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Old 09-21-2012, 03:33 AM   #1
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Basically it's Friday!



We are a group of parents that chat and support each other.
We have been at this for a while so some of us are out of the diapering stage.
...some were out and are back in again.
Every once in a while we actually get to answer a diaper question or two in here.
If you are looking for a very diverse and open group come on over and chat.

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Old 09-21-2012, 03:37 AM   #2
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

An odd morning today. Derry was in top form....wow that kid knows how to ride my last nerve. I think it's because I had such a long break from it but it's really difficult to get back into this. The kids are difficult in the morning, They always have been but Derry is really killing me.

I have to work out how to do this better....the routine is getting the stuff done but it's not good. I have to work on it some more. Derry needs her meds before I attempt to get her to do anything at all. She's just totally out of it and nasty with it before her meds.
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Old 09-21-2012, 05:52 AM   #3
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

morning jsnine...sorry about the rough morning
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Old 09-21-2012, 06:06 AM   #4
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Sorry for the hard Morning Janine

Morning Kari.

I am up and about to shower. Then just chill for now.
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Old 09-21-2012, 06:57 AM   #5
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

So much for chilling. Damn dog tried to climb through the bedroom window because we were not up. Fed him. showered, interrupted by MH begging to go to school. She is off today, her teachers are at training. Got her on the sofa with PBSKids and some grapes and string cheese.
Cleaned the kitchen, started the laundry, made my coffe, bowl of cereal and now I can sit for a bit.
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Old 09-21-2012, 07:10 AM   #6
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Chores done. Coffee consumed. Now to shower, make muffins, do dishes and take Lydia to her early childhood screening . Bella is having a friend sleepover tonight so there is some cleaning to do too. The girl is Lydia's teacher's daughter so I feel added pressure for cleanliness and to use Caillou's mom voice. My old neighbors baby is in the hospital with an inflamed pancreas. Apparently he is in a ton of painkillers and still screaming in pain. Wish I could help her.
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:29 AM   #7
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

Morning mamacitas. I've already had two cups of coffee and need more.

Sorry about Derry, Janine. I am having my own challenges with my middle child today. More on that later.

I read what you said about the evaluator, Jen. I think you should send a letter/email to the higher-ups that if they can't send people to your school that have experience in elementary, rez, ESL migrant children, that they need to give them training so they understand the specific challenges that apply to your schools' demographics. Not in a threatening, reporting on her kind of way, but in a way that helps them make evaluations that are more constructive and helpful. Cuz heaven knows you are not the only school she (and likely others with similar backgrounds) are going to evaluate, and they need to know what they are dealing with to actually make any impact. You may have already done this in the past, but I thought I'd throw in my 2cents. I am livid for you.

Aw, Jess. That breaks my heart. I hate it when babies are in pain.
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:57 AM   #8
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

So about Ginger....and you knew it would be Ginger having issues at school giggle2:

Yesterday the bus came home late after school. I asked why (and I found out later it was because a bus kid was AWOL because a parent took them home without telling the school first, and they had to verify where he was), and Ginger said it was because the gym teacher got on her bus twice, once to give her a paper and once to take it away. I asked her what the paper was, and she said it was about what happened at gym today (an incident report, I'm sure).

Sigh. So I asked her what happened, and she said they were playing soccer at gym, her team lost, she was mad because she thought the other team cheated. So she was having a tantrum and swinging her jersey around and hit a girl in the face. Whether she did it on purpose, or if it was collateral damage from the fit, it is not clear -- but to me that does not matter, she put someone's safety at risk. So I asked her if that was the appropriate reaction. She says no. I asked her if there is anything to be gained from doing what she did. She says no. I tell her there is no scenario at school where hitting is ok. She tries to argue something about payback for villians/evil, and I realize perhaps we need to take away the Captain Underpants books she's been reading and explain that it is not her place to exact punishments on "bad guys", that is the police's job, and there are no such villains at school. I asked if she apologized, and she thinks and thinks...and says no. She doesn't think so. Which if she was pulled away from the skirmish may be true, or she may not remember.

Later we talked about how it would feel if the rolls were reversed. What other things she could have done instead. How it must feel to be hurt like that and not apologized to, what other people who witnessed it may think of her now as a result of what she's done. We talk about how she should apologize, practice apologizing, and prepare her for the apology not being accepted. We talked about how apologizing isn't always enough, that she needs to be extra nice to the girl, and maybe she could give her a rose from our garden as a peace offering. That she may not accept her apology or the flower, but I'm thinking what girl wouldn't love getting flowers at school so there is a good chance this could put her back in good graces again.

Then I find out when the gym teacher had given her the form on the bus, then came back to get it, she told Ginger she only gets the form when she's done something like this three times. When you say something like this to Ginger, she hears "You can get away with this two more times before you get in trouble." Really? She couldn't have just taken the form away without saying anything?

And no one has spoken/emailed me about the incident. That really concerns me, because if my child is hitting someone (even if accidentally), I want to hear about it from the school. I don't want to hear about it from the other kids, or from the kid's mother.

