Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-01-2012, 02:54 PM   #1
mcpforever's Avatar
mcpforever
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bama
Posts: 11,738
My Mood:
Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

Am I mean, cruel, and heartless to expect normal, healthy, school aged children to be able to regulate their bodily functions like toileting?

I don't expect it automatically. I do expect it to be a gradual process that their parents and teachers guide them to do. Basically, I expect teachers to give reasonably timed and spaced toilet breaks and I expect children to be able to utilize them-aka try even if they don't think they "need" to go.

I know that by the time I was in jr high school, I had to figure out when to use the restroom between classes, before school, at lunch, etc. I learned to not drink my entire super slurpee during the previews of a movie if I wanted to make it through the entire 2 hours.

To be clear, I don't support the idea of denying access to the bathroom for a child who needs it even if it is because the child did not use their bathroom time for toileting when they had it. I am ok with a teacher placing restrictions on the usage. "No, Johnny, you went just 30 minutes ago and we will go as a class in 15 more minutes." I am ok with a teacher structuring her rules so that there are consequences for failing to plan well as long as it is reasonable and age appropriate.

Again, I am only talking about normal, healthy, school-aged children. I do think the process can start as soon as the child is potty learned though. Shoot. It's how some toddlers learn in the first place.

Advertisement

__________________
Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 DD 7/13
ISO: my lost shaker of salt
mcpforever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 03:24 PM   #2
CarrieMF's Avatar
CarrieMF
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Alberta/Saskatchewan
Posts: 6,545
My Mood:
If you are i am too. Kids can and do wait. Most of the time they ate waiting for the teacher to stop instructing and then they are allowed to go or they are waiting for the next class change and can go then. Most of the time when kids soil themselves at school it is because they aren't coming in from recess to use the bathroom. Peeing in class is rare. Kids are more likely to throw up in the classroom which can have no warning.
__________________
Carrie
CarrieMF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 03:36 PM   #3
pumkinsmommy's Avatar
pumkinsmommy
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 6,472
My Mood:
Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

I think it is part of the lack of training that goes on in general with so many children today.
__________________
Theresa - sahm to sweet, baby(big girl ) Caroline who was born on 1-23-07 after her mommy dreamed of her for a lifetime
pumkinsmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 03:54 PM   #4
HeatherlovesCDs
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 10,081
My Mood:
Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

My kids are homeschooled, so at school it's a non-issue. However, I agree with you.
__________________
Heather SAHM to 6 who are 7 and under, including 2 sets of twins and our last little miracle, a surviving identical twin, born Oct 2012!
HeatherlovesCDs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 04:11 PM   #5
joeslittlewoman's Avatar
joeslittlewoman
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 3,925
I dunno. I peed (completely) when prompted and when needed as a child. If I had a normal sized drink with a meal, I would go at least once during meal time, then get a very strong need to pee again within 5-10min, then again 5-10min later. I remember how stressful it was to have to wait because adults couldn't understand I really NEEDED to go. Maybe I had/have a small bladder, but I've always been normal, healthy, and "prepared". Road trips were torture, but I very rarely had a teacher who wasn't understanding, thankfully.

I am still that way. As an adult it is a bit easier to plan and a bit easier to wait, but also I don't have to worry about getting in trouble for having to pee. I have a small coffee on the way to church, pee when I get there, again as service starts, then a lot of times I have to pee before service is over or as it is ending. Glad it is not a huge deal now, lol. If I have a full glass of water, or more, it is much worse.
__________________
Wife to Joe. Proud, tired mommy to Captain Destructive (6/09), Sir Screams-a-lot (8/10), and another little miracle due 3/13.
Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest.

Last edited by joeslittlewoman; 09-01-2012 at 04:12 PM.
joeslittlewoman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 04:13 PM   #6
Samandy's Avatar
Samandy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Winchestertonfieldville
Posts: 5,252
My Mood:
Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

Well I was a "normal, healthy school aged child" and was mortified more than once (not to mention the horrible teasing that went along with it) from peeing my pants in class due to not being excused to use the restroom. Not all bladders are the same, even when they're healthy.
__________________
"Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids, who had to drown His own?" ~ Robert Green Ingersoll
Samandy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 04:19 PM   #7
NikiG's Avatar
NikiG
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 329
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samandy
Well I was a "normal, healthy school aged child" and was mortified more than once (not to mention the horrible teasing that went along with it) from peeing my pants in class due to not being excused to use the restroom. Not all bladders are the same, even when they're healthy.
Yup. I KNEW better but my bladder didn't and I peed my pants more than once in JHS and HS. If a child truly has the need, let them go.
NikiG is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 04:21 PM   #8
KaleidoscopeEyes's Avatar
KaleidoscopeEyes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Springfield Missouri
Posts: 14,814
My Mood:
Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

plus lets not forget that sometimes people get diarrhea or girls need to change their tampon/pad
__________________
Super crunchy, atheist, vegetarian, liberal WOH and student mama to 4 wonderful, smart homeschooling kids Wesley 16, Seth 9, Pandora Moonlilly 5 and Nevermore Stargazer 2, married to my awesome sahd artist hubby and partner to my amazing writer/techy boyfriend
KaleidoscopeEyes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 04:33 PM   #9
ktmelody
No Longer Here
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 20,304
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Samandy
Well I was a "normal, healthy school aged child" and was mortified more than once (not to mention the horrible teasing that went along with it) from peeing my pants in class due to not being excused to use the restroom. Not all bladders are the same, even when they're healthy.
I agree. I think it is cruel to deny anyone a restroom for any reason at any age. "normal" or not.
ktmelody is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2012, 04:37 PM   #10
mcpforever's Avatar
mcpforever
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Bama
Posts: 11,738
My Mood:
Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeslittlewoman View Post
I dunno. I peed (completely) when prompted and when needed as a child. If I had a normal sized drink with a meal, I would go at least once during meal time, then get a very strong need to pee again within 5-10min, then again 5-10min later. I remember how stressful it was to have to wait because adults couldn't understand I really NEEDED to go. Maybe I had/have a small bladder, but I've always been normal, healthy, and "prepared". Road trips were torture, but I very rarely had a teacher who wasn't understanding, thankfully.

I am still that way. As an adult it is a bit easier to plan and a bit easier to wait, but also I don't have to worry about getting in trouble for having to pee. I have a small coffee on the way to church, pee when I get there, again as service starts, then a lot of times I have to pee before service is over or as it is ending. Glad it is not a huge deal now, lol. If I have a full glass of water, or more, it is much worse.
In all honesty, I wouldn't consider that completely normal. My SIL has "the world's smallest bladder" (her words) and has to go a lot more frequently than your average person. Her mother wrote her teachers a note every year and explained it. Thankfully, her teachers took her mother seriously and made exceptions for her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaleidoscopeEyes View Post
plus lets not forget that sometimes people get diarrhea or girls need to change their tampon/pad
Diarrhea doesn't fall under healthy and normal.

It seems to me that dealing with menstrual products falls into the same category of learning to plan for toileting. Most girls start out pretty light for their first few cycles and have plenty of time to learn when to change their products.
__________________
Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 DD 7/13
ISO: my lost shaker of salt
mcpforever is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.