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Old 08-31-2012, 04:41 PM   #11
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

Wow. The punishments seem excessive for 7 year olds. But no lunch?? They can't do that can they? I would definitely clarify the information. Good luck!

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Old 08-31-2012, 04:49 PM   #12
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

Thanks Emerino, I appreciate it! I hate that her year is starting off like this. She usually loves school and begs to go. And I love her school, we are in a great school district! And I've always had the most respect for teachers which is why I always try to volunteer and bring them extra supplies throughout the year to show that we are thankful. But my daughter and my mama instincts are telling me this isn't okay at all!

And MCPFOREVER, You said that I should make sure her teacher knows I'm on her side and so is my daughter. Well that's not how I feel. I feel like I should always support my daughter and HER well being and so should her teacher. It's a struggle to leave your little ones with strangers but you have to be able to trust them and feel like they are looking out for them. But I do appreciate your opinion anyways! That's why I wanted to see what others think, so I can be prepared for how her teacher feels, but it doesn't change the facts for me, just gives me perspective!! Thanks!!
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Old 08-31-2012, 04:52 PM   #13
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

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I have NO problem with the punishments at all! I think they make sense, I DO have a problem with what they get punished for! If my kid had to walk laps or sit alone at lunch in front of everyone because her stomach was bothering her then yes I have a HUGE problem with that. I'm not for embarrassing kids as a tool for teaching purposes. If you have a problem with a kid going too much then speak to that child about it or their parents. Same as the passive aggressive thing, you want that as a rule than they should be able to understand your what you require of them. It's only fair.

The number thing wouldn't bother me if all her supplies didn't say Westin on it, so when she calls the number 5 she also calls her Westin! Which has happened more than once. I provide her with all her school supplies and extras for her teacher and the class. This I think is just dumb!

And to each their own on the believing your kids bit. I work with my kids very hard about telling the truth and the importance of telling the exact truth. I'm not going to debate that because I think that's more of a parenting thing than a school thing.

And yes they got a reward today, they all got to chew gum in class!!!!
I apologize for not picking up that the bolded was your main concern. There was a lot in your OP and I guess I zoned in on the not so main idea there. Sorry about that.

I'm not sure how you've reached the conclusion that your DD would be walking laps because her stomach was hurting though. Your DD is definitely stressed and her stomach is bothering her due to stress, not due to her holding her bladder/bowels indefinitely. Yes?

I do agree that passive agressive is too vague and needs to be worded (and explained) more concretely.

Have you tried to alleviate your DD's stress over the situation? Have you given her any reassurance?

"The sub was exaggerating/using hyperbole. They can't take lunch away from you."

Did you formulate a plan with her to ensure she takes care of her toileting needs so she can prevent emergencies as much as possible?
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Old 08-31-2012, 04:53 PM   #14
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

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Wow. The punishments seem excessive for 7 year olds. But no lunch?? They can't do that can they? I would definitely clarify the information. Good luck!
No they can't do that, it was just a threat. The problem with threatening a 7 year old is they don't know that their teachers don't have to power to do that. So when she came home she was worried that if some of the other kids (who are kind of getting known for not minding ) were loud the next day, then she might not get to have lunch! We had to explain to her that it was not going to happen like that but it definitely added to her stressing this week!
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Old 08-31-2012, 04:57 PM   #15
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

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<snip>

And MCPFOREVER, You said that I should make sure her teacher knows I'm on her side and so is my daughter. Well that's not how I feel. I feel like I should always support my daughter and HER well being and so should her teacher. It's a struggle to leave your little ones with strangers but you have to be able to trust them and feel like they are looking out for them. But I do appreciate your opinion anyways! That's why I wanted to see what others think, so I can be prepared for how her teacher feels, but it doesn't change the facts for me, just gives me perspective!! Thanks!!
I operate from the exact same viewpoint. The difference is that I assume that my children's teachers do as well. So basically, I support the teacher supporting my children's well being. I have found that more often than not, there's a communication breakdown that needs to be addressed for the teacher to properly support the child's well being.

It sounds like you are assuming something different. That pits you against the teacher instead of helping you to work with her to support your DD. Make sense?
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:02 PM   #16
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

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I'm not sure how you've reached the conclusion that your DD would be walking laps because her stomach was hurting though. Your DD is definitely stressed and her stomach is bothering her due to stress, not due to her holding her bladder/bowels indefinitely. Yes?

Did you formulate a plan with her to ensure she takes care of her toileting needs so she can prevent emergencies as much as possible?
No, that's not what I meant. I meant if later during the year say she has a stomach ache and needs to use the bathroom more often than usual, then I want her to know that she isn't going to be punished for it. Does that make sense?

I did tell her to go to the bathroom when they allow it, and to follow her teachers rules because they are there for a reason. But that if she has to go then she needs to ask her teacher and not worry about the color changes. I told her there is no way she will walk laps for having to use the restroom. And if they tell her she has to then she needs to go to the office and call me. But we've also talked about why the rule is there because sometimes kids want a break and or want to play but that is not okay which she understands!
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:08 PM   #17
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

Thats so extreme! I was always so much better as a kid for teachers that didn't try to scare you into behaving. In 4th grade I had a teacher who often wouldn't let us go to the bathroom and one time during a test I had to go really bad and was scared to ask so I eventually couldn't hold it and peed on the floor. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life (at least until in high school a kid announced in class I was playing footsie with the guy next to me that now takes the cake)
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:11 PM   #18
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

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Yeah I never said your daughter was a lier...but she may be misinterpreting things and believes them to be true.
Let me just say that I didn't say that you called my daughter a liar, I don't think you would have done that, nor would I accuse you of it. Sorry if that's the way it came out. I was just saying that I personally don't think she lied, fabricated or stretched the truth. When I picked her up from class 3 kids had their colors changed because of going to the bathroom! So that I know is true. And I know she asked to go to the nurse and her teacher said no. That's pretty basic! Also I have a list of the rules I mentioned, and all the consequences. I don't know what there is to be unsure of.
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:15 PM   #19
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

Seems like you could definitely use a meeting with the teacher just to clarify things. Your daughter is hopefully misinterpreting things and it isn't as bad as she says.
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:15 PM   #20
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Re: Horrible first week of 2nd grade!!!

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Thats so extreme! I was always so much better as a kid for teachers that didn't try to scare you into behaving. In 4th grade I had a teacher who often wouldn't let us go to the bathroom and one time during a test I had to go really bad and was scared to ask so I eventually couldn't hold it and peed on the floor. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life (at least until in high school a kid announced in class I was playing footsie with the guy next to me that now takes the cake)
LOL!!! That's funny about the playing footsie!!! But I was worried that she would have an accident and be stuck with the same kids for years known as the kid that peed in class!! And kids can't hold it as long as adults can, that would be mortifying!!!
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