Anyone get sick of the judgement?

[amyltc]

Just a vent but I get so tired of people saying to me, oh I could never work and have kids, or that by the time I pay daycare I may as well stay home, or other things that imply that I'm not a good mom if I don't sah. I know live in an area where sah is the norm, but I wish people would turn off the judgement!

[wlillie]

Yep. I just try to tell myself that I'm doing the best I can for my family. That's all that really matters, right? Be proud that you are capable of earning enough money to make it worth putting your kids in daycare!

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

i dont know if it's judgement, for us it financially would not make sense to have a wohp.

[L J]

I'm a WOHM right now, because DH has been unemployed. But I have to quit soon, because he is starting a new job and I honest to goodness cannot afford the cost of Child care with what I make.

I would love to keep working, and we certainly need the income, but I can't make it work.

Maybe (some of) the women making these comments are like me - they truly don't have any marketable skill that will bring in enough money to cover child care and have profit.

[amyltc]

Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes i dont know if it's judgement, for us it financially would not make sense to have a wohp.

Originally Posted by L J I'm a WOHM right now, because DH has been unemployed. But I have to quit soon, because he is starting a new job and I honest to goodness cannot afford the cost of Child care with what I make. I would love to keep working, and we certainly need the income, but I can't make it work. Maybe (some of) the women making these comments are like me - they truly don't have any marketable skill that will bring in enough money to cover child care and have profit.

Oh I totally understand that, and it still takes a large chunk of my income ( I'm a teacher so I don't make tons of money) and that sucks. I understand that it isn't worth it for everyone, just the people that have said those things have been very condescending. I guess this time of year I always get oversensitive about this, since I am going back to work after the summer

[L J]

Originally Posted by amyltc Oh I totally understand that, and it still takes a large chunk of my income ( I'm a teacher so I don't make tons of money) and that sucks. I understand that it isn't worth it for everyone, just the people that have said those things have been very condescending. I guess this time of year I always get oversensitive about this, since I am going back to work after the summer

I would say to you:

I am so jealous of your schedule! I wish, when I were younger and able, I had the foresight to get a degree in education. I would love to work the same schedule as my kids. That must be so comforting to them.

[marvelous]

I get that type of comment a lot, even from an older co-worker who SAH when her kids were younger, but not usually in a condescending tone. I dunno. I know this is what works and is best for my family so I don't give much weight to comments like that--whether in a condescending tone or not. I've been the bread winner up until a year or two ago so this is just how it is for our family. Besides, I know myself well enough to know I'm not really SAHM material.

Now I DO have a problem with people who make comments like, "Why have kids if you are going to pay someone else to raise them?" THAT gets my blood boiling!

[hpfgirl]

The quick answer is, "my kids love daycare and aren't missing out on anything."

Besides, does your husband feel guilty for not staying home with them? Equality baby!

[nothingtosee]

People will always find something to complain about.
I've been on both sides of this, and if you're at home, you're a lazy-good-for-nothing who can't get out of bed to work to support the kids. If you're at work, you obviously don't care enough about your children to give them your attention.

[missydawn]

See it is the opposite where I live. You are looked down upon if you do not work. I get sick of it because I did try to find a job so it makes it all that much worse.