If you leave childbearing up to God and don't have any or many...

[kannondicarpo]

So far I fall under your first scenario but in the case that there was a large gap we would not seek any treatment.

However, one my dearest friends and her husband have left it up to God and 5 years later (with no doctors or treatments) still don't have any. They are now fostering children and hoping to adopt. They have prayerfully chosen not to seek medical treatment for their infertility.

[Puppydog]

I'm very glad that my parents didn't leave it up to "god". If they did, I wouldn't be here.

Honest question. Why leave it up to "god". If medical help is available, why not use it?

[nrsenadenos]

I guess we fall in the big family scenario now, LOL. Though it took nearly a year to conceive our first. We made the agreement when we got married that we would not use medical assistance of any kind to conceive - had we not within a couple of years our plan was to adopt. We would still like to consider adoption at some point, though at this moment we are at odds on it (DH only wants to adopt an infant, I would rather adopt an older child).

Originally Posted by Puppydog I'm very glad that my parents didn't leave it up to "god". If they did, I wouldn't be here. Honest question. Why leave it up to "god". If medical help is available, why not use it?

This is a hugely personal question and could be quite flammable...but for us, we would have taken the inability to conceive as a sign that our family was meant to be grown by other means (like adoption). We both want/wanted a large family, so it was more an issue of what way we got there.

Also, our feelings were this - we have none several people who didn't want kids yet ended up pregnant, and we have also known several people who wanted kids yet had major difficulties conceiving. So it seemed out of our hands either way, so instead of stressing about it we decided to "just go with the flow" so to speak and take what we were given.


OP - I also think you are discounting some of the difficulties in a raising a larger family that do require (if you are so inclined to believe that way) help from and/or trust in God. As the saying goes "God never gives you more than you can handle, but sometimes I wish he didn't trust me so much". I obviously can't speak for anyone else on here, but there have definitely been some "OMG, what were we thinking? What kind of mess have we gotten ourselves into?" sorts of moments. Wanting a large family and actually having one can be two different things...

[Puppydog]

Makes sense. I guess the better way to ask would be "would you (general you) feel those that sought medical intervention were wrong.

I'm not wanting to be inflammatory at all. I genuinely enjoy hearing the view point of others as I have learned so much by listening to those ideas and thoughts.

[ktmelody]

Originally Posted by Puppydog I'm very glad that my parents didn't leave it up to "god". If they did, I wouldn't be here. Honest question. Why leave it up to "god". If medical help is available, why not use it?

Because that is someones own conviction. Most people who leave their child spacing and family size to god, feel that god is telling them that no more children will happen at that time. Most people who leave it up to god don't try to conceive, that defeats the purpose, as it is gods choice not theirs. In our case we dont leave it up to god, but use the same principle and leave it to nature/reincarnation.

Originally Posted by Puppydog Makes sense. I guess the better way to ask would be "would you (general you) feel those that sought medical intervention were wrong. I'm not wanting to be inflammatory at all. I genuinely enjoy hearing the view point of others as I have learned so much by listening to those ideas and thoughts.

Kind of a loaded question. I think some people who follow godly timing would feel medical intervention is wrong for them personally, and maybe perhaps for others that are following gods lead as well, but likely not for the general population.

For me personally using medical intervention at this point would be wrong if I wanted to follow my conviction, and I do feel if someone is choosing to follow god on family size and spacing is not following god if they choose medical intervention to get pregnant. That is my personal opinion, but in the end I don't care if someone chooses that route (ivf, clomid etc) I just don't think they should say they are leaving it up to god in that instance. I am not against ivf or any fertility treatments for anyone, but I do think it is not leaving it up to god if they choose that route.

[Puppydog]

Originally Posted by ktmelody Because that is someones own conviction. Most people who leave their child spacing and family size to god, feel that god is telling them that no more children will happen at that time. Most people who leave it up to god don't try to conceive, that defeats the purpose, as it is gods choice not theirs. In our case we dont leave it up to god, but use the same principle and leave it to nature/reincarnation. Kind of a loaded question. I think some people who follow godly timing would feel medical intervention is wrong for them personally, and maybe perhaps for others that are following gods lead as well, but likely not for the general population. For me personally using medical intervention at this point would be wrong if I wanted to follow my conviction, and I do feel if someone is choosing to follow god on family size and spacing is not following god if they choose medical intervention to get pregnant. That is my personal opinion, but in the end I don't care if someone chooses that route (ivf, clomid etc) I just don't think they should say they are leaving it up to god in that instance. I am not against ivf or any fertility treatments for anyone, but I do think it is not leaving it up to god if they choose that route.

Some very good points. Some I hadn't thought of before. Thanks for taking the time to explain your view.

[twinpossible]

We left it up to God. We were married young at 21 and 22 years old. 6 years went by with NO children or pregnancies. We decided to have basic tests run (checking for PCOS and a sperm count) before we became foster parents. The tests found I have PCOS but that's it, no reason for infertility was found. We went through the process of becoming foster parents.
Then out of the blue we got our twin girls. They are now 17 months old. I became pregnant when they were 9 months old with our baby, River, who died in the 2nd trimester. After one cycle of rest I was pregnant again and I have now passed the point where River died. The only thing I did differently was taking a homeopathic tonic called Welcome Womb, since taking that every night I have been able to get pregnant.

[Holly dolly]

I'm chiming in here...when we first married we weren't ready for kids so I was on bc pills. I got off them after about 6 mos because I didn't like the side effects. We decided then to let it happen when it happened. This was in early 2002...my ds was born March 2007. During that time I did go to the dr to get the basic tests done which showed that I had the hormone levels of a woman with PCOS but didn't have the cysts and I have long anovulatory cycles.

Right after Isaac was born my dh was scared that I would get pg right away so I went on BCP again for another 6 mos...less side effects...but I was scared that it would take us another 4 years to get pg again. This time it took a little over 18 mos. I went against my first thoughts and tried clomid...which "didn't work" according to the doctors. I ovulated around CD30 (too late for the meds to have any effect) and got pg with our second ds.

At this point I have been off any form of birth control for almost a year...nothing yet.

[HeatherlovesCDs]

OP - I'm going to PM you. You know my basic story. I have 5 going on 6 children all through IVF. We are conservative evangelical Christians. Doing IVF required a lot of prayer for us. And, I absolutely believe we leave our family size up to God. Personally I believe, no matter what you do, God creates life and is always in control. We can't take that from Him even with science. So, I feel I have a unique perspective on this. However, I truly am not interested in debating it with anyone and won't. Hence, the PM.

(If you don't get a PM from me by tomorrow AM, PM me. With 5 kids 6 and under, I get distracted. )

[jacquelinemarie82]

Thanks for sharing everyone.

I am curious how people arrive at this conclusion of family size and whether to control it or not.....and where is the line drawn for what is an acceptable amount of control/intervention.

I do know part of it is a personal conviction and in many gray areas, it would be impossible to say what is right. I'm just a curious person is all.