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Old 09-04-2012, 07:46 AM   #21
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Re: am i a bad parent for letting lo cry when i know hes tired?

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Originally Posted by SaraElise View Post
I agree he seems over tired and would try and them and put him to sleep before he gets to the crying point.

That being said, once he is overtired, whatever you can do to get him to sleep is good. So if the choices are letting him cry for 10 minutes, but then he actually sleeps versus trying for 30-40 minutes to get him down for a nap without crying, I wouldn't feel awful about resorting to the crying for 10 minutes or less every so often when you've missed the window.

I wouldn't make a habit of letting him cry himself to sleep at this age though. But some babies just need to decompress a little when they do get to that over stimulated stage.
i never let him go more then ten minutes and usually it just speeds the process along. i never leave his side and after about that time ill pick him up and nurse him or cuddle him. he is so attentive that walking around and such is just fun to him. iv tried to do the important stuff like diaper changes and bath time after he first wakes up then after about 2 hours of awake time i do quite time with nursing walking and swing time with music. im a ftm and he is a first time baby so its alot of dancing that needs to happen.

thanks for all the advice the second his eye was rubbed i set him down and within 30 minutes he was sleeping after some fussing and nursing of course

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Old 09-04-2012, 08:04 AM   #22
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Re: am i a bad parent for letting lo cry when i know hes tired?

It's so hard with your first, but go with your gut. If 10 minutes of crying gets him better sleep than anything else you can do, it might be your best option. I think 5-10 minutes would be the max at this age though, actually that is my max in general (unless we're talking about an old kid throwing a fit). Plus you say you stay with him, it's not like you are walking out of the room and leaving him alone. If they just need to unwind a little you can tell, vs. being hungy/upset/etc.

FTR, my first 2 were really rough sleepers. I never ever let them cry. In hindsight, 5-10 minutes of crying might have been what they needed. My mom always tried to convince me that 5 minutes wasn't going to kill them but I didn't want to do it. She said it was for them to unwind.
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:18 PM   #23
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Re: am i a bad parent for letting lo cry when i know hes tired?

This is why we swaddled until 9 months. Overtired baby always succumbed to the swaddle. That didn't mean she didn't fight and try to get her hands free when she was overtired, it just meant that momma won and she would have swaddled momma cuddles until she gave up.

I don't particularly recommend that you go back to the swaddle at 3months because sleep cycles are about to change a lot. On the other hand, the swaddle was my saving grace. We thought she hated it. We watched 'Happiest Baby on the Block' and we learned that she did indeed need it and it made a huge difference when we swaddled with confidence in what we were doing.

I definitely think 3months is too young to CIO. 10 minutes isn't that long for a 1 yr old, but a 3month old is still in what I refer to as the '4th trimester' which means that they really need you to recreate the atmosphere they experienced in the womb - cuddles, access to food when desired, a white noise machine/heartbeat machine and shussshing in their ears. Bouncing like they were bounced when momma walked when they were in the womb, etc.
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:34 PM   #24
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Re: am i a bad parent for letting lo cry when i know hes tired?

yup, I agree with PP's - baby is overtired.

First yawn, rubbing eyes, staring off into space for a long time, sucking, etc are all signs of a sleepy baby.

Usually if you wait until they are fussy, you missed the boat and waited too long.

If you catch that first queue, life *usually* gets much easier. Problem is, not all babies have the same queues and not all babies do their queues to the same extent, so it can mean a lot of watching for mama. But once you get it, you'll get it and it will be much easier.

Also, I noticed you said something about "after two hours..." Two hours can be a LONG time for a 3 mo old to be awake. If I am remembering correctly, my babies were usually sleepy and ready for nap at that age by 45 mins of awake time, 90 mins MAX. maybe he is just awake way too long?
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:37 PM   #25
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Re: am i a bad parent for letting lo cry when i know hes tired?

I don't believe in CIO and would only let a baby cry if I needed a "time out" myself. :/

Try bouncing on an exercise ball with him swaddled in your arms. For about 6 months that was the only way to get my youngest to sleep.
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:40 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeachinAuntie
I don't believe in CIO and would only let a baby cry if I needed a "time out" myself. :/

Try bouncing on an exercise ball with him swaddled in your arms. For about 6 months that was the only way to get my youngest to sleep.
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Old 09-04-2012, 03:40 PM   #27
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Like most of the other mama's said it sounds like he's over tired or over stimulated. My kids were impossible to get to sleep when that happened. I just learned to watch for cues as well.
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Old 09-04-2012, 04:02 PM   #28
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Re: am i a bad parent for letting lo cry when i know hes tired?

Bouncing on a yoga ball, being wrapped and walking (wrapping is very comforting for young babies), nursing to sleep while rocking, massage.
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Old 09-04-2012, 05:15 PM   #29
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Re: am i a bad parent for letting lo cry when i know hes tired?

Sounds like over stimulated to me too. When swaddling didn't help for my babies I would put them in a carrier and walk/sway around the room and hum until they fell asleep. Since they can't move too much in a carrier they would usually just give in to sleep.
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Old 09-04-2012, 07:38 PM   #30
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A baby that young on average will be up 1-1.5 hours... Sometimes +/- another 15minutes, but 2 hours is not the norm. Start nap time at 1hr 15 minutes and you'll see a big difference.

Also start paying attention to her body language and cues between the 45 minute and one hour 15 minute mark... You will likely see patterns and cues you likely didn't recognize earlier. Good luck!
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