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Old 09-11-2012, 03:03 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by z2akids

It's a gift; not an obligation. Like I said, what you do with it afterwards is your choice. But, you don't get to choose your own gifts unless someone gives you a gift card or asks you for suggestions.
For us/our family ever since I was a kid we were always told to make lists of what we wanted/needed so it's just the normal for us. I understand it may not come off that way for many or be seen in such a way though.


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Old 09-11-2012, 03:27 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by z2akids
Blog post with wish list = Tacky.

If someone asks for suggestions, great, give them a list. Otherwise, it is tacky to tell people what to buy.
Yes. What you are proposing is just a veiled presumption of gifts, like it or not, and that is a no-no. To operate within the bounds of etiquette, you must wait until someone requests a list - which you can have ready at a moments notice!
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Old 09-11-2012, 07:42 PM   #23
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Re: Xmas/Bday wish list - Tacky or a good idea?

Thanks for the replies. It was nice to hear a variety of opinions for different people & how they/their family operates.

I think I'm going to post "something" related to it on the blog (it's a family only blog, so only the few family/close as family friends can see it. The kids were very excited to make lists & I may just post the lists, for "cute" factor to share with everyone and if anyone happens to take notice of what the boys are into/wrote, then cool. If not, cool too. I really do not mind NOT getting any gifts for myself or the children. It's just difficult when you can't let them enjoy what they usually get due to allergies or other issues (for ex, we got a package last week from a family member & there was not one single thing the kids could have besides the letter that was written in it - nothing to do with toys, but it was a care package filled with snacks/junk food that they cannot have due to their allergies). As for toys & clothes, they get some great gifts from different people & then there are others that aren't so much buying the gift b/c of the thought, but b/c they just buy a bunch of stuff so there are more presents to open - unsure if that makes sense or others deal with that.

I was thinking of including their sizing info somehow too - not like "Here are their sizes so you can buy them stuff" but sharing how they've grown, etc. I thought that maybe that would give the right info about sizing JIC someone wants to know & for others, it may just be fun to know how big the kids are getting - I know my family asks all the time so that they can compare their sizes with other kids they see in public (don't live close to family).

Thanks again! I really appreciate the replies!
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Old 09-11-2012, 08:04 PM   #24
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Re: Xmas/Bday wish list - Tacky or a good idea?

We always write up and list to have ideas on hand for anyone who asks.
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Old 09-12-2012, 01:56 PM   #25
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Re: Xmas/Bday wish list - Tacky or a good idea?

I agree with some of the other posters that giving an unsolicited list is very tacky. However I think it would be a brilliant idea to have one ready to go (or the amazon list with links to other sites) so that when anyone asks what the kids are interested in, you can send them the list and say "these ideas have come up a lot lately and I think the kids would really enjoy this kind of thing."

As far as food, I think because it is allergies (and not just "I don't want my kids to have it cause I don't think it's healthy" - that's a parent's prerogative, but rather rude to say) that it would be totally fine to send an e-mail out that said something along the lines of "we love hearing from everyone during the holidays, but since treats are so abundant during this time, I just wanted to remind everyone that X, Y, and Z are off limits at our house due to allergies. Having them could really make the kids sick."
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Old 09-12-2012, 02:02 PM   #26
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My inlaw's are totally the "buy a bunch of stuff so there are more things to open" kinds of people. Makes me sad b/c with the amount of money they spend DD could have had a really nice gift instead of 10 cheap, crappily made things.

We do give lists if asked, the IL's just choose not to follow them.

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Old 09-12-2012, 02:24 PM   #27
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Re: Xmas/Bday wish list - Tacky or a good idea?

My family and DH's family requests gift lists from the kids. My parents are divorced and DH was raised by his grandparents (but his mother is very involved in his life) so I make 4 different lists with 2 or 3 items the kids have requested and give them out. If people ask for additional items I give general ideas (clothes with sizes, jewelry, play doh, consumable art supplies).

For example my daughter's birthday is at the end of October...her list is:

Grandma A (my mom): Jewelry + hair bows + Angry Birds PJs

Papa S (my father): Clothes and the mini van that goes to her doll house

Grandma S (my MIL): Disney Princess baby doll, Mulan or Sleeping Beauty (we have to be specific because she has the tohers)

Grandma V (my GMIL): Tinkerbell DVD

LOL...everyone else (aunts, uncles, cousins) get a generalized list (barbies, legos, art supplies, etc) but the grandparents just LOVE buying that 'special' wished for gift and being the hero. More power to 'em
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Old 09-12-2012, 02:48 PM   #28
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Re: Xmas/Bday wish list - Tacky or a good idea?

I hate junk gifts. I can't stand when you can tell someone stopped by a dollar store or cvs and threw a bunch of junk in a bag signed a card and threw it in there too. I'd rather not get anything. Id rather just enjoy the time with that person and not have the stress of a gift. I know its suppose to be the thought that counts but really where is the thought on that one. For Christmas our families talk about what to get etc. We exchange emails websites etc. For Birthdays the kids get a card with money a giftcard and something nice to unwrap. I can understand the food issue. DD has allergies. I don't mind if someone brings a beverage that can be shared with everyone but wrapped food is tough.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:35 PM   #29
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Re: Xmas/Bday wish list - Tacky or a good idea?

If my kids want specific gifts, we buy it for them. We don't rely on others for this. Any gift that is given is appreciated. If we won't use it, it's regifted or donated. If people ask, then we can tell them the kids interests at the moment but to supply a list without anyone asking is really tacky in my opinion.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:49 PM   #30
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Re: Xmas/Bday wish list - Tacky or a good idea?

see.. I agree... unsolicited is tacky. Of course, I also think invitations with registry information in them is tacky. I'm very old fashioned that way.

but if you're asked.. it's nice to be prepared.

for us, I guess it's not that bad. I've been trying to decide what - if anything - to do for DD's 2nd birthday (in 2 weeks) because I feel like if I throw a party, I'll spend a lot of money and probably get gifts that we don't really like. She's 2 - she won't care about a party at all. And it's more trouble than it's worth. I can save my money and buy whatever I want. So, that eliminates most of the need to give anyone lists or suggestions.

Of course, grandparents will buy her stuff regardless of parties.. cause they live 1000 miles away and they're the grandparents. Last birthday, she turned 1 and was wearing 2T clothes, so MIL bought her 4T clothes.. that she still doesn't fit in. Most everyone else bought her books (big plus - she loves books and everyone knows it). A few toys - both that I can think of were educational stacking, building type things.

Christmas was similar - DD got a ton of books and a few fun toys that I thought were too plastic, but ended up being a huge hit with her and I'm really glad that she got them. Turns out I don't know everything.

so, I guess I just don't worry about it. Gifts are not obligatory. My sister has 4 kids and she knows what kids like. So, it's sorta nice to see what I would have never thought of that ends up being a huge hit.

but sure, make a list. and have it available. but don't hand it out without being asked.
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