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Old 09-15-2012, 08:46 AM   #1
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4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

A little boy lifted up her dress and tried to pull her underwear down and said he wanted to see her bottom

It is a small school and I know all the kids, and spend some time there. I am sure that it is nothing more than innocent curiosity, kids can just be silly sometimes. We talked about how you don't show people your bottom and if somebody asks then you must tell mom or dad. Anyhow, I'm really not worried about it going further and she is a smart kid who I know can hold her own against this boy, but just wondering if I should say something to the mom? I know her and I don't want to upset anybody, I am sure it was nothing more than silliness, at least from the way my daughter described.

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Old 09-15-2012, 08:47 AM   #2
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

Did you talk to the teacher- that would definitely be something I would have wanted to have on my radar as a teacher.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:51 AM   #3
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

I agree with speaking to the teacher. There needs to be some changes in the level of supervision.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:52 AM   #4
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

Yep I would talk to the teacher first not the parent. That way the teacher can keep an eye out on all the other kiddos to make sure he is not doing it to other girls as well.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:52 AM   #5
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Silliness or not, the teacher, and this boy's mom need to be made aware of what happened so that someone can talk to him. If everyone brushes it off, then he'll think it's okay and he'll do it again.

Your daughter may or may not have been bothered by it, but what if he does it to someone that has previously been abused? How traumatic would that be for the other child? They won't find it as silly, I would imagine.

I would at least mention it so that someone can have a chat with the boy about boundaries.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:56 AM   #6
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

The teacher should absolutely be made aware of the situation.
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Old 09-15-2012, 09:00 AM   #7
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

Ok. I have been mulling over it the last few days, unsure of what to do or how to broach the subject. I really don't want to upset or accuse anybody of anything. The mom is really sweet and I know she will be mortified. :-( I think I will speak to the teacher, she has been teaching 30 years so I'm sure she will have dealt with it before.
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Old 09-15-2012, 11:37 AM   #8
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

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Originally Posted by jeebee View Post
Ok. I have been mulling over it the last few days, unsure of what to do or how to broach the subject. I really don't want to upset or accuse anybody of anything. The mom is really sweet and I know she will be mortified. :-( I think I will speak to the teacher, she has been teaching 30 years so I'm sure she will have dealt with it before.
I would just say something like "Hey, this is what happened the other day, and I already talked to my daughter about it, but I wanted to let you know about it. I'm sure it was just kids being silly, but I thought that someone should have a gentle conversation with (insert little boy's name here) so that he has a better understanding of personal boundaries. We wouldn't want his behavior to get him in trouble in the future"

Or something like that.
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Old 09-15-2012, 04:48 PM   #9
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

I know as a mother I'd be mortified but I'd want to know. Maybe someone is doing something to the boy they shouldn't (and maybe not, but as a mother I'd like to talk to my child and find out). I think it's best to go to the teacher first though. She might need to do a lesson about boundaries as well as keep an eye out. Maybe another child started it first as a game.
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Old 09-15-2012, 05:11 PM   #10
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Re: 4 year old came home from preschool the other day and told me...

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Originally Posted by chandni3 View Post
I know as a mother I'd be mortified but I'd want to know. Maybe someone is doing something to the boy they shouldn't (and maybe not, but as a mother I'd like to talk to my child and find out). I think it's best to go to the teacher first though. She might need to do a lesson about boundaries as well as keep an eye out. Maybe another child started it first as a game.
Yes, this is what I thought too. It could be a warning sign, or it could be nothing more than silliness, but still... It might be embarrassing, but it would definitely be something I would want to know were it my child doing it.
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