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Old 09-25-2012, 02:37 PM   #11
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Re: Even when you save you just can't win

At this point I would not give her one red cent. Donate or sell the old cars.

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Old 09-25-2012, 02:40 PM   #12
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Re: Even when you save you just can't win

Yeah I say sell the cars, too.

I'm 24 and if someone told me to go ask a (non-existing) older sibling for the money, I would laugh in their faces. I don't need charity from family! I just can't even imagine this line of thinking... like I wasn't sure if this was a joke at first.
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Old 09-25-2012, 02:42 PM   #13
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Re: Even when you save you just can't win

Wait, what? why are YOU specifically expected to give her money and no one else in the family? Like why is it not expected of her parents?
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Old 09-25-2012, 02:42 PM   #14
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Re: Even when you save you just can't win

Wow... That's pretty ballsy. Is it a cultural difference?

DH comes from a culture where the children take care of the parents. We were asked to contribute a paltry $10,000 for his mother's new car/new house. We simply told them we couldn't afford it (and we couldn't) and no one seemed too upset although I am sure they didn't like it.

We still give his mother money every month and when she had some house repairs we gave her a few thousand but we made it clear that we didn't have the money to be giving thousands often.
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Old 09-25-2012, 03:23 PM   #15
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That is crazy!!
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Old 09-25-2012, 04:00 PM   #16
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Re: Even when you save you just can't win

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Originally Posted by keonli View Post
Our plan was to find a car relatively soon and give her one of our old ones. Apparently, DH's family finds this selfish. We know our cars will last a few years more and won't fit us with our commutes, but it will certainly work for someone just driving around the city like his sister does.
I think it's very generous that you'd give her a functioning car at all. To give her money or buy her a new one is ridiculous!
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Old 09-25-2012, 04:21 PM   #17
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Ugh. That really bugs me.

DHs aunt called us a few weeks ago telling us she needed $10,000 for a lawyer for her son who is apparently a sex offender they're trying to keep out of jail. They think just because DH was a contractor overseas he is loaded (he's loaded because he doesn't write $10,000 checks on a whim.. Grrr). Where do people get that gross sense of entitlement?? Ugh.
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Old 09-25-2012, 04:23 PM   #18
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Re: Even when you save you just can't win

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Ugh. That really bugs me.

DHs aunt called us a few weeks ago telling us she needed $10,000 for a lawyer for her son who is apparently a sex offender they're trying to keep out of jail.
Dear lord above - PLEASE tell me you either hung up on her, or told her where to shove it!!!!!!
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Old 09-25-2012, 04:32 PM   #19
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Wow. The audacity! Even if y'all had $$$$ it is still horribly rude and entitled to say that! It is your money!
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Old 09-25-2012, 06:14 PM   #20
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Re: Even when you save you just can't win

When she works as hard and consistently as you both do/have she will have money in the bank for the things that she needs also. If she chooses to save. Since they have this mentality ask which one of them is going to pay for your new roof. I am so glad that your husband is getting to the point where he isn't impacted by the guilt too much. It is crazy, they expect you two to contribute financially to grown adults when you have 2 helpless little children to protect(am including pumpkin on the way)? Stay strong!!
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