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Old 09-01-2012, 05:06 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by Rockinmama24

Lol, I know! My dd has selective mutism & pdd nos, & anxiety. There is no way in hell she is giving that info to a teacher, let alone a male teacher. It takes all she has just to ask to use the facilities in general.

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My Dd has SM as well along with HfA. But they of course wouldnt fall under "normal, healthy children" :rollseyes:

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Old 09-01-2012, 05:08 PM   #22
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In all honesty, I wouldn't consider that completely normal. My SIL has "the world's smallest bladder" (her words) and has to go a lot more frequently than your average person. Her mother wrote her teachers a note every year and explained it. Thankfully, her teachers took her mother seriously and made exceptions for her.

Diarrhea doesn't fall under healthy and normal.

It seems to me that dealing with menstrual products falls into the same category of learning to plan for toileting. Most girls start out pretty light for their first few cycles and have plenty of time to learn when to change their products.
Ime, and that of any other female I've discussed it with (family and all my friends from middle and high school at the least) had heavy periods from the beginning. If anything, I'd bet mine were worse the first year than the second year. Add to that, I was twelve and terrified of tampons, those thin super absorbent pads weren't invented yet, and my mom bought pads that were too short and didn't have wings. I don't know how many times I bled over, embarrassed myself, ruined a pair of jeans. Awful.
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Old 09-01-2012, 05:08 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by ktmelody

My Dd has SM as well along with HfA. But they of course wouldnt fall under "normal, healthy children" :rollseyes:
Tell that to some teachers! Even with an IEP they don't listen.

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Old 09-01-2012, 05:09 PM   #24
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I would request that my students not take bathroom during my class. But it was a request and I always had a pass available for a dire need. I think limits are fine but bodily functions can surprise anyone. I just made sure they understood that I wouldn't tolerate any roamers. My request was also based on safety because it was not unheard of to be jumped while in the hallway.

In h.s. I had an extremely heavy flow. I would try and work around my class schedule but at times I would need to excuse myself.
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Old 09-01-2012, 05:24 PM   #25
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Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

I want to see both sides but I have to say, even as a teacher who had kids go just to "play", you cant limit or restrict or try to regulate bathroom breaks. From the educator standpoint, its annoying bc kids miss things, it can be super disruptive, and very inconvenient. Ex's: you have one kid who asks and all of a sudden 8 other kids NEED to go rightthissecond., or you are standing in line with all your kids on a fieldtrip and in the middle of someones speech a child shouts out I HAVE TO GO RIGHT NOW, kids needing to go in the middle of picture day, assemblies, in a dark room at a play (true story) with long rows of seated children, after getting on halloween costumes..lol. Its endless.

But. I think of it from a mommy perspective....and I would be livid(!!!!) if a teacher told my son to wait or hold it, etc and he had an accident bc he really needed to go.
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Old 09-01-2012, 05:27 PM   #26
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I can't imagine restricting anybody's toilet needs, even "normal, healthy" kids. A kid won't always say "hey, I have diarrhea so I need extra toilet time today" or "I'm paranoid that I will bleed through my pad and humiliate myself, so can I go check?" And really, nobody should have to justify their need to visit the restroom, anyways.
I agree. We always had staff that would catch any suspected roamers. I trust people to know when they need to relieve themselves. Unless someone has proven themselves to be untrustworthy, I take their word that they need to pee, poop, or change a pad (hopefully stated "visit the restroom" lol).

Even if I pee more often than most, I was in the same classes, with the same teachers as larger bladder kids, lol. I once took a detention for leaving my book in my locker (unprepared--my fault, my choice), but thankfully not for needing to pee or fear my pad wiggled out of place. I would hate to be restricted because some other kid *might* be trying to roam the halls.
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Old 09-01-2012, 05:37 PM   #27
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Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

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Originally Posted by Rockinmama24 View Post
They've both been checked & it's normal. I had the same issue for years. Just standing up could soak an overnight pad.

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I am so glad they are ok!

Something happened to me after my second child and this happens to me-except it does it on the toilet. So.weird.

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Originally Posted by Rockinmama24 View Post
Lol, I know! My dd has selective mutism & pdd nos, & anxiety. There is no way in hell she is giving that info to a teacher, let alone a male teacher. It takes all she has just to ask to use the facilities in general.

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Well, I did say healthy and normal. There are always exceptions.

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My Dd has SM as well along with HfA. But they of course wouldnt fall under "normal, healthy children" :rollseyes:
I have a child with ADHD and sometimes he goes into a bathroom and forgets to even go. I don't consider him normal either.

I don't understand the eye rolling. I don't see where I've been rude about anything. Consistent in pointing out what I perceive as an important distinction, yes. Rude, no. I don't understand it. Perhaps it just wasn't aimed at me?

