HELP1 2.5 YR DD refuses the potty

[clexiske06]

Hey Everyone,


looking for advise from mommas that have been there done that. My DD is 2.5 and i tried potty training her about a week ago ( but then got really sick so had to stop) so i started back up today and she throws a kicking screaming fit if i ask her or try to get her to go potty. I knew she had to poop so i asked her over and over and tried to coax her to the potty and she said she couldnt so sure enough about 10 mins later she was pooping in her pants!! All morning she hasnt gone pee and just now i kept asking and bribing with candy and stickers and i finally tried to pick her up and set her on the potty and she screamed and kicked and threw a fit so i left her alone and sure enough she started peeing all over the floor and was bawling. I dont know what to do :-(
She has peed once on the potty and she got TONS of praise and stickers and candy and all that but now she has done this today and i have no idea if i should keep pushing it or just wait till she gets a little older. She wont tell me when she poops her diaper or pees. She infact will tell me she didnt when she cleary has.
I feel like a terrible mother for not having her potty trained already She is a very very bright and smart little girl but somehow the potty thing is just not there?

[amandajiggles]

Subbing... DD is going to be 3 this weekend and we've gone from the stage your DD is at when she was the same age to her being SUPER interested in the potty, but still not interested in actually going. We told her that she needs to use the potty in order to go to school next year and that is our biggest motivation. We tell her all of the people (big and small) she knows that use the potty. We've done stickers.. and treats... and toys and any other bribe. It just does not work for our strong willed little girl.

Hang in there! If I figure it out in the next few weeks I'll gladly pass along what worked for us. Once our company leaves after next week we're going to do some SERIOUS potty training. No undies... not using the potty will not be an option.

[Mom2jandb]

Sorry, I have no advice... Maybe you would have better luck in the potty training forum? Or are you specifically looking for an EC perspective?

Can you get her to pee in the shower? My 3yo DD loves to pee in the shower (when it's on). Do you have activities you can do while on the pot to keep her there and help her relax?

I hope you get it figured out!

[shen7]

From an EC perspective, it's important not to coerce with shame/praise, and NOT to make her sit on the potty if she doesn't want to. The potty should be a happy place. But, it is also important to develop bodily awareness. It sounds like she is very "diaper trained" and finds it distressing to go outside a diaper. The only ways to get past this are a. Take away the diapers (it will be messy, maybe try to stay naked in the backyard or something) - even if just for a few hours a week, and/or b. Wait until she is ready. If the latter it may involve waiting a long time, maybe even until other kids make fun of her for wearing diapers. Good luck, it sounds like a difficult situation. My SIL has a 4 y.o. still in diapers, her attempts at PT at 3 years failed and it was partly due to watching her experience that I started EC when my DD was 5-6 months old.

[krispy79]

Originally Posted by Mom2jandb Sorry, I have no advice... Maybe you would have better luck in the potty training forum? Or are you specifically looking for an EC perspective?

Potty Training forum is gone

I second just taking away the diapers, as long as she has them she will do what she is used to doing in them... Diapers are for pooping in you can't unteach that. Give her a bare bottom or undies and just be consistent "We go peepee or poopy in the potty."
Remember accidents happen and she has to relearn, so just be patient and not so hard on yourself.

[Mom2jandb]

Originally Posted by krispy79 Potty Training forum is gone .

I think it is under Parenting now

[clexiske06]

Oh okay. I thought EC ment the same thing. :-p my bad.

[clexiske06]

Oh and yes to answer the question about EC perspective. I didn't know there was such a thing. So I'm thinking I'm looking at this from a potty training perspective. :-p

[Mom2jandb]

Originally Posted by clexiske06 Oh and yes to answer the question about EC perspective. I didn't know there was such a thing. So I'm thinking I'm looking at this from a potty training perspective. :-p

Here is what I would do. Just make potties available to her. Have them sitting around (in the bathroom and anywhere else you will have one). Even if you just have one potty. Don't make her try to use it. Just talk about it, read books about potty, and encourage her to try it when she is already naked, like before or after bath. Pee in it yourself if you have to to show her what to do. If she hasn't at least tried it a few times a month from now, reevaluate.

[clexiske06]

I have one in the bathroom and it's been there for a long time. I ask her every morning and night if she wants to wear her pretty panties ( I have tons a different pretty ones) she freaks out and says noooooo noo noo mom I can't. Every time. We have another potty ( she has peed once in) it sings when you pee or poop in it and she was excited about that for the one and only day I got her to pee in it. Now she flips out about it. I will ask her if she wants to pee or poop on the potty and she can have a sticker or m&m's. She still says she can't. I feel like I'm hitting a very thick brick wall!!!! I have lots of potty books and Elmo's potty DVD, she will even sing the song!