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Old 09-09-2012, 01:37 PM   #1
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Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

Hi all! I'm currently BF my 6 mo baby, and although in the big picture I'd be glad if we do have more kids, this wouldn't be the best time.

We originally wanted 4 we thought, and I'm over 30, so we wanted to have them close for the sake of squeezing them all in - but now I feel overwhelmed with the two we have.

Using only condoms, "we" perfectly timed 25 months between #1 and #2, although now it feels like that was maybe too close. So we'd like to try for a 3 year spacing next time, if we decide to have any more at all.

Where is the best place to learn about NFP so that I do it right?

From the little I know of it, I'd like to only do certain parts of the system, is that stupid?

I see a lot of signatures with 4 and 5 kids, how in the world do you do it, and does spacing seem to make any difference when you're bringing home a new baby?

I'm somewhat nervous of having a 'security breech' while I'm BF. How would I know with no AF? We conceived the first month of TTC with both babies, so it seems like we won't have much room for error.

Thanks for reading, I tried to make this as coherent as possible, but struggled.

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Old 09-09-2012, 04:10 PM   #2
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

I'm using FAM right now, which is just about the same thing as NFP except you are "allowed" to use barrier methods during your fertile time. I learned charting from Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and I chart using Fertility Friend online.

I will say the number one thing is to chart for a few months (3-6) before really relying on it for TTA. This much probably won't make all that much sense if you aren't already familiar with the method, but since we are VERY TTA we use an even more conservative approach. We don't use the dry day rule, and only have unprotected sex 4 days after ovulation. The "rule" is the night of the third day is safe, but we do 4th just in case that first high temp is a fluke.

Depending on the length of your luteul phase, and what rules you follow, you may not have a lot of "Safe" days, which can be frustrating to some. It is a method that it kind of hard to only do halfway, though. What certain parts did you want to do/not do?

Also, the three year age gap is wonderful. Mine are three years and one month apart.
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:46 PM   #3
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

Is "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" a book? What are you charting, is it just taking your temperature - I could handle that, but I thought there was something about mucus (sorry, not to be blunt), but that's the part I have no interest in doing.

It sounds like FAM is probably more the direction I would be going then, with barrier use, but is it hard to keep track of what days you do what? I don't want to be like, 'wait, let me go check my schedule'
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Old 09-09-2012, 08:54 PM   #4
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

I'll be watching this. I feel so much better off the pill. I got married at 20 and started taking b/c pills then. Stopped after a few months to ttc and didn't get pregnant for a year but once he was born I was on the mini pill then once he weaned on the regular pill then went off to ttc about 6 months later, got prego right away, again with the pills but on for 3 years, then prego, then mini pill while nursing. Once ds3 weaned we had planned to start trying a month later so I didn't go back on. My sex drive is through the roof, I don't cry like I used to, I love not being on the pill! Although I had some health issues so we decided to not try just yet. All that said, I've been on the pill or prego for the past 10 years and I would love to take control of my fertility myself. Good luck OP!
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Old 09-09-2012, 10:18 PM   #5
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

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Originally Posted by SweetMamaKaty View Post
Is "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" a book? What are you charting, is it just taking your temperature - I could handle that, but I thought there was something about mucus (sorry, not to be blunt), but that's the part I have no interest in doing.

It sounds like FAM is probably more the direction I would be going then, with barrier use, but is it hard to keep track of what days you do what? I don't want to be like, 'wait, let me go check my schedule'
The cervical mucus is the easiest part. All you do is pay attention to it's consistency when you wipe after peeing. When it look like egg whites it means you're fertile. Super simple.
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Old 09-09-2012, 10:58 PM   #6
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the cervical mucous isn't as bad as it sound. I would definitely start by reading tanking charge of your fertility. You will learn so much about your body. Then you can better make a decision of what you want to do

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Old 09-10-2012, 12:18 PM   #7
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

I come from a different perspective (probably because I teach NFP), but I think it's much easier to learn (and use effectively in the beginning) with the advice of a good teacher. Temperatures aren't really any help when you're postpartum, but haven't had AF yet. Temperatures only tell you that ovulation has already passed - you need to observe cervical mucus to know that ovulation is approaching to successfully use NFP post-partum.

One thought about using barrier methods during times of fertility - the published effectiveness rates for condoms are based on random acts of intercourse. Most of those times, the woman was probably naturally infertile. if you consistently choose to use condoms on the days of peak fertility, it makes sense that the effectiveness for avoiding pregnancy would be lower.
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Old 09-10-2012, 12:40 PM   #8
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

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Temperatures aren't really any help when you're postpartum, but haven't had AF yet. Temperatures only tell you that ovulation has already passed - you need to observe cervical mucus to know that ovulation is approaching to successfully use NFP post-partum.
I see. hmmm. I did check the book out from the library today, need to get reading I guess. I think I was secretly hoping for something easy like, just skip every other Tuesday, and you're golden. Hopefully the book is pretty detailed. I also went to the fertility friend website, but didn't have time to sign up right then, maybe I'll go back and let them send me the training emails.

Thank you everyone!
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Old 09-17-2012, 08:10 PM   #9
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

I think really the easiest thing to do is to go on youtube and watch videos of nfp and fam that way you can get the gist. I think a book is overkill and a little confusing and maybe overwhelming. i have been using nfp and fam for a few years now and that is how I learned-watching everyday people like myself teaching it on youtube. you can post questions on the videos and the people will help you. I think a book is really helpful every now and then when you have a very technical detailed question but its not the place to start. I myself made a youtube slideshow:

the video is very detailed so you may have to watch it many times before you "get it".
all I do is start taking my temperature when my period is ending and I start looking out for the fertile mucus and 3 days after the shift in temperature and disappearance of the mucus I know I am no longer fertile. I abstain for about a week every month. I see now that you have not had an AF and I dont think my vid is helpful until you have a regular cycle- but you can find other vids that are specifically pp with no af. or you can try a creighton class that is a popular method for BF moms.
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Old 09-20-2012, 01:21 PM   #10
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Re: Various questions, re: nfp, having more kids, potential tmi, etc

I am also TTA while using FAM. I chart on Fertility Friend, and have found it to be very helpful. I was able to conceive both of my children on FAM, but it has been a little hard to resume charting because of life situations since my second has been born. I highly recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". Even without charting, I have an idea what my body is doing when. For example, I knew I was ovulating a few days ago because I was having pain and the mucus signal lined up.

I totally understand you being hesitant after having two to conceive more. I am in the same boat as you. I struggle with the pressure from others wanting us to have more, and the feeling of being so totally overwhelmed and exhausted now. Even though others (or at least those around me) keep saying to me that 3 is no big deal because it's the jump from one to two that is the really hard part, it doesn't make me feel any better.

Anyway, all that to say FAM and the information that the book teaches will be helpful to you. I think it will at least make you more informed about your body and what is going on!
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