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Old 09-14-2012, 11:14 PM   #1
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Older children and cosleeping...

My daughter is 4 1/2 yo and in the past few months, she has asked to sleep in our bedroom at nighttime. My husband used to work third shift, so I would let her sleep in our bed because really, it was no big deal to me (and actually, with all the attitude she gives me during the daytime it was really nice to get that sweet little cuddly girl back at night). She tosses and turns a lot but it was just her and I and it didn't bother me. Well, my husband finally was able to switch back to days, and so now he sleeps in our bed at night - which means there really is no room for DD without all of us being uncomfortable. Plus DH is a very VERY light sleeper so her tossing about would keep him up at night. So, I attempted to transition her back into her own bedroom and it's been a little bit of a failure. It takes me >45 minutes some nights to get her to bed (where it only took one story and a kiss goodnight in our bed). She cries desperately to sleep in our bed each night and it rips at my heart....and it didn't help that I just read a blog post that was circulating on Facebook about how you should embrace your children while they are little and still want to cuddle with you. Guilt city. But I don't know if there is a feasible solution here. Our room is not big enough to add more bed space in the form of a sidecar or twin bed or anything.

I actually really miss having her in my bed...but I want her to be comfortable in her own room at the same time and I'm not sure how to get her there. Suggestions? And has anyone else mourned the loss of cosleeping as badly as I have?

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Old 09-15-2012, 12:38 AM   #2
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Sort of a similar situation. My husband works 48 hour shifts. When he's gone my 4 yo daughter can sleep in my bed. When he's home, she can fall asleep in our bed but we move her to her bed when we go to sleep. It's a sort of compromise. We dont do it without her knowing. She knows the deal. Maybe try something like that?
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Old 09-15-2012, 12:57 AM   #3
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Is there room for a twin mattress on the floor (beside the bed or foot of the bed) that can either fit under the bed, stood up, etc during the day when not in use?
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Old 09-15-2012, 01:09 AM   #4
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Re: Older children and cosleeping...

Same type of situation here - she falls asleep in our bed (storytime etc) and we move her when we go to bed.

She comes in if she wakes up in the middle of the night and is scared...no problem.

It works for us, and she is calmer with this situation.
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Old 09-15-2012, 01:15 AM   #5
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We have a deal with my son that he falls asleep in his bed but after a certain time if he wakes up he can join us. It's 6am for us. And 7am is our official "everybody up" time.
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Old 09-15-2012, 04:10 AM   #6
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I would go snuggle with her in her bed. When my 4 year old struggles at night, my husband goes in and falls asleep with her or rubs her back. But it is in her bed.
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Old 09-15-2012, 05:52 AM   #7
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[QUOTE/] I actually really miss having her in my bed...but I want her to be comfortable in her own room at the same time and I'm not sure how to get her there. Suggestions? And has anyone else mourned the loss of cosleeping as badly as I have? [/QUOTE]

Yes. You're not alone! I have a 4.5yo that coslept for 3.5 years. We had enough room that we had a twin in our room for a while. She has been in her bed for about 6 months and honestly seems to prefer it. For a while she'd ask every week or so to come sleep with us and even that stopped. It breaks my heart (and my husband's too, funnily enough). She asked one night and then we forgot about it and then she didn't ask for months and I was so sad that that might have been the last time ever and I missed it. Anyway, she'll crawl in every now and then and I hope she contines to do so for a long time to come.

Could you do a sleeping bag or a little cozy pallet at the end of the bed? That you could move during the day for room. But have there at night for both of your comfort?

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Old 09-15-2012, 06:15 AM   #8
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Re: Older children and cosleeping...

This is why we bought a king sized bed. So the kids can cuddle us whenever they need too. Or whenever I need them.
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Old 09-15-2012, 07:28 AM   #9
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Re: Older children and cosleeping...

My older two were in our bed a lot until around 5. Currently, the 4 yo and the baby sleep with us.
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Old 09-15-2012, 07:29 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babycat42
This is why we bought a king sized bed. So the kids can cuddle us whenever they need too. Or whenever I need them.
Oh yeah, we did that too! :-)
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