that isn't the only reason I want to quit yelling! So I hope it didn't sound that way.

Last edited by theonenonlymrssmith; 08-11-2012 at 08:36 PM.
theonenonlymrssmith is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.