This growing up thing is hard

[corinne76]

Originally Posted by seeinstarrz Oh man. That hurts my heart for you! My daughter just started PreK. She loves it, and has a few friends, but a couple days ago she came home and said that a boy in her class called her an idiot and he got in trouble by the teacher. And then she asked me what 'idiot' meant. I debated lying to her, because I wanted to protect her from feeling bad about what this kid said...but I told her honestly. She assured me she was smart and that maybe the boy was grumpy that day. Sigh...I wish they never would lose their innocence!

that's so cute. I love the way kids look at things.
I wish my DD had that attitude. She's just really sensitive sometimes. Just today she was watching Jake and the Neverland Pirates. the Jake Save Bucky one. where capn Hook takes their ship. Well she cried when Jake lost his ship. It made her sad. She's never cried at a show or movie before.

[corinne76]

Originally Posted by isabelsmummy Being the oldest in the class is no piece of cake either. It seems great in Kindy but when you're the first to get a bra that's no fun either!! What most of the moms here do in kindy is start 'creating' friendships for the kids. Organize playdates and help her make friends. The kids don't even realize they are being unkind. It's totally possible some are too shy or lack the vocabulary to even say what they thought about the heart she gave them. kwim?

thanks for this perspective.
Ive been asking her if she's been playing with the kids and she said yes. She mostly plays with one girl. and no one has been mean to her lately.

[vatblack]

I kind of understand what you feel OP. My story is silly compared to yours but I mention it because I couldn't believe how instinctively I just wanted to jump in and save the day!
My 3yo started "tot time" at our local rec center for 4 hours, 3x a week.

In the mornings there is a 1/2 hour "parent participation" which basically means moms and dads stand around watching the kids play, getting to know one another and so on. One morning, the teacher had an organized game going and she used a bell for it. My daughter walked up as she would with me and asked: Can I please? The teacher tugged it abruptly under her arm and said curtly: No, definitely not.

My heart broke for my daughter. I held my breath and had to stop myself from running to her and trying to explain why the teacher means she couldn't have it... etc. Just to notice my daughter not even thinking about it twice and just moving on to the next thing.

If I could feel like that over something so small, I can't imagine how I'd feel if she told me other children were mean to her.

[kimb96]

It is hard to see your kids go through this stuff. Ds had a hard time last year in 2nd grade. He was new to the school and he was different. He came from a british school in thailand and while he is american, he really is more british than american. You can see it in the expressions he uses and he speaks with an english accent. He tries very hard to drop the accent at school but it does come out when he's at home.

Last year he came home and told he wasn't popular. That made me so sad that he even knew that word and what it meant. He was trying so hard to be friends with one particular boy that he thought was cool and popular. But things have a way of working themselves out. Both he and the other boy played baseball on the same team last year and they are good friends now. The other boy is a great kid. I think ds was making a nuisance of himself by trying so hard to befriend this kid rather than letting the friendship happen naturally.

Its hard as a parent to let your kid work it out themselves. I so wanted to intervene last year. Ds got picked on at the beginning of the year for his accent. He came from an international school with kids from all over the world, so differences are celebrated, to america where being different makes you weird. Playing baseball really did wonders for helping him to fit in and for making friends. This year has so far been much better. He goes to a private christian school and they try to keep friend sets together. So he has his two good friends in his class. There is a new boy in his class and I reminded him how it felt last year to be the new kid and to include him.