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Old 08-30-2012, 01:14 PM   #1
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2nd tri losses.....a couple of questions not sure where to ask.

Use found out we lost our baby at 13.5 weeks. Not sure the plan just yet. How long does it take for your body to get back to somewhat normal? Will they do chromosomes on the baby if you want them to? How long do most people bleed?

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Old 08-30-2012, 01:17 PM   #2
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How do you tell a 6 year old?
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Old 08-30-2012, 01:41 PM   #3
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Re: 2nd tri losses.....a couple of questions not sure where to ask.

I don't know the answers to your questions since all of my losses have been around 6 week....but I just wanted to offer you

I'm so sorry
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Old 08-30-2012, 01:44 PM   #4
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Re: 2nd tri losses.....a couple of questions not sure where to ask.

Oh sorry for your loss!!! I have only had early losses, but my sister has had two at 14 weeks. But she bled quite a bit and ended up in hospital because of it. I hope that it goes well for you!
As for your 6 year old, are you religious at all? I am Christian so I would explain that they are in Heaven, but not sure how you live.
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Old 08-30-2012, 01:51 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by luvsgreen
Oh sorry for your loss!!! I have only had early losses, but my sister has had two at 14 weeks. But she bled quite a bit and ended up in hospital because of it. I hope that it goes well for you!
As for your 6 year old, are you religious at all? I am Christian so I would explain that they are in Heaven, but not sure how you live.
We are. She will get thatbpart, but she will want to know how......I thought about telling her baby's grow from tiny eggs like seeds and sometimes they just don't grow all the way?
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Old 08-30-2012, 02:02 PM   #6
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I had a 16 weeks loss on July 26th of this year. I went and got induced and delivered the baby. I bled for 2.5 weeks. I'm not sure how long it takes your body to get back to normal but I started bleeding again 14 days after my initial bleeding stopped and it lasted 4 days. I believe it was a period, I'm not sure. My kids are ages 13, 7, 5, and 2. I just told them that the baby was sick and he died. The 7yo cried for a couple minutes about it. They were sad for a few days and gradually the baby's death wasn't thought of daily by my kids.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I wish there was something that I could do to make this sort of thing never happen but sadly there is not. If you would like to talk please PM me!

Stillbirthday.com has graphic pics of what your baby will look like if you decide to deliver him/her. It helped me a lot to prepare! Also, my baby had died at 14.3 days and he very much looked like a regular, but tiny, baby!

ETA: We opted for an autopsy for closure reasons. Just make sure your doctor orders it. But, my doc told me that 8 times out of 10 there is no earthy reason of why a baby has died in utero. So be prepared for that. We still haven't received the full results yet. The preliminary results came back and stated that the baby, placenta, an cord were all developed perfectly. We are waiting in chromosomal and blood work now.

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Old 08-30-2012, 02:53 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by TinaDeanette
I had a 16 weeks loss on July 26th of this year. I went and got induced and delivered the baby. I bled for 2.5 weeks. I'm not sure how long it takes your body to get back to normal but I started bleeding again 14 days after my initial bleeding stopped and it lasted 4 days. I believe it was a period, I'm not sure. My kids are ages 13, 7, 5, and 2. I just told them that the baby was sick and he died. The 7yo cried for a couple minutes about it. They were sad for a few days and gradually the baby's death wasn't thought of daily by my kids.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I wish there was something that I could do to make this sort of thing never happen but sadly there is not. If you would like to talk please PM me!

Stillbirthday.com has graphic pics of what your baby will look like if you decide to deliver him/her. It helped me a lot to prepare! Also, my baby had died at 14.3 days and he very much looked like a regular, but tiny, baby!

ETA: We opted for an autopsy for closure reasons. Just make sure your doctor orders it. But, my doc told me that 8 times out of 10 there is no earthy reason of why a baby has died in utero. So be prepared for that. We still haven't received the full results yet. The preliminary results came back and stated that the baby, placenta, an cord were all developed perfectly. We are waiting in chromosomal and blood work now.
Well they already told us the cerebellum wasn't formed much at all. That really makes me feel quite a but better. That would have made for really awful decisions later or late term loss or still birth.
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Old 08-30-2012, 02:54 PM   #8
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And thanks so much. It sucks all the way around. Nothing prepares you for it....
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Old 08-30-2012, 02:57 PM   #9
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Re: 2nd tri losses.....a couple of questions not sure where to ask.

I'm so sorry sweetie.

My sister lost her son at 18 weeks. She had to go in and deliver him.

Her recovery was just like how it is after a live birth. Couple weeks of bleeding and then AF showed up 4 weeks later.

I am sure you will find a way to tell your dd about the loss
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Old 08-30-2012, 03:15 PM   #10
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Re: 2nd tri losses.....a couple of questions not sure where to ask.

I am so sorry for your loss.

We found out Elliana had died at 22wk3d. We were given the option of induction or d&c, chose induction for both ourselves and the other kids' sakes.
After she was born, we were able to spend as much time as we wanted with her body. I did have issues with the placenta not coming away, so I ended up having to have a d&c as well.
I bled pp for 4wks, and AF returned exactly 6wks after birth.

We were in the process of doing testing on DH and myself (blood tests to check dna and for a disorder in me) before finding out she had passed, we did do an amnio that day. We haven't heard anything from the Drs since then, so we don't know if there were any results or explanations from those.
We were offered an autopsy - varying degrees of ones, actually - but we declined.

As far as our older kids; we had been honest with them the whole time from the first bad u/s, so it just followed to continue being honest with them. She was sick and she died.
It was a different situation for us because we had been preparing the kids for things that may be wrong with the baby if she lived to birth, how her birth may be different, and that she may not live until birth.
That was one of the hardest parts for us - having to tell the kids and help them through their grief. But I think being honest with them is the best choice.
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