Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-26-2012, 04:54 PM   #1
Erinne's Avatar
Erinne
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,699
doula as childcare?

Has anyone hired a doula primarily to care for their older child? My dd will be almost 4 when #2 comes and I really want her to be there, but she'll obviously need someone to help her understand what's going on and stay out of the way. If my labor is long, I'd love to have dh and a doula to trade off with me and with dd. I feel like it's kinda disrespectful of the training and expertise of doulas to ask them to basically be a babysitter, but I don't have any family around and all my friends have their own young children, and I need to have someone who knows enough about birth to know when it's a good time for dd to be around and know to take her out if it's going to get scary, know how to explain things to her, etc. This must be a common problem, right?

Advertisement

__________________
Mama to Ada, 7-23-09 and Sylvia, 11-27-13
Erinne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 06:46 PM   #2
Vegan Princess
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 1,305
I havent given birth yet but we hired a Doula. My friend posted a message for me on the local Doula group site and I got like 20 replies of women willing to do it. I really wanted someone comfortable around birth. I like that she can give my husband pointers and switch off with him in earlier labor. She has a 3 yr old like we do and has come a number of times to hang out with her or have a playdate with her son. So I do think my daughter is comfortable with her now. My daughter is closer to 4 and I think she understands our doulas role and is cool with it.

Now I just need baby to come!

Cindy
__________________
Mama to DD (1/09) and DD (9/12)
Vegan Princess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2012, 08:43 PM   #3
twinpossible's Avatar
twinpossible
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: in a pile of laundry!
Posts: 1,987
My Mood:
Re: doula as childcare?

I would say to hire a babysitter or nanny for the birth. We are having our two nannies "on call" for our birth so they can help keep our twins occupied. I don't think I would have the doula do that, she is there for YOU not your child.
__________________
A crunchy wife to B and momma of identical twin girls G & E , our rainbow
baby C born at home April 2013 and R forever in my heart.
twinpossible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 07:49 AM   #4
jenbengtson's Avatar
jenbengtson
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 888
My Mood:
Re: doula as childcare?

i would interview nannys and babysitters so that you can have someone oncall for this. And it might be cheaper in the long run. If your in labor in the middle of the night she will be sleeping. So you wont need someone then.
__________________
Mommy to Emma 10-11-2008 and Madeline 7-24-2010
Join me at CROWDTAP http://bit.ly/jCJLSN
jenbengtson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 08:06 AM   #5
qsefthuko's Avatar
qsefthuko
Registered Users
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 16,282
Re: doula as childcare?

I think you are right. It would be disrespectful of her training. You wouldn't ask or expect a nurse to babysit while you gave birth.

You may wish to start looking for a sitter.
qsefthuko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 08:08 AM   #6
tinyblackdot's Avatar
tinyblackdot
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,107
My Mood:
Re: doula as childcare?

I posted a thread similar to this and the response i got was to try to find a student doula that would be willing to help and be there to witness the birth.

I believe they need to be present for so many births, so it would help them with their certification, and help you you lo.

I will have an almost 6 year old at the time of our birth, and she wants to be there, but I do NOT want my mom or MIL there this time. I have a doula that we are using for the birth and i plan on seeing what she would suggest.
__________________
Melanie-Mommy to my HERO Madeline 1/15/07-8/23/13 Fight For Maddie and our Bumble Bean-jamin 1/19/13
tinyblackdot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 08:10 AM   #7
doulamomma's Avatar
doulamomma
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,731
I wouldn't find it disrespectful or insulting. A doula is there to support you in whatever way you need. I'm sure not all doulas would feel that way though. Just be upfront about what you want/expect and ask if that is something they are willing to do

Sent from my droid
__________________
Lora, blessed to be a wife to Aaron- 11 years and a Mom to DD Ella-7, DD Ava-5, Olivia-3, Weston-1
I sell SCENTSY!!!Labor and delivery resources HERE
doulamomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 08:52 AM   #8
HeatherlovesCDs
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 10,081
My Mood:
Re: doula as childcare?

Quote:
Originally Posted by doulamomma View Post
I wouldn't find it disrespectful or insulting. A doula is there to support you in whatever way you need. I'm sure not all doulas would feel that way though. Just be upfront about what you want/expect and ask if that is something they are willing to do

Sent from my droid
I'm not a doula nor have I even had one at my birth...yet...but this is what I think. I think if you plan to use the doula in both roles (with the switching off) it makes perfect sense. Also, I was thinking that you wanted you child to actually be in the room with you and see the birth. I wouldn't want a nanny I don't know to be there for my child for that. Of course, you probably have time to get to know a nanny if you decide to go that route instead, but they still aren't trained in birth.

I have 5 kids who are 6 and under. I don't want them there for the birth. So, I have a doula and I have other childcare. I am relying on my doula for the majority of my labor support even though my husband and my mom will be there. I've had my husband and mom before and I hired my doula for a reason. So, we are planning to be at home for the majority of my labor. I do have separate childcare, but while at home, I do fully intend to send my husband and mom to help with the kids if needed, not my doula. (I'll be locked in my room. ) But, I could totally see someone else doing the opposite.

I would call around and be totally upfront about what you want and see who might be willing to fill the exact role you are looking for. It might be someone still in training, and that would cost less, but maybe it will be someone who's been doing it for 30 years. You never know till you ask.
__________________
Heather SAHM to 6 who are 7 and under, including 2 sets of twins and our last little miracle, a surviving identical twin, born Oct 2012!
HeatherlovesCDs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 10:56 AM   #9
Vegan Princess
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 1,305
Re: doula as childcare?

I don't think it's disrespectful at all. I didn't specify in my first reply, but we did find a low cost, newer doula. And a lot of the doulas who responded were just excited to be able to have the chance to be at another homebirth. I just did not feel ok with the idea of asking one of our regular sitters or nannies - that would be too akward for me. I don't think this is that uncommon of a request from doulas - I've seen it mentioned frequently on various homebirth boards - that's where I got the idea.

Cindy
__________________
Mama to DD (1/09) and DD (9/12)
Vegan Princess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-27-2012, 11:06 AM   #10
ServingHim's Avatar
ServingHim
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 7,102
Re: doula as childcare?

My doula offered this service to me. My husband was away and we weren't sure he would make it home in time for the birth. It would have just been me and the kids with the doula and the midwife at home.
He made it home so it wasn't needed but she still helped with them and she also did dishes and made food. She was wonderful!
__________________
Kimberly, Blessed to be Carl's wife!
Mama to 6 sweet blessings!
ServingHim is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.