So I was scheduled to read a story to Ginger's class this morning. I looked in her backpack before I went in, and saw the rose was still in there, and my heart sank because I thought it meant she didn't apologize. I went in, and her teacher was her usual friendly self and didn't say anything about the incident. It may be because she doesn't know, it may be because we did discuss Ginger's issue with not being a good sport in competitive games and how I was addressing it at home during her conference earlier in the week, so maybe she doesn't think she needs to tell me. We agreed that she didn't need to tell me every infraction, just if there was a theme or a particular issue that Ginger was struggling with. So I choose not to discuss it then, I'm there to read the story.

I read the Pout Pout Fish, and it is a huge success. They all ask me to come back again with another funny story. As they are going back to their desks, I grab Ginger and ask if she apologized to the girl. She said she did, but that she didn't want the flower. I didn't get into it and ask for details, or if she accepted the apology at all, because it wasn't a good time. But my heart sank.

I know it could be nothing. I only have the testimony of a 6yo, and maybe it was not a big deal. And maybe the girl really isn't offended, and doesn't like flowers or Ginger offered it in a way that was weird so she didn't understand. But it still kills me that it's MY child that did this, she still struggles with empathy, and that she still doesn't understand how things like this affects her socially.

GAH.
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:57 AM   #9
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

I need to clarify something for you Cheryl just because it will make me feel better that you are directing you anger in the best manner

My training that is this three days I will provide a brutally honest evaluation.

Now starting on Monday is my 3 day audit from that state...totally different from these 3 days of dumb training. And I just found out I am on the list of people that will be interviewed so you can count on my being honest about this system and the students lives.
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:57 AM   #10
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

So about Ginger....and you knew it would be Ginger having issues at school giggle2:

Yesterday the bus came home late after school. I asked why (and I found out later it was because a bus kid was AWOL because a parent took them home without telling the school first, and they had to verify where he was), and Ginger said it was because the gym teacher got on her bus twice, once to give her a paper and once to take it away. I asked her what the paper was, and she said it was about what happened at gym today (an incident report, I'm sure).

Sigh. So I asked her what happened, and she said they were playing soccer at gym, her team lost, she was mad because she thought the other team cheated. So she was having a tantrum and swinging her jersey around and hit a girl in the face. Whether she did it on purpose, or if it was collateral damage from the fit, it is not clear -- but to me that does not matter, she put someone's safety at risk. So I asked her if that was the appropriate reaction. She says no. I asked her if there is anything to be gained from doing what she did. She says no. I tell her there is no scenario at school where hitting is ok. She tries to argue something about payback for villians/evil, and I realize perhaps we need to take away the Captain Underpants books she's been reading and explain that it is not her place to exact punishments on "bad guys", that is the police's job, and there are no such villains at school. I asked if she apologized, and she thinks and thinks...and says no. She doesn't think so. Which if she was pulled away from the skirmish may be true, or she may not remember.

Later we talked about how it would feel if the rolls were reversed. What other things she could have done instead. How it must feel to be hurt like that and not apologized to, what other people who witnessed it may think of her now as a result of what she's done. We talk about how she should apologize, practice apologizing, and prepare her for the apology not being accepted. We talked about how apologizing isn't always enough, that she needs to be extra nice to the girl, and maybe she could give her a rose from our garden as a peace offering. That she may not accept her apology or the flower, but I'm thinking what girl wouldn't love getting flowers at school so there is a good chance this could put her back in good graces again.

Then I find out when the gym teacher had given her the form on the bus, then came back to get it, she told Ginger she only gets the form when she's done something like this three times. When you say something like this to Ginger, she hears "You can get away with this two more times before you get in trouble." Really? She couldn't have just taken the form away without saying anything?

And no one has spoken/emailed me about the incident. That really concerns me, because if my child is hitting someone (even if accidentally), I want to hear about it from the school. I don't want to hear about it from the other kids, or from the kid's mother.

So I was scheduled to read a story to Ginger's class this morning. I looked in her backpack before I went in, and saw the rose was still in there, and my heart sank because I thought it meant she didn't apologize. I went in, and her teacher was her usual friendly self and didn't say anything about the incident. It may be because she doesn't know, it may be because we did discuss Ginger's issue with not being a good sport in competitive games and how I was addressing it at home during her conference earlier in the week, so maybe she doesn't think she needs to tell me. We agreed that she didn't need to tell me every infraction, just if there was a theme or a particular issue that Ginger was struggling with. So I choose not to discuss it then, I'm there to read the story.

I read the Pout Pout Fish, and it is a huge success. They all ask me to come back again with another funny story. As they are going back to their desks, I grab Ginger and ask if she apologized to the girl. She said she did, but that she didn't want the flower. I didn't get into it and ask for details, or if she accepted the apology at all, because it wasn't a good time. But my heart sank.

I know it could be nothing. I only have the testimony of a 6yo, and maybe it was not a big deal. And maybe the girl really isn't offended, and doesn't like flowers or Ginger offered it in a way that was weird so she didn't understand. But it still kills me that it's MY child that did this, she still struggles with empathy, and that she still doesn't understand how things like this affects her socially.

GAH.
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