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Old 08-29-2012, 10:14 AM   #1
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Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

My 3rd child just turned 5 on 8/21. He went to a great public 4K program last year, and started 5K this year at the local public school on 8/1. He is the youngest in the class, as the cut off here is 9/1. I really wish I had held him back and sent him to 4K this year.
I should have known better. He is a bit immature for his age, was behind on his speech and has been in speech since 2.5 (he still is, but only needs it for articulation now and is doing well). He is impulsive and always has been. He is improving with time and discipline, but it is just taking him longer than my other kids to gain that self-control. He is also just a quirky little guy. He is a huge sweetheart and has these big brown eyes that can melt your heart. He just marches to the beat of his own drum. He is also a lefty and thinks about/looks at things differently than other kids.
He is on track academically. He picks up what the teacher puts down and is obviously paying enough attention in class to learn. However, I worry that Kindergarten is too much for him in terms of the amount of time the kids have to sit still, the amount of work given, and the self-control he needs to succeed. More days than not he comes home with notes about having trouble settling down and controlling himself. He has the most trouble in line, but I get the feeling he is exhausting the teacher all day. He slapped one of his classmates in the lunch line the other day. His reason? The boy would not stop talking and Luke wanted a turn to talk. I work very hard with him at home and there is a lot of opportunity, as he has siblings that are 3, 6 and 11. We also have neighbor kids over here all the time (all older than him).
And, the most heartbreaking part- this literally made me cry- is that he says he has no friends and that the other kids don't like him. I am taking it with a grain of salt, but Luke is a pretty social kid and makes friends easily. However, I have seen this issue with the neighbor kids- he can be socially inappropriate and it can cause other kids not to want to play with him.
It is breaking my heart to send him off to school each day. I asked the teacher for a conference, so I can get a better picture of what all is going on.
I am really thinking about taking him out of K and putting him in a private 4K this year. I think it will give him more time to mature and he will do much better in K next year. I worry leaving him in K will set him up to struggle for the rest of his school career.

What do you think? Have any of you done this before? Thanks in advance. And be honest, I have a thick skin.

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Old 08-29-2012, 10:23 AM   #2
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

Based on what you are saying, I would totally do it.

My little guy who turned 4 at the beginning of July just started his first day in 4K at a private preschool. Our cutoff here is also September 1st. This is our year to watch him closely. If we/his teacher gets the impression he could use another year, we will send him to 5K private and then to 5K public so he will have that extra time to mature.

I think that after meeting with his teacher, you should make your choice. Giving him that extra year may not solve all his problems, but it will help make them less for sure!

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Old 08-29-2012, 10:29 AM   #3
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

It sounds as though he isn't quite ready for kindergarten. I would probably have him put back in pre-k.
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Old 08-29-2012, 01:56 PM   #4
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

sounds like academically he is ready, just not socially.

Talking with the teacher will help. You can come up with ideas together on how to help him socially(making friends, sitting still, controlling our actions)

If he is academically ready pulling him out may cause the similar issues next year if he is bored.

Is repeating K an option?
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Old 08-29-2012, 02:51 PM   #5
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

With what you said, it may be best to put him in a prek4 program. He may need that time to develop socially. As for being bored, I'm sure it will happen but I'd fear the alternative that school will become difficult for him due to his lack of impulse control. My guy is 5.5 and did just start kinder in a private semi homeschool program. When he just turned 5, there is no way he would have been ready socially but academically yes. He's sharp but that impulse control is STILL causing problems but it seems to be less and less as he ages.
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Old 08-29-2012, 02:58 PM   #6
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

On the other side of this, I was a September baby and ALWAYS the oldest in my class. My districts cut off was October 10th (weird) but my mother chose to to keep me back and it hated it. He sounds like he is on target academically and it is so early in the year. Getting used to the class routine should help a lot.
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Old 08-29-2012, 03:12 PM   #7
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

I say follow your gut. I have a friend with 2 summer birthday kids. Both her kids started school at just 5 and are the youngest in their class. With her 2nd in particular she almost pulled her out of K but decided to stick it out. Every year she says her girls struggle more and more keeping up with expectations. They just aren't quite ready yet. Her oldest is in 4th grade now and she says she wishes she'd listened to her gut and waited a year. It is more and more noticeable as time goes on that her girls are younger than the rest of the kids.

So I say if adter you meet with the teacher, your gut says to pull him and wait, do so. I doubt you regreat holding him back but you might regret continuing on. We had this debate with dd2 this year since she turned 5 the day before school started. The principle said she has never once heard of anyone regretting to wait with school but she hears from parents every year who wish they had waited - especially as these kids hit 3rd/4th grade.
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Old 08-29-2012, 03:16 PM   #8
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

We will be in this same position next year.

My boy sounds just like yours, speech delay and impulsivity and all. He has an August birthday and we have a September 1 cutoff too. I'm leaning towards private k if we can afford it, and then decide on public k, private 1, or public 1 from there. I just don't know. As a teacher I have seen the struggle that some young kinders go through. Another option is k this year, part time k mixed with part 1 the year after, and then regular 1 the year after that.
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Old 08-29-2012, 03:24 PM   #9
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

as a k teacher...I notice a HUGE HUGE difference in Summer boys. They are exactly like your son.

Go with your gut. If you think he's not ready then it will come out that way and he won't be.

Chat with the teacher and see what she recommends.

I had a boy one year that the parents put him in K (he's bday was on the cut off day) basically for free daycare. They knew he wasn't ready and they knew they were going to send him to a private K the following year. This boy was not ready emotionally/socially and had very few friends He would whine everytime he was asked to do something...even when he could very well do it.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

our cut off is August 31st. DD's bday is Sept 11th. We do have the option to test in to K. She is a very bright cookie...but there is no way I'm going to enter her when she isn't ready.

my fil started K when he was 4 (bday Sept 30th) and he hated it. My mom started K at 4 (bday Sept 20th) she did awesome.

DH is June bday and his parents sent him to a private K then public K the following year. He did very well in school.
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Old 08-29-2012, 03:27 PM   #10
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Re: Thinking of taking my son out of Kindergarten

In your situation, I would have no hesitation pulling him and putting him in a 4K program. Sounds like he is just yet socially ready for kinder yet.
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