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Old 08-14-2012, 08:45 AM   #21
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

I think it depends a lot on the personality of the children, the ages of the children and the personality of the mother/parent.

I would rather NOT go to the grocery store with all three kids by myself, but I CAN do it. But if I asked DH to go to the grocery store with three kids by himself, Lord have mercy he'd about die of a panic attack.

My reason for not wanting to go grocery shopping with three kids... is that I get tired of hearing "I want." And when my DS2 was younger, he would have a fit if I made him stay in the cart, but would wonder off if I DID NOT put him in the cart. So it's easier now that he's older... because he (4 1/2) and DS1 (7) are both pretty good about staying with me, and DS3 (2 1/2) is still at the age of liking to ride in the cart.

I used to know a lady that had two children, at the time they were 6 or 7 months old and 5 yrs old. She would call me and ask me to come baby sit her kids while she went shopping, or ask me to go with her.... she didn't discipline her 5 yr old AT ALL, so as a result he was THAT kid. The one who is always out of control, does whatever he wants, was destructo-child... because mom's "discipline" was to beg him to stop and to ask him to stop being mean to her. So if you have kids like THAT, and you have MORE THAN ONE, then yeah, taking them in public is a nightmare.

For me, it's just that I can get my grocery shopping done FASTER and I can be more focused if I go without my kids. But yes, I frequently take all three to doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, and wherever.. this weekend my DH was sick so I took them all the church by myself. But sometimes it's EASIER to do stuff without them.

God bless!

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Old 08-14-2012, 08:47 AM   #22
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

I think it's all about what you are used to and how well you have "trained" your kids and how well they were able to take that training. I am very rulesy about being out in public. My kids have to be in or holding the cart (or holding hands if no cart). My 10yo is at an age where I may not physically hold onto him, but he has to stay in my line of sight. My babies MUST hold my hand while walking or they are in the stroller/carried. They have been taught from an early age and it makes going out with all 3 of them less challenging.

My sister on the other hand, has a darling little 2.5yo who wanders back and forth between people, touches many things, etc. It's easy to do when the ratio is 2 adults to 1 toddler. I expect that they will tighten the reigns a bit or leave the kids at home when the next one comes this December.
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Old 08-14-2012, 08:47 AM   #23
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

I have people ask me how I do it all the time!! I have a 4yo, 2.5yo and a 4mo; one walks, one rides and one is worn. We also have a routine: haul trash, go to the P.O., grocery store, pick-up lunch, then home. I try to do it on the same day at the same time and have for years. They know what to expect and how to behave, b/c they've been doing it every week since they were born. It just becomes more of a 'work out' for me with every additional child.
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Old 08-14-2012, 08:49 AM   #24
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

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Originally Posted by Nerissa View Post
Why is that weird?
My DH has taken the first week off with each of our kiddos and will with this one too. I love it. He does everything around the house and I just get to bond with the baby and get good nursing relationship established, rest and heal up. Plus it gives him some quality time with the other kiddos that he doens't get on a regular basis. He works 5 to 6 days a week 9 or 10am till 9 or 10pm
Yea, why is that weird? DS1 DH took off 6-7 weeks. DS2 he took off 2 weeks, then went to work for a week then was off for 2 more weeks. It was nice. If I hadn't had help I would've probably lost it even more than I already had.
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Old 08-14-2012, 08:54 AM   #25
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

I agree. I take all three of mine everywhere I go. My husband worked thirds until a little over a year ago, so if I wanted to go somewhere during the day, I took the kids and went. I have three, 5 and twins 3. And I've been taking them all since birth.
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Old 08-14-2012, 09:05 AM   #26
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I only have two kiddos but I find it very tiring to go out with the both of them, I do do it, but its hard. Even with my husband around! My DD just turned 2 and she is a huge fit thrower. Especially in public. My DS is 7 months old and very high needs and fussy. If we are getting big groceries its hard because I often have to hold him and try to push the cart at the same time because he was crying. My only babysitter does not like watching both kids ( actually just not the baby) at once so we usually take the baby.
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Old 08-14-2012, 09:07 AM   #27
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

My hubby did take off a week when DS2 and DD were born, that was nice. Not because I needed help with the baby (what could he do? Change diapers? LOL) but it was nice to have someone there to focus on the big kids so they weren't feeling slighted and I could just camp out on the sofa and heal.

I rarely leave the kids with DH so I can go to the store when he's home. 1) I value our family time and 2) I feel it's unfair to him to work 45 hours and then come home and be Mr. Mom. It's easier and takes less time, but it cuts into our family time and eliminates DH's down time...he works a very physically demanding job in a factory that isn't climate controlled at all (115+ in the summer, <40 in the winter) so he needs his down time
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Old 08-14-2012, 09:21 AM   #28
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No offense to you, MamaNae, especially since your husband works 45 hours! I do leave my kids home with my husband and I find it annoying when people are shocked to hear that! They say things like, you make your husband babysit the kids. First of all, its not babysitting! They are his kids too! And I don't make him. He loves spending time with them after work.
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Old 08-14-2012, 09:23 AM   #29
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

I don't take all 6 of them usually, ONLY bc we aren't all usually together. With older teens who have college and teens who have football and work, youthgroup and band, it's rare that a trip could involve all of us. And I do sometimes leave the 2 yr old with a teen ONLY bc I can usually shop during his nap and also, our van has no AC, so when it was 115 out here, I tried to minimize anyone going anywhere! But many times I have at least 3-4 kids with me out and about.
But I don't think it's a big deal....when my older kids were 4, 3, 2 and new baby, we went every where, every day. Never thought of leaving them home.
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Old 08-14-2012, 09:24 AM   #30
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Re: Am I the only one who doesn't think it's a big deal

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerissa View Post
Why is that weird?
My DH has taken the first week off with each of our kiddos and will with this one too. I love it. He does everything around the house and I just get to bond with the baby and get good nursing relationship established, rest and heal up. Plus it gives him some quality time with the other kiddos that he doens't get on a regular basis. He works 5 to 6 days a week 9 or 10am till 9 or 10pm
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Originally Posted by babylove921 View Post
Yea, why is that weird? DS1 DH took off 6-7 weeks. DS2 he took off 2 weeks, then went to work for a week then was off for 2 more weeks. It was nice. If I hadn't had help I would've probably lost it even more than I already had.
It is just weird/unnecessary to ME because I never felt like I needed help with a newborn (or with the other kids- mine are all 3 years apart). What made it even more odd to me is that all of the families I have known that did that weren't financially stable enough for their dh's to take such time off work, but did it anyway because they "needed" help. It just didn't make sense to ME. Obviously, it feels necessary or difficult to some because it is so common to hear complaints about it. I think that was the OP's point. She's heard the "shopping with children" complaint so often she thought she might be the only one who didn't find it to be that way.
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