Diaper Swappers

Love4leon · 09-03-2012, 09:59 PM

This month we can FINALLY do our FET. We have 8 little ones waiting- all are at least 5 day embryos. My husband and I are terrified to take this next step. Suddenly we are thinking- What were we thinking!?!? Our fears are mainly about our 5 year old daughter and how this will impact her. We are such a happy family and we are really doing great the three of us.

We have had 3 years of thinking and wishing for another, and now suddenly the time has come where we can really increase our odds and we both are afraid to move forward. Do you think this is normal? I am thinking that most people don't give it the amount of thought and time we have had to think about having more children- we obsess over every last part of it- how it will change our family.

I guess we are suddenly unable to really imagine adding to our family- so we can't really see it. I told my husband that we'd never regret having a baby, but we would likely regret not going ahead with this next step. Right?

Or should I be concerned that we have 2nd thoughts? I also am fully aware that I have an obligation now to the embryos we created. I just don't know why we are both feeling this way right now.

I'm just hoping someone out there has been through this and has felt something similar. I'd love to hear your story. How does it feel having more than one child? I truly can not imagine it.

3 ladybugs · 09-04-2012, 09:47 AM

I was terrified before my last transfer because I felt like if it didn't work then I would loose something I put so much hope into. I wasn't so worried about DS but I think that is because I know that he is going to adapt to whatever happens. Right before my last transfer he was looking at babies and said he wanted to be a big brother. So I took that as a sign. He hasn't been doing that as much, but he also hasn't been around that many babies lately.

I do think that you would regret going to the next step if you don't do this. I think what your feeling is normal and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I think that just means that your ready for this. Sort of like marriage cold feet. We all go through it, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't get married.

Don't worry, we will all be here for you!

HeatherlovesCDs · 09-04-2012, 03:20 PM

I think it's completely normal.

Even women who get pregnant without help suddenly find themselves thinking "what did we do?" Many women who struggle with IF go through the same emotions but then have to add guilt on top of it because "it's what they wanted for so long." Of course, there is nothing to feel guilty about. A baby is a huge life changing thing. It's a very normal emotion, IMO.

With every FET we did, especially the last 2, I was really scared to do it. I was scared of being devastated and also scared of success. The unknown is very scary.

I absolutely think you would regret not moving forward. Face your fears and go for it. I can't wait to hear the great news!!

Love4leon · 09-04-2012, 04:31 PM

Thanks Jennifer and Heather!

Turns out we can't do my transfer this month anyways... I have a cyst!!!!

I'm having terrible luck just getting to the transfer part.

HeatherlovesCDs · 09-05-2012, 12:24 PM

How frustrating!!!

slimy72 · 09-05-2012, 01:59 PM

I have panicky moments before every new step in the process. I often have the same doubts about adding another child especially when it takes so much time and resources to have try. But in the end I always come back to wanting just at least one more so we move on. I'm having the same thoughts and feelings this week and it's nice toknow I'm not alone.

Hope4More · 09-08-2012, 08:02 PM

I'm there right now! I know ovulation is in a few days, we are finally regulated with the docs help and got the go ahead to try for 4 months before we start meds. Now I'm wondering about messing up our happy family. Do I really want to wake up for two years again? Crying in the evenings? C-section healing? Washing bottles? ugh. But I know we want a second eventually, I'm 32, and J is gonna be 2. It's time, and we're excited, just terrified. I think it's normal...

doulamomma · 09-08-2012, 09:17 PM

I think every mom, regardless of how they get pg, haas moments of panic thinking about how adding to the family will affect everyone. I know I did. ((hugs))

Sent from my SCH-I800 using DS Forum

09-03-2012, 09:59 PM	#1
Love4leon Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,349 Ratings: 444 Feedback: 100%	8 Frozen Embryos and we are scared to take the next step This month we can FINALLY do our FET. We have 8 little ones waiting- all are at least 5 day embryos. My husband and I are terrified to take this next step. Suddenly we are thinking- What were we thinking!?!? Our fears are mainly about our 5 year old daughter and how this will impact her. We are such a happy family and we are really doing great the three of us. We have had 3 years of thinking and wishing for another, and now suddenly the time has come where we can really increase our odds and we both are afraid to move forward. Do you think this is normal? I am thinking that most people don't give it the amount of thought and time we have had to think about having more children- we obsess over every last part of it- how it will change our family. I guess we are suddenly unable to really imagine adding to our family- so we can't really see it. I told my husband that we'd never regret having a baby, but we would likely regret not going ahead with this next step. Right? Or should I be concerned that we have 2nd thoughts? I also am fully aware that I have an obligation now to the embryos we created. I just don't know why we are both feeling this way right now. I'm just hoping someone out there has been through this and has felt something similar. I'd love to hear your story. How does it feel having more than one child? I truly can not imagine it.

09-04-2012, 09:47 AM	#2
3 ladybugs Registered Users Join Date: May 2008 Location: New Jersey Posts: 10,753 Ratings: 6 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: 8 Frozen Embryos and we are scared to take the next step I was terrified before my last transfer because I felt like if it didn't work then I would loose something I put so much hope into. I wasn't so worried about DS but I think that is because I know that he is going to adapt to whatever happens. Right before my last transfer he was looking at babies and said he wanted to be a big brother. So I took that as a sign. He hasn't been doing that as much, but he also hasn't been around that many babies lately. I do think that you would regret going to the next step if you don't do this. I think what your feeling is normal and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I think that just means that your ready for this. Sort of like marriage cold feet. We all go through it, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't get married. Don't worry, we will all be here for you! __________________ Jennifer (36) - When DH and I got married in Dec. of 2003, he said "in sickness, health, to death". What he didn't know was we would loose 3 children, have a miscarriage, have a living son and have me battle cancer all before our 7th anniversary! Cancer free 24...28..32...36..Nathaniel Harlow Read story here or here.

09-04-2012, 03:20 PM	#3
HeatherlovesCDs Registered Users Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 8,818 Ratings: 98 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: 8 Frozen Embryos and we are scared to take the next step I think it's completely normal. Even women who get pregnant without help suddenly find themselves thinking "what did we do?" Many women who struggle with IF go through the same emotions but then have to add guilt on top of it because "it's what they wanted for so long." Of course, there is nothing to feel guilty about. A baby is a huge life changing thing. It's a very normal emotion, IMO. With every FET we did, especially the last 2, I was really scared to do it. I was scared of being devastated and also scared of success. The unknown is very scary. I absolutely think you would regret not moving forward. Face your fears and go for it. I can't wait to hear the great news!! Last edited by HeatherlovesCDs; 09-05-2012 at 09:25 PM.

09-04-2012, 04:31 PM	#4
Love4leon Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 8,349 Ratings: 444 Feedback: 100%	Re: 8 Frozen Embryos and we are scared to take the next step Thanks Jennifer and Heather! Turns out we can't do my transfer this month anyways... I have a cyst!!!! I'm having terrible luck just getting to the transfer part.

09-05-2012, 12:24 PM	#5
HeatherlovesCDs Registered Users Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 8,818 Ratings: 98 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: 8 Frozen Embryos and we are scared to take the next step How frustrating!!! Last edited by HeatherlovesCDs; 09-05-2012 at 09:24 PM.