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Old 06-15-2006, 08:15 PM   #31
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

i keep my son's hair long. not super long as i would like to keep it longer than it is, but i have to compromise with his dad. my son was born with a very misshapen skull and the doc band didnt nearly correct all of it, so his head is still pretty misshapen. so i keep it long to help to "hide" it, because of all the rude comments i have heard. dont get me wrong im not ashamed of my son, but am trying to spare him the hurt.



that is usually about what i keep it sometimes a little longer in the back.

heather marie

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Old 06-15-2006, 08:49 PM   #32
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

I let my 8 year old wear his hair as long as he wants as long as I can see his eyes. If I can't see his eyes through his hair then he has to get his bangs trimmed or find a way to get it pulled back. He can grow it to his waist for all I care. There are lots of other battles I choose fight but hair won't be one of them. Oh, I forgot the other "hair rule", he has to let me get the tangles out so it doesn't dread.
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Old 06-16-2006, 11:16 AM   #33
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

For ds1, he got his first haircut when I was sick and tired of the "What an adorable little girl!" comments even if he's wearing blue clothes with trucks plastered all over. Since then, I've kept it cut/trimmed because when it reaches his ears..he starts messing with them. Took me a long time to figure that out I'd always start thinking, "Oh gosh, I hope he's not getting an ear infection" and then realize it was the hair. He loves getting a hair cut. When he begins to have a preference, I don't care at all what he does with it - as long as it's kept clean, short or long. Same rules apply to ds2. He's only 9.5 mo, but I have trimmed around his ears and the back of his head because I am against a mullet. And the hair that was above his ears seemed to be longer than anything else and like a pp, looked like he could've taken flight! I love dh with long hair (once it's grown out, not the growing out process)...and he had long hair all throughout MS/HS I think (we met online, didn't go to school together...i had pics, but not many )...and if my boys decided they wanted long hair, I'd love it on them too, I'm sure. But I think they all look great with short hair too...My dad was always ALWAYS controlling over my hair. Even after I turned 18 (but while I was still in school)....my hair was down to my rear and I told dad I need a trim to get the dead ends off...and his response was, "I'll think about it..." What?? All it did was make me rebel. There's no point in fighting over something so trivial
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Old 06-16-2006, 12:38 PM   #34
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

OMG, I love the mohawk!! I am not a big fan of men with long hair in general - I have never been "with" or dated someone with long hair - it bothers me for some reason, LOL. My son's hair is still short - we've never had him get a haircut - he's 20 months. It's getting to the point that we'll have to, though, because it's growing a little unevenly and just needs to be trimmed.
I wouldn't be a big fan of my sons growing their hair out - just because I don't really like dudes with long hair, LOL. If they were old enough to ask for it to be long (and calling most of their own shots) I would let them do it as long as it was "neat". As younger kids when I have to take care of their hair all of the time, I think I'll make all the decisions, LOL.
Amusingly, DH used to have long hair (middle of the back, I think) before I met him, but now he shaves it bald. Wouldn't have it any other way, LOL.
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Old 06-16-2006, 12:43 PM   #35
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

I haven't read all the other posts yet but I'd say you have to pick your battles. I'm sure this will come up in our house in a couple of years too and I'll probably take a lot of heat from my parents if I let my boys make their own decisions but for me, it's just not worth fighting about. As for the one with the big head, he'll figure it out sooner or later and decide to go with a more flattering style...but the more you have to say about it, the more determined they're going to be, ya know?
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Old 06-16-2006, 12:50 PM   #36
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

I don't have a DS yet (due in October), but DH and I have discussed this.

DD has always been able to pick her hair style, but she's only allowed to get a cut every 10 weeks (otherwise she'd be there every week!) We plan on doing the same with our son.

I'm really strict about what clothes she can wear (she picks her outfits, I pic the wardrobe) and other things, like TV time (2 hours/week, MAX...and she has to earn it by doing extra math and reading), that I need to have some things that she can totally control herself. I wouldn't let her get highlights in kindergarten (the only thing I've vetoed), but would let her dye it a fun color (likely with temporary dye the first time).