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Originally Posted by Agla View Post
I would request that my students not take bathroom during my class. But it was a request and I always had a pass available for a dire need. I think limits are fine but bodily functions can surprise anyone. I just made sure they understood that I wouldn't tolerate any roamers. My request was also based on safety because it was not unheard of to be jumped while in the hallway.

In h.s. I had an extremely heavy flow. I would try and work around my class schedule but at times I would need to excuse myself.
This is how I pretty much handled it when I was a teacher. But I was the fun/happy/smiley music teacher and most kids preferred to not miss the fun music stuff. I'm sure if I was a math teacher it would have been different.

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Here's the thing though; you can't tell who has a normal or healthy bladder. Some students may not know if their bathrooms needs are "normal". It took my brother almost 30 years to find out he had ulcerative colitus. I certainly wouldn't want my parent to send a letter to my teacher (s) explaining my bladder habits or otherwise. That is brutal!
SIL says it was no big deal and it was important to communicate it to her teachers. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.

Re: your brother, I assume that he and your parents were aware that he had to go more often than his peers.
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Old 09-01-2012, 05:53 PM   #28
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I was very clear in my OP. I never mentioned such a thing. Here, I will quote myself:



Thinking on it more though, I absolutely am ok with a teacher telling a student she/he recognizes is abusing the restroom priviledge to knock it off. There were kids I went to school with that did do this. They would take the pass and wander the halls for half of the period. That is not acceptable.
you say you do not support denying access to the bathroom, but you are ok with the teacher telling Johnny he can not go b/c it has only been 30 minutes. That is still denying him access to the bathroom. Kids peeing their pants happens more than you think. Shoot, I am an adult, and I go every chance I get, and it STILL creeps up on me. Just the fact that they are being told that they can not go during class, will make some kids have to go for just that very reason.
My ds would not be deemed as a normal healthy child as he has aspergers and adhd, and one of his teachers will still not let him go during her class. He actually had a spot of pee on his underwear before he could get to the bathroom after class. He was MORTIFIED. I have told him from now on, to ask nicely and if she says no to just get up and go, and I will deal with the after math later.
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Old 09-01-2012, 06:36 PM   #29
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Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

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you say you do not support denying access to the bathroom, but you are ok with the teacher telling Johnny he can not go b/c it has only been 30 minutes. That is still denying him access to the bathroom. Kids peeing their pants happens more than you think. Shoot, I am an adult, and I go every chance I get, and it STILL creeps up on me. Just the fact that they are being told that they can not go during class, will make some kids have to go for just that very reason.
My ds would not be deemed as a normal healthy child as he has aspergers and adhd, and one of his teachers will still not let him go during her class. He actually had a spot of pee on his underwear before he could get to the bathroom after class. He was MORTIFIED. I have told him from now on, to ask nicely and if she says no to just get up and go, and I will deal with the after math later.
Ok. I see where you are seeing the discrepancy. Thank you for explaining it as I wasn't seeing it that way.

I taught music at a K-5 elementary school for 6 years. I saw every kid in the school. I had very few kids have accidents in my class and they always happened before the kid made a peep! I was more likely to have someone get sick than have an accident. And I was very sympathetic of kids who got sick or had an accident. Any snickering, was met with a stern, "It could have happened to you."

I tended to be more lenient at the beginning of the school year as I got to know the kids (though I usually already knew 80% from the previous year) and they got into their routine. Since I knew the kids, and had access to their IEPs, I also knew who really needed to go and who was putting on a show for me. I knew who needed to go alone and who needed a friend to go with them. And I knew who I needed to prompt to go, too!

It sounds like you handled it well with your son! Sometimes the key is to teach them how to express themselves urgently AND appropriately! Or, as happened to me once, at all! But that was a child who literally did not speak to anyone without her mother holding her hand. We did come up with a hand signal, but she never used it with me.
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Old 09-01-2012, 07:12 PM   #30
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Re: Am I mean, cruel, and heartless?

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In all honesty, I wouldn't consider that completely normal. My SIL has "the world's smallest bladder" (her words) and has to go a lot more frequently than your average person. Her mother wrote her teachers a note every year and explained it. Thankfully, her teachers took her mother seriously and made exceptions for her.



Diarrhea doesn't fall under healthy and normal.

It seems to me that dealing with menstrual products falls into the same category of learning to plan for toileting. Most girls start out pretty light for their first few cycles and have plenty of time to learn when to change their products.
. No way! I have a very heavy cycle and can leak out of a heavy pad in an hour. I have always struggled with endo and I sometimes could not make it an entire hour.
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