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Old 08-21-2012, 12:10 PM   #11
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Its harsh to hear, but people can use whatever names they want. Just because someone uses a name doesnt mean you cant, either.

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Old 08-21-2012, 12:14 PM   #12
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That would make me mad, but it also sounds like there's a chance of miscommunication. Have you talked to SIL and they're decided on that name? Here are some ways I can imagine what went down: MIL tells SIL your names, MIL may not have said that those are your for-sure names, SIL thinks they're just ideas. Or SIL gushes over your name, MIL mistakenly tells you SIL is going to use it when she doesn't intend to. Whatever happened, you and/or your DH need to talk to SIL and be clear. That's the name you're using if you have a girl, this pregnancy or in the future (if applicable). Then it's up to her if she wants the same name.

More distant family wouldn't really bug me, but I can't imagine cousins with the same name. Just weird ya know? For example I have a younger cousin, not married, no kids, who's already mentioned she'd probably use my DD's name but it's our grandma's middle name and her (my cousin's) middle name. So it makes sense.

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Old 08-21-2012, 12:36 PM   #13
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Re: SIL wants to take our baby name

I would tell her that you're still naming your baby that, and you should.
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:03 PM   #14
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Re: SIL wants to take our baby name

I have never understood the idea of a name being "yours". My first name is so common that growing up EVERYONE had the same name as me. I never needed therapy for it or did it cause me to be less fulfilled as a person. The other day my two dd's were playing princesses and they both wanted the same name,I told them they could both have it. I think it is good advice here too. Honestly this all seems so silly claiming ownership over a name. You both a have healthy babies and that are loved. So many people would give anything for that,just enjoy it and stop focusing on things that don't matter. I would think of a really great middle name and not worry about it. Being Catholic all the families we know have a Joseph,Mary,Gabriel ,ect and no one has ever talked about stealing names.
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:10 PM   #15
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Re: SIL wants to take our baby name

What's the name?

You just have to decide if you want the drama or not. If so, talk to your dh and with both of you present, calmly explain and tell her that you plan on talking to the sil. Then talk to the sil (together as a united front) and in a non-confrontational way, let her know the name means a lot to you and you really want to use it and not have a cousin with the same name. If she goes ahead and uses it, then I would venture to say she either really doesn't think it is a big deal or she's just being a jerk. Only you can say which it is because you know her personality. But what is done is done. So let go of the name and keep mum and maybe she won't use that after all (fingers crossed) or bring up the topic.

This is part of the reason why I prefer not to even pick a name until the baby is born. I keep a short list and then decide. Also, hide the list. lol!
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:14 PM   #16
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Re: SIL wants to take our baby name

I have two cousins named Elizabeth/Elisabeth. I don't know if it caused any sibling drama, but I've never heard any. Hasn't been a big deal in our family.

I'd just confirm with SIL and let her know you still intend to use the name even if she does too. Actually I'd let DH do the talking since it's his family anyway.
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:19 PM   #17
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Re: SIL wants to take our baby name

Quote:
Originally Posted by mamatoclaire View Post
More distant family wouldn't really bug me, but I can't imagine cousins with the same name. Just weird ya know?
I have a cousin with the same name as mine. She's older, but its my mom's middle name. I'll have to remember to ask if it caused any drama when my mom was expecting, but I know it was never an issue when I was growing up.
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Old 08-21-2012, 01:25 PM   #18
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Re: SIL wants to take our baby name

I'd be upset, but I've always gone with "first come, first served" as far as names go. If your heart is still set on the name, I would go ahead and use it. Its not like your child will be with its cousin 24/7 and be confused. FWIW- I'm pregnant (tech thinks girl) after 2 boys and most of my friends had girls so many of my fave names are "taken." I'm trying to expand my choices and choose other names, but I do know its easier said than done.
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Old 08-21-2012, 02:41 PM   #19
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Re: SIL wants to take our baby name

Off topic True story - I know of two sisters with the same name....the older sister was allowed to pick the name of the younger at birth and when asked what they should name the baby, she said her own name and they named the baby the same name.
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Old 08-21-2012, 02:58 PM   #20
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Off topic True story - I know of two sisters with the same name....the older sister was allowed to pick the name of the younger at birth and when asked what they should name the baby, she said her own name and they named the baby the same name.
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