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Old 08-14-2012, 01:46 PM   #11
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Re: custody

U can also get refunds too if he has any coming to him if he's behind. U have to b on csru too to help u cuz they are swamped with cases & all....I think csru is 25 unless on title 19 or the like then no cost to u. Get wic to help while u are getting settled. I knowthere was another thread about he was paying enough 4 mom not to work. Cs will only increase /change if u file 4 it to b. Good luck. Not sure where u are at but hees google stuff 4 texas. Not sure where u r exactly to direct u.

http://www.google.com/m?hl=en&gl=us&...recovery+texas

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Old 08-14-2012, 01:46 PM   #12
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Re: custody

U can also get refunds too if he has any coming to him if he's behind. U have to b on csru too to help u cuz they are swamped with cases & all....I think csru is 25 unless on title 19 or the like then no cost to u. Get wic to help while u are getting settled. I knowthere was another thread about he was paying enough 4 mom not to work. Cs will only increase /change if u file 4 it to b. Good luck. Not sure where u are at but hees google stuff 4 texas. Not sure where u r exactly to direct u.

http://www.google.com/m?hl=en&gl=us&...recovery+texas
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Old 08-14-2012, 05:20 PM   #13
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Re: custody

The fact of the matter is that if he wants visitation then he can probably achieve that in court. It's his right as the father. If you want to prevent visitation then you must be able to prove that he is an unfit parent which is difficult unless you have proof he's on drugs or has a history of abuse. My step-sons mother is very mentally unstable and yet four years later there hasn't been much we can do to prove it.
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Old 08-14-2012, 06:40 PM   #14
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You pretty much need to decide between
1- Put him on the birth certificate. Make him be a father. Take him for support and share custody of your child with him.
Or
2- Don't put him on the birth certificate. Consider him a sperm donor. Raise your child yourself.
Only you can make that decision. Either way though, you should seek some professional advice from a lawyer. Good luck!
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Old 08-14-2012, 06:57 PM   #15
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You can usually have a free or reduced fee consultation with an attorney and it's a good idea to start there. I don't know the laws in TX, but if you want to buy some time and prevent him from getting visitation until you feel comfortable or the baby is a little older, do not put him on the birth certificate. You can always sign an affidavit or do a DNA test and they will add him to it later. You usually have 90 days to do this, or the court can have it changed if it exceeds that time. I am going off of Ohio's laws, here, so check your state's laws on their website, it should be relatively easy to find the basics and at least get an idea of what to do until you can get a lawyer. If the ex is agreeable, you might be able to draft up your own plan and have him sign off on it, a lawyer could help you and it would be way cheaper than going to court.

ETA: I didn't read your original post about your situation yet

ETA: also (at least, in Ohio), an unmarried mother is automatically considered the legal guardian from birth. He would have to file for any type of custody or visitation.
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Old 08-14-2012, 08:40 PM   #16
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Re: custody

Quote:
Originally Posted by HookedByCarolyn View Post
You pretty much need to decide between
1- Put him on the birth certificate. Make him be a father. Take him for support and share custody of your child with him.
Or
2- Don't put him on the birth certificate. Consider him a sperm donor. Raise your child yourself.
Only you can make that decision. Either way though, you should seek some professional advice from a lawyer. Good luck!
Though admittedly I'm unfamiliar with the law where you live and also jump on the "get a free consultation through legal aid" bandwagon.
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Old 08-20-2012, 08:22 PM   #17
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Re: custody

If he isn't there u could go on that. Mine wasn't around almost at all. Adbandonment.....my ex did stuff so I had reason 4 watched visits with my kid but as of now he's hiding from his warrant.....
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Old 08-21-2012, 11:29 AM   #18
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What if I don't have his e-mail or physical address and am afraid he blocked my number and I know he won't answer my facebook messages.

Sent from my Inspire. Hope everything makes sense!
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:49 PM   #19
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Re: custody

Quote:
Originally Posted by HookedByCarolyn View Post
You pretty much need to decide between
1- Put him on the birth certificate. Make him be a father. Take him for support and share custody of your child with him.
Or
2- Don't put him on the birth certificate. Consider him a sperm donor. Raise your child yourself.
Only you can make that decision. Either way though, you should seek some professional advice from a lawyer. Good luck!
It's impossible to make anyone be a father... Maybe in terms of money but in terms of a relationship with the child.... flat out impossible unless he's interested in it himself. My friend's ex husband refuses to have anything to do with their child. And they were married. He met the child once and was distant and awful (they filed for divorce 2 days before the baby was born). He didn't even attend the birth so she just put her last name down (they were still legally married at this point so I'm pretty sure he's the legal father). I'm sure there are legal repercussions ... but I'm pretty sure my friend's ex hasn't paid a dime (he never has a job). I also wonder how hard it's going to be across state lines to demand a paternity test... if he's not willing to even have contact with you, I bet that's going to be an uphill battle.
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Old 08-21-2012, 02:01 PM   #20
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Re: custody

Double post!
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