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Old 11-13-2012, 09:05 PM   #21
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Re: When did you stay home?

We lived on DH's income and saved mine, from the day we got married at 21. Even when we both graduated a year later and got higher paying jobs, we lived off just his and put mine toward our house. After five years, our house was totally paid for and we had a fully funded emergency fund, and at that time we started a family.

I quit working 3 week before our oldest was born. It was the same income as always, minus a mortgage . Baby was CD and EBF, so no real expenses other than the birth (meeting the deductible). Now by the time #2 came along two years later, we had the food expenses and such of our older child but DH had also gotten raises every year.

Now we have four kids and the same has continued to happen--our expenses go up but so does his paycheck (some years less than othrs). We try to be very thrifty even though his income is now much much higher.

We also both had the world's greatest parents who funded our bachelor's degrees (with provisions) and cars (cheap, but they ran!) and pastor who would not marry us without attending Dave Ramsey FPU. Best class ever! I got to live my SAHM dream because of it

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Old 11-13-2012, 10:27 PM   #22
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Re: When did you stay home?

weve always had a sahp since ds1 was around 4. otherwise x and i worked different shifts/days.
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Old 11-14-2012, 08:30 AM   #23
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Re: When did you stay home?

I graduated college, got married 2 weeks later and before I could find a job, I was pregnant. I never went to "work". I babysat, did day care, then started sewing (although I still watch my friends' kids for her a few times a week). We didn't really need the money, but it made things more cushy with me having money coming in.

There is a great book, one you can possibly get at the library, called America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right On The Money. It was really helpful in cutting expenses for us.
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Old 11-21-2012, 12:48 AM   #24
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Re: When did you stay home?

I became a SAHM when I got married. I already had 2 children from my teen years that were in school, but I worked. I moved into DH's house and stayed home from then on. It would cost way too much money to put my non-schooler in daycare for the amount of money I would make. Plus I'm going to school for my RN degree, so it would just be too much!

It's all about cut backs!
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:05 AM   #25
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Re: When did you stay home?

I've been a SAHM soon after I got pregnant with our first. Now i think its the most economic option for me to stay home and look after the kids rather than paying for daycare for all of them/ I really don't have many skills outside of the home sadly so this just works for us
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:22 AM   #26
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Re: When did you stay home?

We are going to TTC #4 some time next year. We have made a spreadsheet and there is no way we can live on DH's income in our current house. We have free daycare (my mom, who comes to my house every morning), so it is financially extremely irresponsible for me to not work. I'm a teacher with 10 years experience and a masters, and make good money. We'd have to sell our house, which will be paid for in about 10 years. If I quit, I lose a big chunk of my retirement fund. Our money vests upon retirement in my district, so if you leave, you lose all the matching money.

DH is a programmer. His job isn't completely stable. They've laid off several of the guys in the last two years. His department went from 8 to 3. If I didn't have free grandma care in my own home, we might feel differently. But since we aren't paying for daycare, and we'd be royally screwed if DH got laid off, I continue to work, which allows the kids to do lots of activities and us to take nice vacations/save a lot for the future.
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:40 AM   #27
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Re: When did you stay home?

We have #4 due this summer and dh will have to be a SAHD next year. I'm a teacher so I will have the summer off, but when I go back in the fall, he will stay home. His paycheck just does not cover 3 kids in full time daycare. (We have one child in school)
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Old 11-22-2012, 08:59 AM   #28
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Re: When did you stay home?

I took 6 months maternity leave about a month before DS2 was born. DS1 started preschool that summer, and in the fall when it was getting close to time to return to my job, I lobbied for the opportunity to work from home a few days/week (I was planning to hire a nanny to watch my kids during work-from-home hours) My job did not agree to let me work from home so I resigned and it cut our income almost completely in half.

How we were able to make it work: we RARELY take vacations, maybe road trips to visit family but that's about it. We bought our home 11 years ago, small and entry-level price, that we still live in. DH does most of the remodeling/updating work himself or with a friend, slowly, so its not exactly a showroom home but it works We do not have any debt other than our mortgage b/c we paid off our student loans within 5 years of leaving college. We always buy used cars and pay cash...not that we buy cars very often. I drove my first car, a used Honda Civic, for 14 years, and DH similarly drives his cars many, many years before getting a "new" used car.

I guess we are very conservative financially, do not go into debt and we saved a lot of money in the time we were both working. I really wanted to move to a larger, nicer home in a better neighborhood and that's what I was saving for, but I traded that away when I resigned from my job to stay home w/the boys.

I don't homeschool them though, and I do plan to eventually return to work, maybe when DS2 is in 2nd or 3rd grade, so that we can afford to move. I like our home more now than I did when we bought it, but it's definitely not a forever home and I can't imagine living here forever.

In the meantime, DH's job is more than enough to pay all our bills and we can always turn to our savings for any major emergencies.

ETA -- > I wanted to add that my DH is not always the most supportive of me SAHM. He thinks it's good, but he also thinks I don't get enough stuff done around the house. He speaks about me going back to work at least a couple times/month, but then says that I will probably never go back to work. I would say he has issues with "fairness" and he doesn't see us as doing fair and equal jobs right now. Which stinks b/c I think SAHM is much harder than when I was WOHM.
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Old 11-22-2012, 09:16 AM   #29
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Re: When did you stay home?

i have always been a sahm. we decided this b4 we even had kids. i did babysit to help bring money in untill i was prego w/ my daughter. when i was 5mo prego w/ her my dh & i decided for me to stop babysitting. i wasnt able to give all the <3 & attention to all the kids like i wanted too. it also would of made it harder for us to hs r kids. espically r son w/ autism. so we decided to stop for now & focus on r family. when the kids arnt so young aneymore & i can balance my time on all the kids. not just my own. them i will pick it up again since i really did enjoy it. we did have to become really thrifty for us to do this but it has been worth it to us.
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Old 11-25-2012, 07:41 PM   #30
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Re: When did you stay home?

I worked throughout my first pregnancy, up to two days before my son was born -- and then never went back. I've been a WAHM ever since. At some points I've earned a very good full time income and at other times, just enough to help us with groceries and extras. We've made it work throughout it all.

Could you tutor high school and college students, or start a small business to bring in extra income, if not replace your current salary?
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