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Old 09-19-2012, 02:08 AM   #31
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My approach has been to say firmly, NO THANK YOU and put myself in between the child and mine. Once at a toddler skate there was an older boy who was really bent on picking up every last ball to clean up and tackled my son (3 at the time) to the floor trying to wrestle the ball out of his hands. I did the EXCUSE ME, NO THANK YOU as I walked closer (I was only like ten steps away to begin with) and the kid got off of him but was still wrestling at the ball. I told him firmly (but calmly) "you need to let go and go back to your mom now." he left.

I think kids do stuff like that - pick on other kids - in front of their parents and other adults because they are testing the boundaries. What CAN I get away with? What are you really going to do about it?

If it's a kid who is the same age/size I typically give space and let my son try to work out conflict over toys. If the kid is bigger or obviously aggressive I will step between them and tell the kid to stop and send them to their parent.

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Old 09-19-2012, 01:36 PM   #32
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Re: How would you have reacted?

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Originally Posted by EuphoricDysphoria View Post
Think about it.... Place yourself in the other moms shoes. Imagine your child is pretending to kick another child's face (kicking the air) like the other mama's post said. And for a moment you aren't paying attention for whatever reason, your toddler just fell and scrapped her knee or you were helping a little one go down the slide. For that spilt second you weren't watching a stranger picked up your child and moved them. That wouldn't make you angry? I was literally assaulted as a child when someone picked me up, slipped a finger in and then let me down. A few seconds was all it took in a crowded area. I would FLIP if anyone touched DD.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

but I still don't agree. If your child is physically touching/bullying my child, then I have every right to touch your child.

and for the record, the child was not pretending to kick her face, he just wasn't doing it very hard. And it doesn't matter. If he had simply been standing at the top of the ladder and not letting her finish climbing up, that's still unacceptable. It's dangerous for her to be so high up and not be able to get onto the landing.

No. I have no problem removing a child who is being aggressive towards another child. If I saw an adult abuse another adult, I'd step in there, too. I am not the kind to just 'look the other way' and consider that someone else will step in. And if my child ever became the bully, I would not be the type of mom who irrationally started yelling at another mom for stepping in if I was unable.

I firmly believe it takes a village. Children test their limits everywhere. Mom cannot be everywhere.

It would be one thing if I was talking about backhanding some bully child, but we are talking about simply moving them or grabbing their arm that's raised to hit or push or whatever. We are not talking about leaving marks on children's arms or spanking them when they are not our own. We are talking about bullies who are physically being abusive to another human being. Yes of course I would step in.
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Old 09-19-2012, 10:56 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by EmilytheStrange

I'm sorry that happened to you.

but I still don't agree. If your child is physically touching/bullying my child, then I have every right to touch your child.

and for the record, the child was not pretending to kick her face, he just wasn't doing it very hard. And it doesn't matter. If he had simply been standing at the top of the ladder and not letting her finish climbing up, that's still unacceptable. It's dangerous for her to be so high up and not be able to get onto the landing.

No. I have no problem removing a child who is being aggressive towards another child. If I saw an adult abuse another adult, I'd step in there, too. I am not the kind to just 'look the other way' and consider that someone else will step in. And if my child ever became the bully, I would not be the type of mom who irrationally started yelling at another mom for stepping in if I was unable.

I firmly believe it takes a village. Children test their limits everywhere. Mom cannot be everywhere.

It would be one thing if I was talking about backhanding some bully child, but we are talking about simply moving them or grabbing their arm that's raised to hit or push or whatever. We are not talking about leaving marks on children's arms or spanking them when they are not our own. We are talking about bullies who are physically being abusive to another human being. Yes of course I would step in.
I hate this saying but agree to disagree I do understand what you are saying though. My DD is only 3 but I've been working with children for 10 years +. There are so many times I wanted to do more than remove "my" child from the situation. But I stop myself. Something doesn't feel right to me about it I guess. :shrugs: but that doesn't mean I'm right. I did stand up for a girl who was about 10 years old being bullied by another group of girls. It was strictly verbal and their parents weren't there. My acknowledgment to what they were doing was enough to make them stop.

And it does matter what really happened to your little one . I miss understood the post.
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Old 09-20-2012, 06:38 AM   #34
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Re: How would you have reacted?

I have zero problems calling kids out on nasty behavior. I seem to have to do it a lot and it's really annoying.
Last month we went to a pirate day event and there was a kid in the bouncy house knocking children down and then jumping all around them for fun. His parents weren't watching him or didn't care. He almost jumped on my child's neck. I've never moved so fast to remove my child from a situation and I flat out screamed at that kid.

I let my child work things out with children we know well but random kids out and about I'll intervene right away.
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Old 09-20-2012, 09:53 AM   #35
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Re: How would you have reacted?

I would have said something to the child, and probably to the mom at some point if I got irritated enough. I also wouldn't have a problem with physically stopping the other child from doing something to my child. If mom doesn't like it, maybe she'll remove her child like she should anyway if she can't control him.
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Old 09-20-2012, 10:08 AM   #36
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Re: How would you have reacted?

I can not even imagine allowing someone else, child or not, to assault my child in front of me. And I can't imagine being that child and having my mom stand there and do nothing.

I have, and will continue to, talk to other children that are being nasty to my child. If they need a scolding and no one is doing it, I absolutely do. It's not nice baby talk, I will talk to them just as I'd scold my own son for naughty behavior. I haven't had a child physically assault my son, but if one was and verbal correction wasn't working, I would physically remove the child from mine and if they snatched a toy, I'd snatch it right back and give it back to my child, and send the other child on their way.
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Old 09-20-2012, 11:05 AM   #37
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Re: How would you have reacted?

I have no idea what I would have done, but I would guess I would have opened my mouth when the offender started following my kid and said something along the lines of, "Your mommy told you not to do that. Mind your mommy/manners." Then me being me, I would have asked my kid if he was interested in sharing as a gesture of good will, but it wouldn't be forced.
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