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Old 10-16-2012, 11:01 PM   #1
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Question for parents of 3+ kids

I have always wanted 3-4 kids and am due with my second in March. Though now that I am actually due with my second and we have recently relocated to the other side of the country from all of our family, I am starting to wonder if having more than two kids is a good idea. How do you feel about having 3+ kids financially. We like to travel and want to keep doing so but the more kids we have = the more money we have to spend on plane tickets, attraction tickets, food etc. I also am not a huge fan of mini-vans and if we had 4 kids we would need to get a bigger car. How do you deal with things like visiting family/ traveling/ holiday events etc. And would you say that the pros far outweigh the financial cons? (I know most people would never think about going back and not having the extra kid or two but if there were things you just didn't realize before the extra additions and life was much easier beforehand I'd love to hear it. No judging here!)

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Old 10-16-2012, 11:33 PM   #2
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I have 3 ( we want one more) and I love it. My children bring so much joy. Yeah we have to buy another plane ticket if we want to fly. Oh well. I love my kids. Totally worth it!
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Old 10-16-2012, 11:41 PM   #3
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Re: Question for parents of 3+ kids

We have four kids, everything now costs more but it is completely worth it to see the joy we bring to our children when we do fun things and go to fun places.
We just save up so we can do what we want, I personally would much rather have the kids than go places though. We also claimed we'd never get a minivan, well, last October we bought our Odyssey Touring edition and it is an amazing vehicle, awesome on gas and so roomy, i love it and so does dh who also stated he'd never buy one..lol
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Old 10-17-2012, 12:01 AM   #4
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Re: Question for parents of 3+ kids

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Originally Posted by Sweet_Fantasy_Fox View Post
We have four kids, everything now costs more but it is completely worth it to see the joy we bring to our children when we do fun things and go to fun places.
We just save up so we can do what we want, I personally would much rather have the kids than go places though. We also claimed we'd never get a minivan, well, last October we bought our Odyssey Touring edition and it is an amazing vehicle, awesome on gas and so roomy, i love it and so does dh who also stated he'd never buy one..lol
this. We are expecting our 4th (and last). We have a minivan, and we'll probably just plan ahead to drive everywhere rather than fly, etc. Disney will end up being a once every couple years TOPS thing, and not several times a year like we did when DS1 was an only. But the joy of having a big family and seeing my children light up when we DO get to do the big stuff...totally worth it. They will appreciate the special occasions instead of expecting them too.
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Old 10-17-2012, 05:35 AM   #5
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Re: Question for parents of 3+ kids

We have 4. I wouldn't trade them for the world. My husband's job is one where there are temporary lay offs every year. During those times things are tight but we make it work. When we go to Disney we will drive and not fly. I so drive a mini van and love it. I also said I would never have one but they are so much easier than the suv we used to drive. I am thrilled that my kids get to grow up with more siblings than I did. I am one of 2 and always wish I had more siblings. Whatever you decide it has to be right for your family.
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Old 10-17-2012, 05:55 AM   #6
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Re: Question for parents of 3+ kids

I have 4 kids and I say if you have 3, you might as well have 4 (if physically able and willing). Financially, it can be a stretch sometimes. 3 out of those 4 are boys and they sure do eat... haha. We buy used things and are perfectly happy with that though. We drive a mini-van, but ever since I nannied, I've always been in love with how roomy they are. If you hate minivans, have you thought about an suv?

Traveling is harder. We can only afford to go fly to see my family every other year. The plan is for me to fly out during the in-between year for 3-4 days so that way I still get to see all my siblings once a year. We spent 2,300 on plane tickets for 5 (baby was held) last August!

I am one of 7, biologically children and I am best friends with my siblings. We talk on the phone every week and write emails and letters. And knowing there are 6 of them out there (and even more since I love all their spouses and children!) who love me, support me, encourage me... it truly is priceless. I am soooooooooooo thankful my parents gave me such a wonderful gift of so many siblings! I want that for my children with all my heart too.

Sooo worth it.
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:00 AM   #7
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Re: Question for parents of 3+ kids

I have three and yes financially it's a bit of a stretch, more so than two, but totally worth it. We've switched the focus away from certain activities (gymnastics, ballet) to activities that cost less and/or are family oriented (cheerleeading for oldest dd, community theatre for all of us, etc). As far as everything else goes (food, clothing, etc) I don't notice that it's all that much more. We pass clothes down (all girls), I try to cook more from scratch, etc. I love my three. It's nice because if thee older two are fighting, there is one more around to play with!

ETA: When traveling with one or two, I always flew. With three, I ended up driving to Florida when we went last year. It was actually cheaper. I looked for major deals at Disney though, and wasn't too bad financially. We spent $4000 on a three week trip to Florida, which included time at my relatives and a week in disney
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:27 AM   #8
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We have 3 and still travel. We just have to be more careful at the grocery store and clothing store so we have the money for trips and violin lessons, karate, etc.
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:44 AM   #9
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Re: Question for parents of 3+ kids

We have three, and, TBH, the biggest jump for us was from one to two. That changed things in a crazy way in our house. Two to three was easy peasy. Our number three is the most laid back, easy going kid. We have always said we could take him anywhere, he is just along for the ride.

Sure things cost more. Sure, we haven't flown overseas since the last was an infant. But, it's worth it. You just save up a bit more. We have just recently felt the bite of extra curricular activities for three this year. All three of ours are into something, and that is a bit of sticker shock. But, again, you pick and choose and it all works out. We also had to bite the bullet and get a mini van. If you can afford it, get a nice van to take out the ouchie of having to drive a mini van.
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Old 10-17-2012, 07:16 AM   #10
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Re: Question for parents of 3+ kids

I think it all depends on where you are starting and what you'd like to do. What I mean by where you are starting is financially - what your goals are, etc. I have some friends that love to travel and don't want to give it up. If a family has enough money than bring it on, but if reality is that they will be going into debt to keep up the lifestyle, than that's something you have to think about.

We have five kids and I wouldn't change it for the world, but I am honest with my good friends about the realities of 5 children. Everything costs A LOT more. Sometimes it seems that everything is a production. We haven't flown for years - it just costs way too much. We drive, but it still adds up. Grocery shopping is an adventure in the aisles and for the wallet. You can't stop anywhere to eat without it costing an arm and a leg. We are fine with it, but some don't want to give that up.

I truly love having a big family, but I see friends with smaller families and can see the love and joy they have AND they still travel, eat out, drive smaller cars (the list goes on). If it sounds envious, believe me its not. Also, we recognize that with 5 kids, we don't get invited to all the same things we did before. Yes, inviting us over is a lot, but we understand and appreciate when we are and roll with it. We have a lot of fun in our house and I wouldn't change it, but it isn't for everyone.

You mentioned moving across the country, do you have a good support network? I can't imagine not having family very close - especially just the logisitics of sick kids, giving birth, being pregnant and needing help, etc. I think the more kids I've had, the more I appreciate the help I receive. Just my two cents.
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