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Old 10-24-2012, 04:43 PM   #1
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HELP please! 2.5yo doesn't "like" her lil sister...

Hello experienced moms, I REALLY need your opinions/advice!
This is a longer post, so in one sentence I would say:
Big sister doesn't care about little sister.

WHen my DD#1 was 19mo, our second girl was born. She didn't want the baby to be in my arms, was upset when I was breastfeeding her, didn't play with her, well, ignored her. I thought that it will change soon... I thought DD#1 was acting like that because she was too young when DD#2 was born...

Now, my eldest daughter is 2.5 yo. and the younger sister is 11 mo. DD#2 is fascinated by her older sister, follows her and wants to be around her. But DD#1 ALWAYS goes away from her, takes her toys, doesn't share with her.
DD#1 is good at sharing with other kids though!
Sometimes (rarely!) DD#1 would go to DD#2 and "explain" her something in babylanguage, and she will only handle her a toy if I ask her to.
DD#1 tells she loves daddy, mommy, but doesnt mention DD#2, so I have to ask about her, and then she either says she loves her too or she says she doesnt (and makes a silly face like she's joking)

We are expecting baby#3 in 6 months from now (DD#1 will be over 3yo then) and I don't know how to handle the situation. I would hate her being the same with the baby!
My sister has a 2.5yo DS#1 who LOVES his little sister who is 9mo. Im so jealous!

So, is her behavior towards DD#2 normal? Will it change (I hope so!), What should I do to make it better?
Do I have to tell her it will be HER baby so she accepts better?
THank you so much for your opinions and advice!

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Old 10-24-2012, 04:48 PM   #2
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Re: HELP please! 2.5yo doesn't "like" her lil sister...

Do you involve her with DD2? Like ask her to help you change diapers, get toys, etc? Do you get to spend alone time with DD1?
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Old 10-24-2012, 04:54 PM   #3
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Re: HELP please! 2.5yo doesn't "like" her lil sister...

yes I tried to get her invoived from the beginning but she showed no interest (like in diaper changing for example). I do have time with DD#1 when DD#2 naps, or when I put her to bed, or usually we have breakfast together while DD#2 still sleeps. Actually, this summer my family told me that I spend too much time with DD#1...
If DD#1 takes a toy from DD#2, I ask her if she has her little sister permission. She goes to her little sister and asks her in babylanguage, and turns to me and says "she said yes!". SO I tell her to give her little sister a toy so she can play too, and DD#1 handles DD#2 one of DD#2's toys.
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Old 10-24-2012, 05:10 PM   #4
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Re: HELP please! 2.5yo doesn't "like" her lil sister...

Yes it's normal. My now 4 yr old refused to acknowledge my now 2 yr old for the longest time. In fact, it wasn't until my youngest arrived on 10/12, that the 4 yr old JUST starting giving the 2 yr old a kiss/hug goodnight before bed. Previously, for the entire 2 yrs of DD3's life, DD2 would outright refuse any night time greeting with her sister. There was never any outright animosity or active dislike. She wasn't mean to her or anything like that. She would just deliberately ignore her.
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Old 10-24-2012, 07:35 PM   #5
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Re: HELP please! 2.5yo doesn't "like" her lil sister...

I think it's normal. Right around three was a tough time for my DD siblings aside.
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Old 10-24-2012, 10:19 PM   #6
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Re: HELP please! 2.5yo doesn't "like" her lil sister...

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
There was never any outright animosity or active dislike. She wasn't mean to her or anything like that. She would just deliberately ignore her.
This is exactly what happens, you describe it perfectly!
Thank you, I am glad to know that this is normal. Two years like that seem so long though! I guess I have to try to support any manifestation of sympathy of DD#1 towards DD#2. Hopefully, baby#3 will maybe change that situation too.
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Old 10-24-2012, 10:22 PM   #7
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Re: HELP please! 2.5yo doesn't "like" her lil sister...

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaR View Post
I think it's normal. Right around three was a tough time for my DD siblings aside.
IMO, DD#1 is quite advanced for her age (I mean her sensitivity is very high for certain things, she is very emotional too, I think) so that might also play a role?

And maybe it is more a problem between siblings of same sex than boy-girl?
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