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Old 09-17-2012, 10:40 AM   #1
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Name pressure...anyone????

So, now that we have found out (and revealed) we are having a girl, I am getting a lot of familial pressure to name her after my deceased mother. My mother died when I was 19 (11 years ago) from cancer. What her immediate and extended family doesnt know is that my mother was a very different person around them, than she was around her children. In the latter years, we had an ambivalent relationship at best, but my mother always had a sweet/kind/funny/personable demeanor toward others and made fast friends easily.

I dont feel like its appropriate to try to get them to understand my mother's full personality spectrum at this juncture (I feel like its old news. Ive done a lot of work to get beyond our relationship, and if they want to idealize her, then thats fine by me). My pregnancy hormones have no problem informing them that we simply choose to remember my mother other ways (than to name our only daughter after her) LOL!!!!. But, its just irritating

Anyone else getting name pressure???

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Old 09-17-2012, 11:35 AM   #2
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Thankfully our family doesnt try to sway name choices but I would name her what you and DH want. Then if the family has anything to say about it you could say something like " shes her own person and we really wanted her to have her own name."

Have fun naming your little girl!!!

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Old 09-17-2012, 12:18 PM   #3
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Re: Name pressure...anyone????

My mom died 16 years ago and my sister and I made a promise when she was pregnant with her first that we wouldn't use her name. Mostly because neither of us like it but more importantly we want our kids to have their own identity. Have fun naming your baby girl!
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Old 09-17-2012, 01:57 PM   #4
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Re: Name pressure...anyone????

I agree with the girls above, each child should have their own name. Just say no This is the girl you two have wanted and hoped for, give her a name you love.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:13 PM   #5
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Re: Name pressure...anyone????

I read somewhere else... just tell those people, "We're considering it." or "We'll think about it." and leave it at that... then don't share your name choice until baby girl is born. Once she's born, what's done is done.
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Old 09-17-2012, 04:26 PM   #6
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Re: Name pressure...anyone????

omg i got that from my own mother. she gave me her middle name and wanted me to give this one the same middle name if it is a girl. uh not gonna happen. one i'm not a fan of it and two i'm NOT gonna give my daughter initials that spell A-S-S. she knows the first name is aurelia if it's a girl no matter what and our last name starts with a S, so no not gonna happen.
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Old 09-17-2012, 05:29 PM   #7
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Re: Name pressure...anyone????

A-S-S? That is horrible! One of my friends names spelled out M-A-D but we just thought it was funny and no one really realized. However, I could NEVER do that to my child with A-S-S. My kids names don't spell anything EJH and GLH. I kinda like it that way. The next baby's names are already decided on and they don't spell anything either.
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Old 09-17-2012, 05:46 PM   #8
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Re: Name pressure...anyone????

I know a girl who married into the A-S-S initials
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Old 09-17-2012, 06:49 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by amcess721
I know a girl who married into the A-S-S initials
Ouch. I was going to give DD2 my middle name, but her initials would have been JRC, which was just too close to "jerk" to me. JJC it is (which are actually DH's initials, too).

I agree with the "we're considering it" idea. It at least makes them feel better, but gives you freedom to do what you want in the end. I don't get why anyone feels the need to pipe up about names anyway...especially when "in honor" of someone. It just makes it awkward.
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Old 09-17-2012, 06:52 PM   #10
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Re: Name pressure...anyone????

I agree with simply saying you might consider it. I don't even know if I'd say that I *would*. Then don't reveal the name until after the baby is here and what's done is done.

With DS we had my MIL bugging us all of the time with what we were going to name him and giving us suggestions. We didn't name him until after he was born and plan on doing the same this time around.
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