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Old 08-18-2012, 09:11 PM   #1
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Anyone get sick of the judgement?

Just a vent but I get so tired of people saying to me, oh I could never work and have kids, or that by the time I pay daycare I may as well stay home, or other things that imply that I'm not a good mom if I don't sah. I know live in an area where sah is the norm, but I wish people would turn off the judgement!

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Old 08-18-2012, 10:38 PM   #2
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Re: Anyone get sick of the judgement?

Yep. I just try to tell myself that I'm doing the best I can for my family. That's all that really matters, right? Be proud that you are capable of earning enough money to make it worth putting your kids in daycare!
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Old 08-18-2012, 10:44 PM   #3
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Re: Anyone get sick of the judgement?

i dont know if it's judgement, for us it financially would not make sense to have a wohp.
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Old 08-18-2012, 10:55 PM   #4
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I'm a WOHM right now, because DH has been unemployed. But I have to quit soon, because he is starting a new job and I honest to goodness cannot afford the cost of Child care with what I make.

I would love to keep working, and we certainly need the income, but I can't make it work.

Maybe (some of) the women making these comments are like me - they truly don't have any marketable skill that will bring in enough money to cover child care and have profit.
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Old 08-19-2012, 01:01 AM   #5
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Re: Anyone get sick of the judgement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
i dont know if it's judgement, for us it financially would not make sense to have a wohp.
Quote:
Originally Posted by L J View Post
I'm a WOHM right now, because DH has been unemployed. But I have to quit soon, because he is starting a new job and I honest to goodness cannot afford the cost of Child care with what I make.

I would love to keep working, and we certainly need the income, but I can't make it work.

Maybe (some of) the women making these comments are like me - they truly don't have any marketable skill that will bring in enough money to cover child care and have profit.
Oh I totally understand that, and it still takes a large chunk of my income ( I'm a teacher so I don't make tons of money) and that sucks. I understand that it isn't worth it for everyone, just the people that have said those things have been very condescending. I guess this time of year I always get oversensitive about this, since I am going back to work after the summer
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Old 08-19-2012, 07:53 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyltc

Oh I totally understand that, and it still takes a large chunk of my income ( I'm a teacher so I don't make tons of money) and that sucks. I understand that it isn't worth it for everyone, just the people that have said those things have been very condescending. I guess this time of year I always get oversensitive about this, since I am going back to work after the summer
I would say to you:

I am so jealous of your schedule! I wish, when I were younger and able, I had the foresight to get a degree in education. I would love to work the same schedule as my kids. That must be so comforting to them.

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Old 08-19-2012, 10:57 PM   #7
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Re: Anyone get sick of the judgement?

I get that type of comment a lot, even from an older co-worker who SAH when her kids were younger, but not usually in a condescending tone. I dunno. I know this is what works and is best for my family so I don't give much weight to comments like that--whether in a condescending tone or not. I've been the bread winner up until a year or two ago so this is just how it is for our family. Besides, I know myself well enough to know I'm not really SAHM material.

Now I DO have a problem with people who make comments like, "Why have kids if you are going to pay someone else to raise them?" THAT gets my blood boiling!
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Old 08-20-2012, 12:24 AM   #8
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The quick answer is, "my kids love daycare and aren't missing out on anything."

Besides, does your husband feel guilty for not staying home with them? Equality baby!
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Old 08-20-2012, 08:56 AM   #9
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Re: Anyone get sick of the judgement?

People will always find something to complain about.
I've been on both sides of this, and if you're at home, you're a lazy-good-for-nothing who can't get out of bed to work to support the kids. If you're at work, you obviously don't care enough about your children to give them your attention.
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Old 08-20-2012, 08:59 AM   #10
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Re: Anyone get sick of the judgement?

See it is the opposite where I live. You are looked down upon if you do not work. I get sick of it because I did try to find a job so it makes it all that much worse.
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