With DS-on-the-way...we'll let him pick as soon as he is old enough to pick. ..it's just one of those things that I'll let him control. As far as it looking silly...if he does something that the kids will tease him about, I'm sure he'll just ask for a change.
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Old 06-16-2006, 12:52 PM   #37
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by keithsmom03
i keep my son's hair long. not super long as i would like to keep it longer than it is, but i have to compromise with his dad. my son was born with a very misshapen skull and the doc band didnt nearly correct all of it, so his head is still pretty misshapen. so i keep it long to help to "hide" it, because of all the rude comments i have heard. dont get me wrong im not ashamed of my son, but am trying to spare him the hurt.



that is usually about what i keep it sometimes a little longer in the back.

heather marie
Off topic: What's the sweeping contraption you've got there?
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Old 06-16-2006, 07:38 PM   #38
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

i just cut david's hair. we like it short. dh being in the army for 20yrs still shaves it all now being out. dh had long hair at 16 and i have to say he looked good. will see when we get there with david though. not sure.
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Old 06-16-2006, 08:43 PM   #39
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

I keep coming back to the subject mainly because I started the thread, lol! But many of you have some good points, some of which my DH brought up and reminded me when we had our talk. One being, not to act like my own mom, who was very controlling of us when I was a child. DH and I do have last say over what the kids wear, girls not too short or revealing or slutty, boys no unders showing or crotch down to their ankle but otherwise we give them free reign within those parameters. The hair issue has only been within the last year, as his bio-mom had cut his hair until she died (he was 11), so it was actually a non-issue for me, and at that point my 9 yo didn't care either way. It's funny that some of you have mentioned the "clean" issue, and that's one point I didn't mention but that's a factor, which is that for some reason our boys have an aversion to taking showers without being told. My 9 yo I have on a schedule every day or at the very least every other day, but I figured the 12 and 17 yo were old enough to be responsible for their hygiene, but guess what? NOPE! Pretty sad when you have to ask "When was the last time you took a shower?". At that point I had to put 12 yo back on a shower schedule, or he'd smell funky and his hair would be greasy. The 17 yo I had to have DH talk to him, as he'd walk by and I'd practically fall over from the pit smell, blech. I'm a step-mom to the two oldest boys, so I'm in a bit of a funny position....I have to leave a lot to my husband to follow through on, and with him being an over the road trucker (for the moment) he has to assist long-distance. I think some things are the SM and SK struggles, but the point is right, in that I have to pick my battles. If they stay clean and keep it neat, I guess I can't complain. They're good kids, get great grades and are respectful, so I guess I'm ahead of the game!
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Old 06-16-2006, 08:46 PM   #40
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Re: Boys and hair length, what do you do?

This is a bit of a sensitive issue for me... both of my boys' first hair cuts were at the hands of someone else, without my permission. And both times, a LOT of hair was cut off. Shaun (5) has worn a bowl cut kind of thing ever since his first hair cut was done that way. I've never had the opportunity to let it grow longer than that because whenever he is visiting his dad's house (my ex) they end up cutting it, buzzing it down to the skin "because it's hot" (in December? In Virginia? Give me a break!). Shaun doesn't want his hair cut, he wants to grow it out long. He has very beautiful thick, straight dark hair. I love long hair, on guys or girls, so I'm perfectly okay with it. We'll see if he still has his hair at the end of this summer when he comes home from his dad's. I do trim the front and sort of at the ears because his hair grows very fast but will NOT lay back, it gets in his eyes. Trent's hair was cut by my MIL (after months of threatening to do it in a not-quite-joking sort of way) while I was in the friggin' hospital having Katrina. I was so pissed and upset and I cried for days and I cried every time I washed his hair for almost a month, I made DH wash it the first two weeks because I started crying every time I touched it and me crying would upset Trent. Anyway.. Trent's got beautiful curls, or at least had beautiful curls, but it's now cut to just above collar length, with the front cut so it doesn't get in his eyes. All that's left of his pretty curls is a little flip at the ends (very Mary Tyler Moore) that just makes him look even MORE girlie. I cut Trent's hair when he tugs at his bangs and says "Ow, eyes." And now that you know all my personal hang ups...

At their age, I'd definitely let them choose their hairstyles, tell them they have to keep it up or it will get cut off. Washed and brushed every day, kept neat. They do need to have some control over things, and hair is such a trivial thing in the grand scheme of things. You don't want them to feel opressed and bullied and overcontrolled and end up rebelling in other ways. Your compromise sounds like a very good way to deal with it.
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