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Old 08-20-2012, 10:47 AM   #11
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Re: I don't want her to go to school :(

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Are you 100% set on sending her? Because to me, I would just keep her home! This is coming from a homeschooling mom though... My DD is almost 4 also, and I couldn't imagine sending her away yet. Just a thought. If you're set on sending her though, I'm sure everything will work out fine.
Yes to this! I always HATED sending my kids to school - we started homeschooling them in grades 3 and 4 and WOW things are amazing. I love having them at home, I love the freedom to go places and do things they otherwise wouldn't get to do. I am going to start HSing my #3 in preschool in a couple weeks! He is going to do one day a week of school with me and one day a week I will take him to a drop in class that I get to stay for. He is still 2 and should be starting school already ... starting K FULL DAY when he is just 4 - not gonna happen!

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Old 08-20-2012, 11:04 AM   #12
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Re: I don't want her to go to school :(

I wish I had some words of comfort or inspiration for you Mama, but my DS2 is going to start on Thursday and I'm in the same boat. It doesn't help that my babysitters child was bullied in that school for most of last year and very little was done to help. I cry whenever I think of him going. Thanks for posting as I've found some reassurance in your post
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:04 AM   #13
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:15 AM   #14
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Re: I don't want her to go to school :(

I think the pp was saying don't focus on her getting hurt focus on how much she will enjoy going to school and all she will get out of it not that you are not focusing on her. More like focus on the positive rather than letting your anxiety about it take the focus since your dd isn't the one with the anxiety.

My dd is very shy and sensitive and she is definitely one who may get targeted in the future but she never had issues with preschool. I got made fun of when I was a kid but none of the kids in preschool ever did. Kids don't really act like that until they get older. It could happen but most likely it won't. It is hard to watch kids grow up and do new milestones.

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Old 08-20-2012, 11:21 AM   #15
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What's best for her is school, if I wasn't focused on what's best for HER, she wouldn't be going. And my feelings matter, children focus on parent's emotions. I'm trying to find a better way to handle the fear of someone hurting HER feelings. Obviously, working on this will be better for HER as you've stated many times.

If you don't understand the thread the first time you read it, reread it or dont reply! This is exactly what I meant by my starred portion in my post.
One: Kandy where did you come from??! Welcome back!!! Two: I remember vividly how hard it was last year for you when dd was starting kindergarten. That is so hard. Three: OP, I also feel the same in regards to yds. I would hate for him to have his feelings hurt, it makes me feel sick. I know what a struggle it can be.
Four: I don't think doodah was in any way deserving of your rude reply. She wasn't calling you out or condemning you, just simply stating what she thought might help. Ds hands out tough love sometimes and usually saying if you don't agree then go away is not going to make for a thread that ends up being helpful to anyone. A train wreck, if you will. It may be a good idea to have this thread moved to ss if you truly can not handle a discussion.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:44 AM   #16
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Re: I don't want her to go to school :(

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One: Kandy where did you come from??! Welcome back!!! Two: I remember vividly how hard it was last year for you when dd was starting kindergarten. That is so hard. Three: OP, I also feel the same in regards to yds. I would hate for him to have his feelings hurt, it makes me feel sick. I know what a struggle it can be.
Four: I don't think doodah was in any way deserving of your rude reply. She wasn't calling you out or condemning you, just simply stating what she thought might help. Ds hands out tough love sometimes and usually saying if you don't agree then go away is not going to make for a thread that ends up being helpful to anyone. A train wreck, if you will. It may be a good idea to have this thread moved to ss if you truly can not handle a discussion.
The way it was written made me feel like she was claiming me to be selfish. With writing and forums it is hard to tell though. So no, I'm not moving it, i can "handle it" its just obviously a sensitive subject. There is no reason this thread can't be helpful, it has been to me and lets not make this an argument. Over and done. Please lets continue the advise.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:45 AM   #17
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We're still a year away from pre-k, but I still find myself panicking over it. My worry is what he will pick up from other kids. DS1 is a VERY sweet, loving, sharing, shockingly well mannered, and completely non-violent kid. Yes, he's still pretty sheltered at 3, but we like it this way.
Whenever he spends time with larger groups of other kids he picks up on behaviors and types of play that we just aren't happy with and we have to spend days or weeks getting our sweet little gentleman back.

He loves everyone and will, without a doubt, have a blast at school so we will send him to pre-k, but *we* would be happier waiting until kindergarten.
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Old 08-20-2012, 11:53 AM   #18
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Re: I don't want her to go to school :(

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My daughter was 4 the first time a kid was truly mean to her at a playdate. We were both in tears on the drive home afterward. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let go. Kids are pretty resilient, though. I think in the long run it was harder on me than it was on her. She learned that some people in this world are just mean for no reason, but life goes on and she has choices. She could choose to be upset by it, or she could find someone else to play with or learn to enjoy playing on her own. She is 9 now and has been happily going to school for years now. She's a happy, well-adjusted kid. I really think she's stronger and more resilient than I am.

ETA: To refer back to your original post, when it happened I did feel like flipping out on the other kid, but I held back. It's a learning experience for us as parents too.
That is very very true. Thank you for the good words of wisdom
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Old 08-20-2012, 12:00 PM   #19
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Re: I don't want her to go to school :(

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We're still a year away from pre-k, but I still find myself panicking over it. My worry is what he will pick up from other kids. DS1 is a VERY sweet, loving, sharing, shockingly well mannered, and completely non-violent kid. Yes, he's still pretty sheltered at 3, but we like it this way.
Whenever he spends time with larger groups of other kids he picks up on behaviors and types of play that we just aren't happy with and we have to spend days or weeks getting our sweet little gentleman back.

He loves everyone and will, without a doubt, have a blast at school so we will send him to pre-k, but *we* would be happier waiting until kindergarten.
I am as well. Kids often act upon what they see. I wanted to wait until Kindergarten too but after I talked with a bunch of moms and another group of moms that worked within the school system they said that children should start in pre-k to learn the 101's with school and what not and that not going to preschool was looked down upon My goodness, when I went to school preschool was an option, I started in Kindergarten.
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Old 08-20-2012, 12:09 PM   #20
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Re: I don't want her to go to school :(

I really don't want anyone to be upset with me so my apologies if I came across as rude, that was not my intention! I jumped the gun at feeling I guess "attacked" about the topic. This really is about HER, honestly, she is my #1 priority on this. And although I do -do these things like focus on the good that will come out of it, I feel like I'm faking it to her and that's not what I want. I'm really just trying to focus on making this a positive experience for her and I feel like my actions and my emotions towards it need to be changed in order for her to get the 100% good feedback. Kindest regards, Samantha
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