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Old 09-15-2012, 07:57 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by z2akids
She's five. Assuming she doesn't have diabetes or another condition that would make it dangerous.to.miss a mean, I would make her stay in her room and clean ecen if it meant missing a meal.
Agreed.

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Old 09-15-2012, 08:05 PM   #12
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Re: Stand my ground or cave?

I would feed her dinner, but dinner isn't a privelege at our house and I'd only do such when the behavior issue is happening during the meal itself.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:08 PM   #13
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Re: Stand my ground or cave?

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Originally Posted by cristy_1996 View Post
I'm mean, she would stay until she cleaned it up and if it wasn't cleaned up in time, she would go to bed without dinner. I think I would do that though because I know that would motivate both of my boys to get it cleaned up ASAP. They do NOT like to miss out on family time.
I think so too...although your dinner is probably already done. If you have her come out for dinner, she may think that she doesn't have to listen or obey you. If you told her she had to clean it up, make her clean it. If she gets hungry she will get it done in a hurry.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:09 PM   #14
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Re: Stand my ground or cave?

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Originally Posted by cristy_1996 View Post
I'm mean, she would stay until she cleaned it up and if it wasn't cleaned up in time, she would go to bed without dinner. I think I would do that though because I know that would motivate both of my boys to get it cleaned up ASAP. They do NOT like to miss out on family time.
hehe.. this is totally what I would do.

she can have dinner when she's done.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:11 PM   #15
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Re: Stand my ground or cave?

I know you've probably already decided but knowing MY kids, I would not let her out. And no dinner till after she's done. If I let mine out they would eat dinner and then go to their room and play or go to sleep. No work would be done.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:12 PM   #16
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Re: Stand my ground or cave?

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Originally Posted by cristy_1996 View Post
I'm mean, she would stay until she cleaned it up and if it wasn't cleaned up in time, she would go to bed without dinner. I think I would do that though because I know that would motivate both of my boys to get it cleaned up ASAP. They do NOT like to miss out on family time.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:15 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cristy_1996
I'm mean, she would stay until she cleaned it up and if it wasn't cleaned up in time, she would go to bed without dinner. I think I would do that though because I know that would motivate both of my boys to get it cleaned up ASAP. They do NOT like to miss out on family time.
This is what I would WANT to do, but I'd let my kid eat, probably on the steps though.

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Old 09-15-2012, 08:52 PM   #18
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I would consider letting her out to eat if it was just a mess that needed cleaning. But you said she did this while she was being disciplined for something else and was giving a lot of backtalk, and that's a whole new ballgame in my book. That behaviour is NOT tolerated. I'd let her come out when she's done cleaning and ready to apologize for the attitude.
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Old 09-15-2012, 08:55 PM   #19
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My son has done this exact thing before but be was a young 4 then (still is) so my answer might be different when he's five.

I told him he could come out when he cleaned it up. He got himself REALLY worked up about it being a bigger mess than he could clean himself (which I'm sure he believed, it was a huge mess). So we had a talk about how sometimes when we're mad we make really big messes. Messes so big we can't clean them ourselves, and we really need help. I want him to know he can always come to me for helo, even if he caused his big messy problem. So I "helped" him by standing in the doorway and asking "do you want to pick up this one first or this one?" for about fifteen minutes.

Now that we KNOW he can do that himself (he knows where things go and only has access to enough clothes for a week at a time), I would fully expect him to clean it up himself. And I would address it calmly and compassionately by saying "I'm really disappointed that you've missed out on so much family time tonight because you chose not to pick up your clothes. We're eating dinner in ten minutes and will have a plate for you if you get your clothes put away. Then it will be bedtime at 7 just like every night. It's up to you! But I really hope you'll choose to clean up so you can join us. :-)"

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Old 09-15-2012, 09:17 PM   #20
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Re: Stand my ground or cave?

meals are not a priveledge to be taken away for bad behavior in our house. i would let her join the family for dinner. she's 5 and they are still figuring out how to control their emotions and impulses. i would however, take away any clothing that remained on the floor and she would lose them for the week. i try to make the punishment fit the "crime", though i'm not always successful about it if it's been one of "those" days.
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